


Stray Cat

by Elleberquist6



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cats, Alternate Universe - Slavery, Cat/Human Hybrids, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Neko Dan Howell, Past Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Slow Burn, Smut, Teenage Dan Howell, YouTuber Phil Lester
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-03-27 10:11:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 32
Words: 66,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13878708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elleberquist6/pseuds/Elleberquist6
Summary: Phil Lester believes that if he does good things then good things will happen to him, so on one of the worst days of his life he invites a rain-soaked Neko boy named Dan into his home. Phil has never met a Neko before and he knows nothing about the dark system that has molded Dan. Dan is part of a repressed population with few rights, and as Phil gets to know him he can’t understand why – Dan is the most amazing person he has ever met.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am so excited to post this! I have a lot written, so expect consistent updates on M/W/F/S. Stick with me because I promise it gets good.

Phil was a positive person – it was just how he was raised. Always look on the bright side. If he broke a shoe lace, his mum would encourage him to think about the cool laces he could replace them with. If he dropped a snack on the pavement, think of the hungry squirrel that would enjoy it.

  
As a 22-year-old man, he still found himself trying see the world in this way, though it was hard to see the silver lining in his current situation. Phil tried to stop rubbing his eye, knowing that would make it hurt worse. He already had to take out his contacts and put on his glasses because he couldn’t leave his eye alone. While he was distracted, someone slipped into the booth beside him; he was sitting at his favorite seat in Starbucks. He looked up in surprise when she made a sound in the back of her throat to get his attention. “Linda!”

  
She gave a slight smile. “Hello, Phil. I almost didn’t recognize you in your glasses. Sorry I’m late.”

  
“No worries,” he said, though he’d been waiting for 30 minutes, and he hadn’t gotten a drink while waiting to be polite. She hadn’t responded to his texts either, but he pushed that thought out of his mind, melting in the warmth of her presence. Not that she was a very warm person – Phil would have loved to reach out and touch her, but he knew she would pull away, saying he was in her ‘personal bubble’. Still, he enjoyed being around her, or just anyone at the moment, because he’d had a truly awful day and he needed some comfort.

  
Linda had picked up their usual drinks on her way in, and she pushed his closer to him. He took a grateful sip of the caramel macchiato while she looked at him. She leaned closer, examining his face, and he inhaled, trying to catch the scent of her strawberry shampoo, but he couldn’t smell her over the overpowering aroma of coffee beans in the Starbucks. She leaned away after getting a good look at his eye. “Are you okay? How did you get a black eye?”

  
“It happened at work,” he explained, mentioning the stationary store. “I was on the register today and this customer went nuts on me. He tried to cut in line, saying he was in a hurry, and when I wouldn’t let him he grabbed a Terry’s chocolate orange off a display and threw it at my face.”

  
Her eyebrows knit together with concern, and the sight warmed his heart because he was very easy to please. “Poor baby. What happened next?”

  
Phil felt his cheeks get hot. “I might have sworn. Like, really. I cussed him out properly.”

  
“Oh,” she said, and he could tell from her expression that she’d figured out this wasn’t just an anecdote and that there might be some serious news coming. Linda asked, “Well, your manager understood, right? Anyone would swear at a customer under those circumstances.”

  
Phil frowned and broke eye contact. Unfortunately, Phil didn’t have an understanding manager and he wasn’t the best employee. While he was always cheerful and on time, he was naturally clumsy and he had knocked down so many displays that his manager had lost all patience with him. Also, this wasn’t just any customer. Phil explained, “No, Linda, I’m sorry. It didn’t go that way. This guy spends a lot of money in the shop, so when my manager came out of the back, things didn’t go well. The customer said I’d provoked him, and I admitted that I’d sworn at him…”

  
Linda sighed in disappointment. “Shit, Phil. Why do you never stand up for yourself?”

  
“I’m really sorry.” He tried to meet her eyes, but this time she looked away.

  
“You’re sorry because you were fired, aren’t you?” She sighed again.

  
He and Linda had been going out for about 6 months now, and Linda complained about her small apartment so often that they had recently started talking about her moving in, but the issue was that Phil could barely afford rent and Linda was still a full-time student. When he talked about living together, Linda said it wouldn’t make sense for her to move in when his finances were so unstable. He always assured her that it would be fine… it looked like Linda had been right. Knowing her answer, Phil insisted, “This doesn’t have to change anything. I’ll find another job. I’d still like you to move in.”

  
She shook her head. “Phil, do you even have anything in your savings right now?”

  
He bit his bottom lip before going on. “No. And actually…” He looks at the drink in his hands. He and Linda had an agreement: the person who arrives last at Starbucks picks up their drinks, and usually that was Linda. Since she was his girlfriend, he always handed her the cash for their drinks and whatever pastries they got while on their lunch date. Phil looked up, trying to be brave. “Actually, I don’t really have the money for even this. Could you please?”

  
Linda had been sipping her ice tea, but at his words she choked. Waving away his concern, she said, “Y-you’ve got to be kidding me!”

  
He blushed again. He remembered what she said earlier about sticking up for himself, and he wanted to remind her about how he paid to repair her car last month, about the concert tickets he’d bought her, and the restaurants he’d taken her to when he’d have been happy with pizza. Phil wasn’t bad with money, and he had enough to get by before he met Linda, but he stopped himself from saying this. He didn’t want to fight with her – he wanted her to make him feel better, so he said, “I’m really sorry.”

  
She gave her loudest sigh yet and shook her head. “I just don’t see how this is… I don’t see how we are…”

  
“What?” He asked. “What about us?”

“Phil, what happens next? With us? You’re seriously still talking about having a place together, but I’m picturing the next couple weeks. What if you can’t find another job? What do we do next?”

  
He shrugged. “Well, we won’t be able to go out to eat. I don’t want you to worry about me – I’ve lived off ramen noodles before. It’s going to be okay, Linda. As long as we have each other, I know it will be fine.”

  
“No.”

  
“What?”

  
She shook her head. “No, we won’t have each other. Phil, I can’t do this anymore.”

  
He spoke slowly, trying to process the situation. “You’re leaving me… because I’m broke?”

  
They stared at each other, and Phil thought that they must both be thinking about the same thing: how all she had to do was point at something at a shop window, and he would always buy it for her. She didn’t ask, but he would offer and she would accept. If love could be bought, that was what he had been desperately trying to do throughout their relationship, and she had been letting him try. This time, her cheeks were the ones that filled with a blush. “Are you calling me a whore who only was interested in your money?”

  
He just blinked.

  
“Fuck you,” she snapped, and before he saw her move he was hit in the face with her ice tea.

  
Phil spluttered in surprise as he tried to look at her, but the lenses of his glasses were wet and he could only tell that she had stood and was gathering her purse. “Linda, wait. I want to talk.”

  
“No. Maybe we’ll talk when you have you’re shit together, but until then leave me alone.” Before he could say anything else, he heard the bell on the door and he knew that she left.

 

He tried to clean his glasses with the napkins on the table, but the sugary tea was leaving a residue on the lenses. As Phil was debating going to the bathroom to clean his glasses, he heard a boom of thunder that was so loud it caused the glass in the window beside him to resonate with it. Looking out the window at the darkening view, he said under his breath, “Shi…ine a light.” After all, he’d caused enough trouble by swearing today.

  
Deciding to run for it before the rain started, Phil left the Starbucks after giving the busboy a quick apology for the mess that he and Linda made of the booth with the ice tea. Phil didn’t drive a car, so he would have to run the five blocks to his apartment.

  
He only made it three blocks before it started raining heavily. It was cold, and he had already been shivering from the ice tea that was soaking his t-shirt and pants. He was wearing a jacket, but it was thin and did not retain much warmth. Since his face was soaked, he didn’t realize he was crying until his chest started hitching with sobs. Phil looked around until he spotted a patch of dry pavement, which was under the awning of a restaurant that closed last month. They had taken their outdoor dining tables and chairs with them when they closed, so Phil slid to the ground and shivered, hoping that the rain would stop soon.

  
He wondered where Linda was now; probably warm at home since she had a car. He thought about what she said, how he should contact her once he had his life together, but Phil pushed the idea from his head. Today had been awful, and Linda didn’t help, so he wasn’t sure that he wanted her back, even if he did find a job and became financially stable like she wanted. He wanted warmth right now, and not just the lack of physical warmth that was making him tremble. He wanted someone to hold him, tell him that the awful things that happened today had happened for a reason, and that tomorrow would be better because he was a good person and he hadn’t done anything to deserve to feel like this.

  
“W-wow,” he said to himself, stuttering in the cold. He was hugging his knees to his chest as he tried to stop shaking. “I-I don’t miss Linda because wasn’t nice… and I’m comparing her to my mum. I-I should call… myself Oedipus.” Phil looked up. He liked making people laugh, and he forgot for a moment that he was alone and that no one was there to laugh at his stupid joke, but when he looked to his right he saw a boy sitting nearby. He hadn’t been there a moment ago. “Holy s—”

  
The boy, who had been smiling at him, flinched at Phil’s shocked exclamation. He looked skittish and like he wanted to run, but he let Phil take in his appearance. Phil noticed first that this wasn’t an ordinary boy, and for a moment he was tempted to wipe his rain-streaked glasses to see if he was seeing correctly, but no. His vision was fine. The boy had a long brown tail that was wrapped around his ankles – he was sitting with his knees pulled to his chest like Phil – and he had pointed brown cat ears that were prominently on display on his head, since his brown hair was sopping wet. Though Phil had never seen a Neko in real life, he knew this boy had to be one. They were very rare and he never expected to see one randomly in the street.

  
Nekos didn’t have the same rights as ordinary people, and as far as Phil knew all Nekos had owners or people who looked after them. Phil blinked for a moment at the Neko, expecting a person to materialize in a moment and claim him, but there was no one else around and the Neko just blinked solemnly back at him. Phil noticed a few more things during this silent exchange: the boy was young – a teenager maybe – and he was soaking wet. He had obviously been in the rain longer than Phil and his wet t-shirt was clinging to his thin frame.

  
Phil shifted to take off his damp jacket, and the Neko flinched again, and this time he seemed like he might run. His ears went flat against his head. “No, wait!” Phil said, extending the jacket. “Here, I just wanted to give you this.”

  
The Neko did not move to take it, and Phil wondered if he didn’t understand. He barely knew anything about Nekos, but he was pretty sure they could talk and understand speech. Then, he saw something in the boy’s chocolate-brown eyes. He was intelligent and he understood Phil, but he was suspicious.  
Phil extended the jacket further. “Please, take it. You’ll be helping me if you do. My mum told me that good things happen to people who do good things. I could use some good things about now, so you have to let me do this good deed.”

  
A slight smile returned to the Neko’s lips, and he accepted the jacket. He pulled it on and zipped it up to his chin, though he continued to shiver. His ears, which had been pushed back, shifted slightly forward. Then he closed his eyes, sagging against the wall and looking exhausted.

  
Phil looked at the sky to see that the rain was slowing and he was tempted to start walking home again, but he looked back to the Neko. “Hey, are you lost?” When the Neko just opened his eyes to blink at him, he asked, “Do you need help?”

  
Instead of answering, the boy shut his eyes again and he ignored Phil.

  
Phil frowned, unsure. He would like to help by offering more than a jacket, but he couldn’t force the boy to go with him. With a sigh, he got up, and the sound of his shoes on the pavement startled the Neko who suddenly looked very small as he huddled on the ground, trying to warm himself. “The rain is slowing down,” Phil said lamely with a gesture. “I’m… just going to go home now.”

  
The Neko continued to stare at him, but something had shifted in his eyes. He didn’t look so indifferent anymore; he looked scared. Phil got the feeling that the boy didn’t want to be alone.

  
Phil didn’t want to be alone, either. “I don’t live far from here. I hate the idea of going inside out of the rain and leaving you out here… I have food if you’re hungry.”

  
The Neko didn’t respond, but he looked pensive as he rubbed the fabric at the cuff of Phil’s jacket between his fingertips. His ears swiveled and twitched. There was no sound but the pattering of the rain on the pavement.

Finally, Phil looked away. He was shivering so badly without his jacket and he just wanted to get warm. Without continuing the one-sided conversation, he turned and started for home. He hadn’t gone a block when he turned at the sound of footsteps behind him and he saw that he was being followed by the hunched form of the Neko boy, and Phil smiled at him.

  
Continuing home, Phil worried that it was a bit dangerous to invite a stranger into his house, but then he pushed the thought away. This wasn’t the same as inviting a person in, since the boy wasn’t completely human. No, this was more like being followed home by a stray cat, and that wasn’t so scary.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil and the Neko entered the apartment building and walked up the stairs in a comfortable silence, but once he unlocked his door and they went into his home, the silence became a bit more oppressive.

  
The boy was the first to move, taking off the borrowed jacket and hanging it on the hook beside the door so it could dry. Phil smiled at the boy and gestured to the kitchen, where their dripping clothes wouldn’t ruin the tile floor. “If you'll wait in there, I’ll get some towels.”

  
They parted in the hallway, and Phil retrieved two large, fluffy towels from his linen closet. When he returned to the kitchen, he found the Neko staring at an overripe banana that Phil left on the table, meaning to throw it away, and the Neko was practically drooling.

  
“Wow, you really must be hungry.”

  
The boy blinked in surprise at Phil’s reappearance and at the towel Phil tossed him, but he caught it. The Neko continued to sit at the kitchen table while he dried himself, but Phil leaned against the kitchen countertop, preferring to stand while he thought. They both rubbed the towels roughly across their arms to get the blood flowing, and as the Neko dried his ears and then hair, Phil realized that the wet waves were going to dry as curls, which probably looked rather cute.

  
Phil finished with his towel first, since the Neko needed to dry his tail next. While he did, Phil turned to his kitchen cupboards, which he knew were nearly empty. “Hey, I promised you food, but I don’t know what you like to eat.”

  
For some reason, Phil had hoped that the warmth and safety of his kitchen would encourage the boy to start talking, but when he turned around he’s met with the same silence that was becoming familiar. Could he be mute? At least the Neko was looking less miserable.

  
Phil bit his bottom lip as he thought, and he finally decided to think out loud since he was unlikely to get a response. “I don’t know if I said, but I have never met a Neko before, and I don’t know what you guys eat.”

  
The Neko was now looking at him with interest as he rubbed the towel over the damp fur of his tail. His ears were upright and pointed forward.

  
“So,” Phil said. “Would it be insulting if I made you a tuna fish sandwich, or would you like it?”

  
The Neko burst with sudden laughter, and the sound warmed Phil to his core. Phil decided to make him a saucer of milk, just to hear the sound again. He made himself a sandwich too, since this was about the time he’d normally be having dinner. They ate in comfortable silence, though after hearing him laugh Phil was pretty sure that the Neko could talk but he just didn’t want to now. Phil decided not to press the issue, and he relaxed, enjoying the boy’s company. He could tell that the boy was hungry as he finished half the sandwich in the time it took Phil to take a couple bites of his.

  
Once they had both finished dinner, Phil asked the boy, “Do you have anywhere to go tonight? Maybe there is someone you could call if I let you use my phone?”

  
Phil hadn’t expected a response. Up until now, the Neko had just stared at him and barely indicated that he understood a word Phil was saying, but this time he shook his head.

  
“Do you want to spend the night here?” Phil asked, and the Neko’s eyes widened looked afraid, but Phil wasn’t sure why. They were still wearing wet clothes, and shivering slightly, so Phil decided to offer more incentive. “I have some spare pjs I can lend you and my couch is pretty comfortable.”

  
The boy relaxed and accepted the offer with a nod and a slight smile. Phil left the Neko in his bathroom with a blue flannel pj set, and by the time he returned Phil had brought a pillow and a duvet to the couch. The Neko slumped onto the couch, looking exhausted and his ears were drooping. His hair was completely dry now and was a wild mess of curls that made Phil want to try to tame it with a brush; he looked so young like this.

As he closed his brown eyes, Phil noticed something around his neck – it’s a black collar with a silver tag hanging from it. There’s something written on the tag, but Phil would have to lean closer to read it, and he didn’t want to startle the Neko by getting so close. He cleared his throat to make the boy reopen his eyes. “I’m going to go to my room now. Good night.”

  
The Neko nodded and as Phil left the room he burrowed under the duvet. Phil shut his bedroom door, but he didn’t turn off his light, as this was much earlier then he usually went to bed, but he didn’t want to keep the tired boy awake with the noise of the TV in the living room. Instead, he turned on his laptop and pulled up Google. He typed “Neko” into the search field.

  
The first results didn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know: Nekos were cat-human hybrids with ears and tails. There was a lot of social discrimination against them and laws that prevented them from getting jobs and owning property – instead, Nekos were the ones who were owned.

  
He saw a website that seemed to offer advice to Neko owners. He didn’t own the boy in his living room, but there might be something useful here, so he clicked on it. There was an article on the website called ‘My First Neko’, and he started reading.

 _Congratulations on your purchase! As you get to know your new Neko friend, there are some things that you should understand about them._  
_Personality: As a species, Nekos tend to have the following very common positive personality traits – they are sweet, caring, playful, and loyal. There are also some_ _negative personality traits common to Nekos, such as laziness, short attention spans, and gluttony. Also, they are helpless and dependent on their owners for all needs._

  
_Needs:_  
_• Food: First, your Neko will need food. The average healthy Neko can follow the same diet as their owner, so just make your Neko a serving of whatever you are eating, and they should be happy._  
_• Clothes: Your Neko will need clothes to keep warm. While they can wear pants with their tail tucked into a pantleg, most Nekos are more comfortable with a hole cut in the pants to accommodate their tails._  
• _Heat: This is a monthly healthcare concern for adult Nekos, as they can become ill if not properly cared for during a heat. A physician can prescribe heat suppressants to diminish the affects of the heat, though this is costly. A cheaper alternative that most owners prefer is to handle their Neko’s heat by themselves._  
_• Toys: Remember that your Neko can become bored easily, so use toys to keep them entertained. From the innocent to the wicked, we have it all! Click [ here!] to view our online store_  
  
Grimacing in disgust, Phil clicked away from the website. While Phil didn’t like the way that the article referred to Nekos like they were inferior creatures, he was sickened by the abruptly sexual content of the article. It wasn’t really like that for Nekos, was it? They weren’t looked at as sex toys. Were they?

  
Of course, he’d heard of their reputation. While Phil had never met a Neko in real life before today, the little he’d seen of them had been in movies and on TV. Sometimes it wasn’t a real Neko and it was just an actor with ears and a tail pinned on, but the role was always the same: sex worker. They were portrayed as strippers, prostitutes, escorts, porn stars, and they always met violent ends.

  
Phil shook his head because this had to be a stereotype. The Neko sleeping on his sofa was just a kid, and Phil couldn’t imagine him going through some of the situations he’d witnessed on _Law and Order: SVU_. He cleared the search field on Google and typed ‘why do people buy Nekos’. The results weren’t very helpful since it seemed like not many articles had been written on this topic besides the vague few that claimed Nekos were for companionship. It seemed more likely that it’s an open secret – everyone knew what Nekos were used for, and no one wanted to discuss it.

  
Before he could click away, he saw that as he scrolled down his results yielded something different: not why do people buy Nekos, but where do people buy them. Phil already had one more Neko on his hands than he knew what to do with, but the name of one website sounded promising: ‘Neko House’. It was located in London not too far from where Phil lived, so he investigated further on their website.

  
As he was about to click on the listings for Nekos on the website out of curiosity, he saw another option for ‘sell’. He clicked it. There was contact information stating that Neko House would buy healthy Nekos, no questions asked. The standard offering price for Nekos was also listed, and the number of zeros in the offer made Phil gape. That had to be a typo. They couldn’t actually be worth that much. £10,000. That was 5 months of rent for Phil.

  
At the same time though, how could anyone put a price on a living creature? The idea made Phil shut his laptop, not wanting to see any more. He had just wanted to find someplace safe for the boy because tomorrow the boy would be back on the streets if Phil didn’t do something. A place called Neko House sounded so perfect in name, but would the boy be safe if he gave him to them? And what about the money? He could use it to live comfortably while he looked for a new job, but how could he spend it, knowing that the Neko he had sold might be used as a…

  
He couldn’t think about that anymore, so he placed his laptop on the floor beside his bed and he turned off his light, leaving his problems for another day.


	3. Chapter 3

Phil woke to the most wonderful scent in the world: pancakes. It took him a moment to realize who must be in his kitchen, cooking those pancakes. Phil leapt from his bed, put on his glasses, and dashed into his kitchen.

  
The sight of him in the doorway, shocked and slightly out of breath, was apparently amusing based on the look that the Neko gave him. His ears were pointed forward, and Phil thought that might mean he was happy.

Phil returned the Neko’s smile and said, “Hello, you.”

  
The Neko broke eye contact, but said, “Hello.” As the boy returned his attention to the stove, Phil stared at his back. He was dressed in the black t-shirt and jeans that he was wearing last night, which appear to be mostly dry now, and his tail was twitching jovially at the tip.

  
Phil decided to help with breakfast by setting the table, and as he did so he said, “So… you’re talking today?”

  
The boy glanced over his shoulder with an apologetic smile. “Yeah, hope you didn’t think I was being rude yesterday. You were really nice and I’m sorry if you thought I didn’t appreciate it, just because I wouldn’t say anything. Thank you.”

  
“No worries and you’re welcome. I didn’t think you were ungrateful, just tired.” Phil eyed the set tabletop until he decided what was missing – coffee. He returned to the cupboard and retrieved two mugs.

  
“I was tired. Thanks for understanding. I… didn’t want to talk about what happened, and I felt like if I said anything to you it would all come out.”

  
Phil glanced curiously at the Neko, but he’d turned away and Phil decided not to press him any further on this sensitive subject. “Hey, how do you take your coffee?”

  
The boy turned around, saw the mugs, and shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never had coffee before. Could I try it the way you like it?”

  
“Okay, you’ll have it with a half-ton of sugar then.” Phil was pleased when this earned a breathy laugh from the Neko. It was only the third time he’d heard the Neko laugh, but he was quickly becoming addicted to the sound. It reminded him of a line from a book, which went something like, _His laughter struck a tuning fork on my soul_. Phil had never truly understood the meaning of that sentence until now.

  
He finished making the coffee – instant coffee, Phil’s favorite – at the same time as the Neko finished with the pancakes, and they brought them to the kitchen table. As the Neko was leaning over the table, Phil reached out and grasped the silver tag that was hanging away from his chest. The Neko stiffened, his ears pushed back, and his eyes widened, but he didn’t pull away as Phil read the tag on his collar. It only said one thing, which Phil read aloud, “‘Daniel’. Is that your name?”

  
The boy nodded, and the silver tag returned to rest against his chest as Phil let go. The boy settled into his seat. “I go by Dan, though.”

  
“Nice to meet you, Dan. I’m Phil. I’d shake your hand, but…” he displayed his hand, which was sticky with syrup thanks to the leaking bottle.

  
Dan didn’t look at Phil’s hand, seeming distracted as he touched the collar around his neck. “I hate this thing. I always have trouble sleeping in it because it’s so tight. I want it off.”

  
“Oh. Isn’t there a clasp you can undo?”

  
“No,” Dan said, touching part of the collar that was out of Phil’s view. “There’s a lock built into the band, and I don’t have the key.”

  
Phil examined the leather collar before making up his mind and getting up to retrieve scissors from a drawer. He approached Dan. “Here, tilt your head and I’ll cut it off.”

  
Dan only hesitated for a moment before shifting to reveal a long stretch of neck, which was specked with the occasional freckle. Phil saw the lock on the collar, as well as a ring that must be meant for a leash. He really wanted to destroy the awful thing for Dan, but as he slipped the scissors between the black leather and Dan’s skin he heard the boy wheeze in a breath.

  
Phil realized how tight the collar must be on Dan’s throat. “Are you okay? Should I stop?”

  
“No, keep going,” he whispered.

  
It took a minute to carefully work the scissors through the leather, but finally it parted and fell into Dan’s lap. The boy rubbed at his throat, which had abrasions where the leather had been irritating his skin for a while.

  
Phil returned to his seat. He really wasn’t feeling hungry anymore, but Dan had made this breakfast for him, so he took a bite. He looked up to see Dan give him a sad smile.

“Thanks again. For everything,” the Neko said in a soft voice.

  
“You’re welcome.” Phil sipped his coffee. He still had so many questions, so he settled on one that Dan might be willing to answer. “Can I ask how old you are?”

  
“I just turned 18,” Dan answered. He seemed wary of Phil’s interest, but also like he wanted to do something to repay Phil, even if all he could do was indulge his curiosity.

  
Phil nodded at the answer. Sometimes Dan looked younger, and then Phil realized that this was whenever Dan closed his eyes, which looked much too old for his age. Phil offered, “I’m not that much older than you. I’m 22.”

  
Dan seemed to relax further at that fact and his ears pointed forward; he was starting to look like he felt safe in Phil’s home. He looked down at his plate and poked his pancakes with his fork. “Can I ask you something?”

  
After Phil swallowed a bit of pancakes, he said, “Sure. What is it”

  
Dan looked up. “What happened to your eye? Did someone hurt you?”

  
“Oh, this,” he resisted the urge to rub it again, knowing the bruise had set by now. He meant to put ice on it when he got home, but he forgot. “This happened at my job, or what used to be my job.”

As they finished breakfast, Phil jumped into a detailed explanation of last night, while Dan listened intently with upright ears. Phil had meant to stop after explaining his black eye, but the interest on the boy’s face made him want to keep going, so Phil told him about meeting Linda in Starbucks and how he ended up in the rain where he met Dan. “So, that’s how my day went. What about yours?”

  
Phil had expected the boy to open up as well, but Dan stiffened in response, his ears swiveling. “I… don’t want to talk about it.”

  
“I’m sorry, I don’t want to force you to talk, but I am just trying to plan our next move.”

  
Dan eyed him skeptically, repeating, “Our next move?”

  
Phil wondered if he crossed a line or assumed too much, so he said, “Well, you don’t have anywhere to go, do you? And I want to help, but I don’t know how.”

  
“No, I don’t have anywhere to go. Why would you want to help me, though?” Dan asked.

  
“Why wouldn’t I? You’re nice. You made me pancakes.”

  
Dan grinned widely, and a dimple popped in his cheek. “Thank you, Phil. I promise I won’t get in your way or anything. It’ll be like I’m not here.”

  
He gaped, realizing what Dan was saying: the Neko had misunderstood and he believed that Phil had just invited him to live here.

  
Dan read Phil’s expression and his ears drooped. “Oh… you were talking about something else.”

  
“Don’t be sad. I was talking about finding some place safe for you, like a shelter or maybe a family who would love for you to live with them. You can stay here until then of course. It’s just that… I’m kind of broke. You might have noticed I’ve barely got any food in my kitchen. I have just enough money to buy us some instant noodles for a while, but after that, well… I just really need to find a job before then, or we’ll both be on the streets.”

  
Dan’s eyes widened with understanding. “Oh, so it’s not that you don’t like me. Phil, I’ve gone hungry before. Really, don’t worry about that.”

  
“Of course I like you. Sorry, I just need to sort my life out right now.”

  
Dan waved his hands before Phil could continue. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sorry I’m so stupid – you just met me, of course no sane person would be inviting a stranger to live with him. You’ve already gone above and beyond. Seriously, if you meant what you said when you handed me your jacket last night, you’ve got a boatload of good things coming your way.”

  
Phil smiled. “I meant it. I believe in things like that, luck and superstitions and all that good stuff.”

  
The Neko arched a quizzical eyebrow, and Phil understood that he was a skeptic. He looked to the dirty dishes. “Well, while I am here I’m going to repay you by doing chores like washing up.”

  
“It’s okay, really. I’ve got a dishwasher. Just pop them in and we’ll run it later.” Phil showed Dan the dishwasher, which didn’t have a full load in it yet, so they didn’t turn it on after adding their dirty dishes.

  
“Phil, could I ask you for another favor?” Dan looked slightly embarrassed, and Phil noticed that a patch of skin by his jaw became slightly rosy as he started to blush.

  
This distracted Phil so much that he didn’t answer right away, which didn’t do anything to help with Dan’s awkwardness. “Huh? Sorry, what is it?”

  
“I was just hoping I could use your shower… please, I know it’s weird since you barely know me, but I really—”

  
“Dan, stop,” Phil said with a laugh. “It’s not weird and of course you can use my shower. Oh! Let me just brush my teeth first. We only have one bathroom.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter ended abruptly, but some things start happening next, and I felt it was best to leave it there (thanks for sticking with me through the set up and character introduction, action is coming soon).  
> In case you were curious, the line from the book that I have Phil reference is from "The Iron Druid Chronicles" by Kevin Hearne, which I highly recommend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to trigger anyone, so I just wanted to warn that abuse is implied in this chapter (I don't go into detail)

They walked to the bathroom, and Dan waited in the hallway while Phil brushed his teeth. As Phil was putting away his toothbrush, he realized that Dan didn’t have one, but luckily Phil had a spare. He handed Dan an unopened toothbrush and Dan beamed at him. “Thanks.”  
  
“No problem.” Phil left the bathroom, heading to his bedroom to get dressed since he was still wearing his pjs. He heard the bathroom door shut behind him and the water being turned on. Before he could walk into his bedroom, he realized something else that Dan didn’t have: clean clothes. Phil walked back to the bathroom door and knocked loudly to be heard over the running water.

“Yes?”

Phil turned the knob and pushed open the door. “Hey Dan, I just realized that—”

He stopped talking as he realized that Dan had already taken off his shirt and jeans. He was standing there in only a pair of boxer briefs, which were riding low. Phil stared at him, but not in appreciation of his body – all he could see were the bruises on his body, in particular a matching set of bruises on Dan’s hips which look like they must have been made by hands that held him roughly.

Dan’s face flushed and he grabbed a towel to hide his body. “What is it?”

“I… came to ask you if you wanted some clean clothes. We look like we wear about the same size, so you could borrow mine. But Dan, are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?”

“No. Could you get out please?” He refused to meet Phil’s eyes.

Phil didn’t argue, and he shut the bathroom door. He returned to his room and sat on his bed, shaking slightly as he couldn’t get the image of those bruised handprints out of his mind. His phone, which was sitting on his night table, buzzed. Hoping for a distraction, he checked it and saw his brother had sent him a text.

Martyn wrote, _Hey, are you up? Haven’t seen you in a while. Do you want to catch up today after you get off work?_

Phil sent a response, _I don’t have work today. I got fired last night._

He put his phone down then because the conversation with his brother wasn’t distracting him from what he had seen. Someone had hurt Dan. And the places where the bruises were – did that mean what he thought it meant? Phil wanted to help him, but he wasn’t sure what to do. It seemed he had already messed up by staring at Dan until he kicked him out of the bathroom.

Finally, Phil decided to get dressed since sitting around in his pjs wasn’t helping anything. He picked one of his brightest t-shirts since he always felt better for some reason when he was wearing bright clothes. Phil returned to the hallway. He was tempted to stand by the bathroom door because he wanted to apologize to Dan for his behavior as soon as possible, but he knew that would be creepy. Phil went into the lounge and turned on the TV. A cooking show was on the current channel, and it wasn’t interesting, but he didn’t change the channel. He stared blankly at it, waiting for Dan and trying to decide what to say.

What if Dan felt that Phil had invaded his privacy too much and he left? What if after he left he got hurt again? Phil had to convince him to stay. He was startled from his thoughts some time later by a knock on the door. He had no idea who it could be, so he peered through the peep hole and was shocked to see his brother on the other side of the door. As he opened the door, he said, “What the heck are you doing here?”

Martyn snorted. “Good morning to you, too.”

Phil stood to the side so that Martyn could enter his apartment. “Sorry. Morning.”

Martyn was carrying a six-pack of beer, which he carried to the kitchen and placed on the counter. “When you told me you were fired, I sent you like a dozen texts and I called you. I got worried. I thought you might be wasted, so I grabbed some beer from my fridge and I came to check on you and join the party.”

“Oh, sorry, no party. I didn’t mean to worry you. I left my phone on vibrate in the other room.” Phil hadn’t realized how much time had passed since he was texting Martyn. Martyn lived 15 minutes away, so did that mean Dan had been in the shower for 30 minutes? 45? He wanted to go check on the Neko. Or would that make things worse?

Martyn pulled a beer from the six-pack. “Well, did you want to start a party? I know you hated that job. Getting fired sucks, but at least you didn’t like working there, so maybe that’s your silver lining.” Martyn’s use of their mum’s favorite phrase distracted Phil from his concerns about the Neko, and Phil gave him a smile. He accepted the beer that his brother offered him and cracked open the can. After they both had a sip, Martyn asked. “So, do you want to tell me what—” Martyn’s eyes bugged out of his head as he looked at the kitchen doorway.

Dan walked into the room without looking at Phil, and it seemed like his eyes were purposely averted to avoid eye contact. He was wearing a towel wrapped around his head and another hitched high up on his hips to cover most of the bruises. Phil took the opportunity to check Dan over for more injuries, and he saw another bruise on Dan’s bicep and some on his ribs. He also couldn’t help noticing how lovely Dan looked, but given what had most likely happened to the boy, Phil felt angry with himself for noticing.

Still without looking into the room, Dan said, “Phil, I think I’ll accept that offer of some clean clothes.”

Martyn made a sound in his throat, and Dan finally looked up. His eyes widened, and Phil noticed they were a bit red. He wondered if Dan had been crying in the shower. Phil then realized that both of the other men were now staring at him. Martyn seemed to be waiting on an introduction, but Dan looked like he was trying to figure out how to run away without being rude, so Phil spoke only to him. “Sure, you can go in my room and take anything you want from my dresser. I’ve even got an unopened pack of underwear in the top drawer if you want some.”

“Thanks,” Dan said, turning to leave.

Martyn gasped, making Dan look over his shoulder. Martyn said, “Sorry, man. I just noticed… the tail.”

The tip of Dan’s tail, which was visible under the towel, twitched. He left without further comment. A moment later they heard the door of Phil’s bedroom open and then shut. Phil closed his eyes and leaned against the kitchen counter, exhausted at the thought of explaining this all to his brother. He wanted to be alone with Dan so that they could get over the awkwardness of what he’d seen because then they could talk about the real issues. Who had hurt him? Was he okay? What could Phil do to help?

Martyn coughed to get Phil to open his eyes. He was sitting at the kitchen table now, rolling his beer between his palms. “Um, Phil… what’s going on? Where is Linda?”

“Dunno where she is,” Phil said. He joined Martyn at the table and took a sip of his beer. It was getting warm now and he grimaced, pushing the can away. He’d only accepted the beer to be polite and he didn’t really want to get buzzed this early in the day. “Linda broke up with me last night.”

Martyn glanced at the door that Dan left through. “Did it have something to do with…?” 

“No! I met Dan after. Linda broke up with me when I told her I lost my job.”

“Oh,” his brother said with sympathy. “Well, at least you have him.”

Phil felt like groaning in exasperation, but he tried to explain it calmly, “I don’t _have him_. It’s not like that. I just met him and I’m trying to help him out.”

“Oh, okay. He looks like he needs it, what with those marks.” Martyn’s eyes shifted to Phil’s face, and he knew that Martyn was looking at his eye.

“This didn’t happen at the same time. I got the black eye at work right before I was fired. I don’t know yet who did that to Dan.” Phil bit his bottom lip and decided to ask Martyn something, because he had never outgrown that little brother phase in which he believed his big brother to be knowledgeable in all things. “Mar, what do you know about Nekos?”

Martyn shrugged. “Not much. I’ve only met a couple of them.”

Phil’s eyes widened. “Really? Where? I’d never met one before Dan.”

Martyn blushed and looked away. “At a stag party for a friend. We went to a strip club and some of the girls there were Nekos. They hung out at our table for a while, but we didn’t really talk about anything, so I don’t know that I can tell you anything useful.”

“No, that is kind of useful. I’m trying to figure out what it’s like for them, out there in the world, and the stripper thing kind of fits into the picture I’m getting. And it’s not a good picture. I want to help Dan get somewhere safe, and I don’t know…”

Martyn shrugged. “What if he wants to be a stripper? They make a good living.”

“I don’t know, Mar. I guess it’s a possibility, but…” Phil started to mention the bruises and what he suspects happened to Dan, but he stopped himself. “But is that all they’re allowed to do? Aren’t there normal jobs for Nekos?”

Martyn rubbed his chin. “I honestly don’t know. Maybe minimum wage? Education will probably be an issue. I’m pretty sure that schools don’t accept them, not even primary school. There was a story on the news a few years ago about a Neko who managed to attend an online university and was arrested for fraud when she tried to use her degree to get a job.”

“That’s awful,” Phil said with a sigh. He decided that he was getting ahead of himself, since he didn’t even know if Dan wanted to get a job. “We’ll figure something out. I’m letting Dan stay here until we can get it sorted out.”

“I shouldn’t be surprised. It’s all very you. Sounds like you had the worst day yesterday, and you didn’t wait a moment before finding someone to help. You’re always happiest when you have someone to help.” Martyn smiled. “Hey, let me know if there’s anything you guys need. I’d like to help, too.”

Phil returned the smile. “Thanks, Mar. You’re the best.”

Martyn took another sip of his beer and he glanced at the door. “Do you want me to leave so that you guys can try to work on things?”

Phil shook his head. He had wanted to talk to Dan, but he still hadn’t decided what to say. Also, he really had missed his brother and he was enjoying the company. “No, stick around for a while if you can. Want to play Mario Kart?”

Martyn smiled. “Sure.”

They go to the living room, where Phil had left the TV tuned into the cooking show. Phil was surprised to see Dan there since he hadn’t heard him leave the bedroom. Dan was wearing one of Phil’s darker t-shirts that had bats on it, but he was still wearing his own jeans, probably because he didn’t ask Phil if it was okay to cut a hole in borrowed jeans to accommodate his tail.

The Neko’s ears swiveled when they entered the room; he had removed the towel. Then his ears started twitching nervously when he caught Martyn staring at them, which only made Martyn’s stare intensify. Phil let out a startled laugh at the sight, and then he covered his mouth when Dan’s cheeks got that rosy patch again. “Sorry, Dan. I wasn’t really laughing at you. I like your ears.”    

Dan’s face flushed fully at this, but he said, “Thanks.”

Phil removed his hands from his mouth. “Hey, Dan. My brother and I were going to play Mario Kart. Did you want to join us?”

He glanced at Martyn. “Your brother?”

“Oh!” Phil shouted before belatedly jumping into introductions. They settled onto the sofa after that and the awkward tension started to leave the room. “Sorry, so, did you want to join us at Mario Kart?”

“Sure, I’d love to. Thanks.” Dan looked away, seeming unsure about something. “I just have one question, though.”

“Yeah?”

“What’s Mario Kart?”

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve never actually played Mario Kart before, so I Googled some things about it in order to write this chapter. I apologize for any inaccuracies, please forgive me ;)
> 
> I am so excited for the next chapter I will be posting, it's my favorite so far and I can't wait to share

“It’s a video game,” Phil responded after gaping at Dan for a moment. He couldn’t imagine his own life without videogames. “Have you ever played anything before? Any kind of videogame?”

Dan shook his head. “No, never. I’ve heard of them and I’ve always been curious, but I’ve never gotten the chance to try them before. I’m a quick learner, though. Would you mind showing me?”

“Of course we’ll show you,” Phil said, as Martyn was nodding his eagerness to help, too. Phil turned on his game console, grabbed three controllers, and he and Martyn explained the controls to Dan. They moved onto character selection, and Phil announced, “I’m going to be Tanooki Mario.”

“Yeah,” Martyn snorted as he picked Luigi. “Because you’re secretly a furry.”

“What’s a furry?” Dan asked.

Martyn’s body vibrated with suppressed laughter, making Phil’s face get hot.

“He’s joking,” Phil insisted, trying not to look at Dan’s ears. “I’m not really. Please don’t make me explain what that word means.”

“Okay,” Dan relented, returning his attention to the screen. He selected Yoshi. “I’m going to be this guy. So, are we playing as a team or against each other?”    

“Against each other,” Martyn answered. “We’re going to join an online race of up to 12 people.”

Dan looked slightly apprehensive, so Phil said, “Don’t worry, Martyn and I will go easy on you. We won’t use our items against you.”

Martyn looked like he was about to protest – he never even gave Phil special treatment when they played – but before he could say anything Dan’s eyes narrowed, and he said, “Don’t do that. I’m very competitive, so don’t go easy on me or I’ll make you regret it.”

“Oh really?” Phil said, enjoying this side of Dan. “I hope you do.”

To be fair to Dan as a new player, they started on the easier courses like Rainbow Road while Dan got used to the game. It turned out that Dan hadn’t been exaggerating when he said he was a quick learner because it only took a few races for him to pull out of the back of the pack.

“I was just assaulted!” Dan proclaimed when he was hit with a bomb. “What is going on? This is discrimination.”

“Oh,” Phil giggled when he glanced at Dan’s portion of the screen. “You’re in the item cluster fluff.”

“Protect me, protect me,” Dan pleaded as he swerved to avoid more items.

“I can’t! You’re too far behind me. The only thing you can do is try to get to the front where Martyn and I are.”

Dan was hit with another bomb and he shouted, “Shit fucking wank fuck!”

Phil laughed so hard at Dan’s exclamations that he drove into a wall, and Martyn got 1st place. They played for the next couple hours and lost track of time until Martyn’s phone rung.

“Shit, shit, shit, I was meeting a friend for lunch. I’m so late!” They were in the middle of a race, but Martyn abandoned his controller and got up. He jogged slightly in place, glancing between Phil and Dan. “Sorry, I don’t just want to take off. Are you guys okay? I can cancel with my friend if you need me to stay or something.”

“Are we not okay?” Dan glanced at Phil with wide eyes.

“Martyn came over when I told him I was fired because he wanted to make sure I was alright,” Phil explained. He didn’t want Dan to think that Martyn was here because Phil had seen his bruises and called for help. Phil looked at Martyn. “I’m fine. We’re fine. Thanks for hanging out, Mar. Go enjoy your lunch.”

Phil walked Martyn to the door, hugged him goodbye, and locked the door. When he returned to the lounge, he asked Dan, “You still want to play, or do you want to turn it off?”

Dan shrugged. “I’ll keep playing if you want to, but my eyes are kind of tired. I really like it, though. Thanks for showing me how to play. It’s fun.”

Phil smiled. “No problem, my eyes are a bit tired, too. We’ll do more later.” He turned off the game console while Dan rubbed his eyes. Phil bit his lip, still wanting to talk to Dan about what he saw earlier, but unsure how to start. An awkward silence settled over the apartment, and it froze Phil in place where he stood beside the TV. As Dan stopped rubbing his eyes, he realized that Phil hadn’t rejoined him on the sofa and he looked up. The rosy patch appeared on his cheek and his ears twitched.

Phil realized that he was scaring Dan, so Phil returned to the sofa with what he hoped was a reassuring smile on his face. “Dan, I…”

Dan stiffened and his ears pushed back. He looked away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m not trying to make you say anything since you’re not ready, but Dan, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” When this brought Dan’s eyes back to him, Phil went on, encouraged. “I shouldn’t have barged into the bathroom like that – I didn’t realize you had your clothes off. I’m so sorry if you feel like your privacy was invaded. I want you to feel safe here. So please, forgive me?”

Dan blinked at him. “I… yes. I forgive you. It really was an accident?”

“Yes, I just went back to offer you some clothes, like I said. Why, what did you think I was doing?” Phil grinned mischievously. “You thought I was some kind of pervert who wanted to get a look at you?”

“Something like that. Actually, a bit more than that. I thought you came into the bathroom because you wanted sex, but when you saw me with my clothes off you changed your mind because you could tell how I’d already been used.”

Phil felt his breath leave him as if he’d been punched in the chest. “No. No, no, no, that’s not what happened,” he said it softly, pleading with Dan to believe him.

He felt Dan’s eyes rake over him, absorbing the position of every muscle in his expression, the shimmer in his eyes, and his passive body posture. “You really didn’t…?”

“I’m not going to hurt you, Dan. I promise. Please trust me.”

“I don’t know how to trust,” he said in a defeated voice. “I’ve never met anyone good before, only people who wanted to hurt me. I know you’ve only helped me so far and I want to trust you, but I’m scared. I’m scared of everything all the time.”

“I understand, Dan. I do. I can see why you wouldn’t be able to trust me yet, since we only just met. But do you want to give me a chance? You’re going to stay, aren’t you? Have I scared you away?”

Dan shook his head quickly. “I’m staying. If you’ll let me.”

Phil relaxed slightly. “Good. You’re staying. So, just give me a chance, and I’ll prove that you can trust me.”

Dan nodded. Phil bit his lip. He wanted to ask Dan about what happened to him, but he didn’t want to upset him. Dan seemed to read something in his expression because he spoke before Phil could. “I still don’t want to talk about it – about what happened before you met me.”

Phil reached out and touched Dan’s bicep lightly, knowing there was a bruise underneath the fabric of his t-shirt. “All I want to know is that you’re okay.”

“Yes, I’m…” Dan stopped talking, licked his lips, and shook his head. “Actually, not really. I’m not saying I’m physically hurt, so don’t start talking about going to the hospital again.”

Phil waited patiently for the Neko to go on, as he seemed to be gathering his thoughts. His hand had left Dan’s bicep and slid down to his forearm, which he was now stroking in what he hoped was a soothing gesture.

Dan relaxed slightly as he went on, “My body isn’t hurt too badly. I mean, I’ve had worse. I’m just really stiff and my ribs hurt if I try to take a deep breath. I think that most of what is wrong with me is in my head. I’m kind of a wreck right now. Sorry.”

Phil stopped stroking Dan’s arm to give his wrist a squeeze. “It’s okay.”

Dan gave him a slight smile. “I’m not usually like this. I like to think that I’m strong. I’m not used to feeling so unstable – my emotions are all over the place right now. Like, all I can think about is what I accused you of a moment ago. I hate myself for saying that now. You’ve been so nice to me and you didn’t deserve that. I’m so sorry.”

“Dan, it’s fine.”

Dan shook his head as tears started rolling down his cheeks. Phil wasn’t sure if he pulled Dan into the hug, or if Dan leaned into him, but in the next moment Phil was holding the Neko tight against his chest while the boy sobbed. It should have felt odd, embracing someone he just met in this way. But it wasn’t odd – he felt like he had known Dan for his whole life. He already cared for the boy so much that it made Phil ache to see him like this. Phil murmured soft, inconsequential things into Dan’s hair as he rubbed his back.

After a while, Dan became limp and quiet in his arms, and Phil realized that he fell asleep. Phil put a pillow in his lap and he lowered the boy’s head onto the pillow. He used his thumb to dry Dan’s cheeks, and Dan made a soft noise, but he didn’t wake up. Phil couldn’t resist touching his ears next. He stroked the soft brown fur at the base of Dan’s ear, and he was shocked when Dan started to purr in his sleep.

He didn’t think there could be a sound lovelier than Dan’s laugh, but this purr was even better. Phil closed his eyes to better appreciate it. He was really starting to like this boy.

 


	6. Chapter 6

For a moment, he forgot where he was. His eyes were closed and he tensed, expecting to be hurt by someone at any moment now. But nothing happened. No blow fell, and Dan opened his eyes. There was bright yellow fabric about an inch from his nose and Dan could smell sugar, instant coffee, and Lynx deodorant. Phil.

Dan shifted to see his face. Phil had fallen asleep and his chin was resting on his chest. There was the slightest bit of dark stubble along his jaw and upper lip. His skin was pale, like he’d never seen the sun, and it contrasted nicely with his dark hair.

This was the face of the man who he had started to trust. There was something about the softness of his eyes and genuineness of his smile – Dan could tell that Phil had a gentle soul, and he couldn’t imagine him doing anything violent. Phil made him feel safe, but at the same time feeling safe made Dan feel unsafe – he felt like he should be alert at all times, and like if he dropped his guard for a moment then something bad would happen. Dan sighed a closed his eyes, too exhausted to be scared anymore.

He felt Phil shift beneath him, and Dan opened his eyes again. Phil blinked bleary eyes and he reached up to rub his black eye beneath his glasses but winced at the contact. The pain seemed to rouse him to full awareness.

“Ouch, don’t do that to your eye.” Dan smiled when he glanced at him. “Hello, you.”

Phil beamed at him. “Hello. Are you feeling okay?”

“Yes, thank you. Looks like I fell asleep in your lap and pinned you here. Sorry about that.”

Phil shook his head. “Don’t worry about that. I had a nice nap. What time is it?”

Dan sat up, scanning the room in search of a clock, but when he moved Phil pulled his cellphone from his pocket.

“Good, we didn’t sleep too late. I wanted to pick up some things at the store before dinnertime, or we’ll be eating tuna sandwiches for dinner again.”

“Shopping? Like in a real grocery store?”

Phil laughed. “What? You’re excited by the thought of a grocery store?”

“I’ve never picked out my own food before. I’ve always just had things brought to me. I do find the idea exciting, but I think it’s more about what it represents. Independence, you know?”

Phil’s smile faded. “Oh, Dan… you know how I mentioned that I’m broke?”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking about spending all your money. I’d be happy to just join you in the store while you buy whatever. And I know how inconvenient it is that I’m here when you can’t afford a houseguest. I’m going to find a way to repay you, I promise.”

“It’s okay.” Phil retrieved his wallet from his pocket and extracted a piece of plastic. “I have a credit card. I only use it for emergencies, and this kind of counts as one. I’ve got just enough in my bank account to pay my rent this month – I’m a week late paying it actually. Hopefully I’ll have a new job by the time my credit card bill is due.”

Dan bit his lip as he hesitated, but he asked, “Phil, can I ask you how much your rent is?”

Phil was quiet for a moment, perhaps wondering why Dan wanted to know. Dan realized that maybe his question was rude. Just as he was about to tell Phil it didn’t matter, he answered, “My rent is £2,000.”

Dan didn’t say anything as he absorbed the information. He became lost in thought.

  
*          *          *

A couple weeks ago, Dan had been told a number. He had asked for the number, even though it didn’t mean anything to him at the time. He just had to know.

“How much?” He had asked.

“What was that, boy?” Mr. Smith had asked.

Dan was pretty sure that Smith wasn’t really his last name, but whenever one of the other humans who worked at the shelter had started to address him by another name in front of the Nekos, Mr. Smith had shouted at them. Mr. Smith was different than most of the humans who dismissed the Nekos as unintelligent and lesser; he hated and feared them so much that he didn’t even want them to know his real name. He was one of the worst people who had ever looked after Dan.

Before this place, he lived in a home for Neko children where he and 20 other boys spent most of their time in the locked ward of a building that was almost like a hospital. It was an awful place to be a kid, being trapped behind windows with bars on them, and most of the kids were bored to tears, but Dan was independent and creative, so his imagination got him through the days. It wouldn’t have been so bad, but the worst part was that there was never enough food, and larger Neko bullies sometimes took what little food there was. The bullies made Dan’s life miserable, but they were nothing compared to what he endured when he came into Mr. Smith’s care.

Dan looked at the man who had controlled his life for the past 5 years. Mr. Smith had always been quick to deliver a punishment, whether by withholding food or delivering a beating, but one of the worst things he had been able to offer had always been the truth. When Dan came to live here, he had been completely naïve, and Mr. Smith had been very happy to destroy Dan’s worldview. He told Dan that he was a Neko, and he told Dan what that meant: 1) Dan hadn’t been born, he had been bred, 2) Dan had been moved from the home with the children to this shelter because he was now old enough to be sold, 3) when he was sold he would be sold to someone who would hurt him and then he would wish he was dead. No boy should have to get the sex talk from a sadist, but Dan did.

When Mr. Smith came into his room – it was more like a cell actually – to tell Dan today that he had been sold and would be leaving soon, he did it with the usual malicious joy with which he shared awful news. So, Dan hoped he wouldn’t mind offering more information. “I said how much. I want to know how much money I was sold for.”

Mr. Smith snorted. “You don’t know anything about money. You’ve never seen a pound in your whole life. Why the hell would you want to know about it?”

“I just do. I want to know how much I’m worth.”

Mr. Smith shook his head, and just when Dan thought he was going to leave, he said, “£50,000.”

“Oh.” Dan bit his lip. This man was right, though – the number didn’t mean anything to Dan. “Is it a lot?”

“Fuck off, I’m not here to teach economics.”

“Then why are you here? Go away.”

Mr. Smith gave an evil grin because they both knew why he was here: to taunt Dan. “You should know that the man who bought you was a real bastard. Evil sonofabitch. I don’t think you’ll last a year.” Dan shivered, and Mr. Smith saw it, his grin widening. “Yeah, you’re not going to last long at all.”

Dan had been sitting on the cot in his room. At these words. He turned away from the man in his room and faced the wall. Mr. Smith would hit him sometimes for doing this but eventually if Dan didn’t say anything he would go away. Mr. Smith was saying something, but Dan tuned him out, thinking about the number. £50,000. That was what he was worth to these people who had treated him like scum for his whole life.

 

  
*          *          *

“Dan?”

Dan blinked at the sound of his name.

Phil gave a nervous laugh when Dan focused on him. “You went away there for a second. Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I was just… thinking about how I don’t know anything about money.” Dan thought about £50,000 in this new context; a man could rent an apartment for over two years with that kind of money. That meant it was a decent amount of money, but the idea of it sickened him. The man who bought him could have done anything with that money, but instead he chose to use his money to buy Dan so that he could hurt him.

“Dan?” Phil said softly. “I can tell something is wrong.”

Dan gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Can I ask you something?”

Phil nodded, though he still looked worried.

“What would you do with £50,000?”

“What? Like, if I won the lotto? I know the responsible thing to do is pay off debt and save or invest the rest, but I don’t think I’d do that. Yeah, I have student loans, but I would want to spend the money on my loved ones. Get something nice for my parents and my brother. Maybe take a family vacation?”

Dan smiled. “That sounds nice. I never knew my family. Yours is lucky to have you.”

“Thanks. Really, I’m lucky to have them.” Phil bit his lip before going on. “Dan… why the sudden interest in money? And that number was pretty specific. Do you owe someone money or something? Or did you run off with a suitcase full of money?”

Dan laughed until it brought tears pricking to his eyes. Then he dramatically pulled out the pockets of his jeans to demonstrate that they were empty. “There, see? No IOU, no money, no suitcase. That number was…” He sobered before going on. “That number was how much I was worth when I was sold recently.”

Phil shook his head. “No, that is so much more than…”

Dan raised his eyebrows when Phil stopped talking.

Phil went on. “I thought Nekos were worth something like £10,000. I saw a website for a place that buys and sells Nekos, and their offer was £10,000.”

Dan shrugged. “I dunno, that’s what they sold me for. Maybe I was worth £50,000 because I was a virgin – I think they mentioned that?” Dan eyed Phil closely. “Why were you looking up the selling price for Nekos?”

Phil met his eyes, registered his suspicion, and then his jaw dropped in horror. “I swear that’s not why I was on that website. I will let you look at my browsing history from last night if you don’t believe me. I just didn’t know anything about you – like even what you like to eat, and you weren’t talking yet. So, I looked up some things last night after you went to bed and I came across that number. Please, I’m not lying.”

Dan considered it. “You’d really let me look at your browsing history? Hmm, okay… I believe you.”

Phil sagged in relief. “Thanks for believing me. I promise that you’re safe here. I’m not going to try to sell you. I find the fact that someone did that to you disgusting.”

Dan tilted his head as he looked at Phil. “I’ve never met anyone who thinks like you. You’re different.”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Phil grinned.

“It was.” They fell silent until Phil looked at the wallet that was still in his hands.

“So, are you ready to go to the store?” Phil giggled at Dan when he practically bounced in excitement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this, since it was the first chapter from Dan's perspective. I'll be returning to his perspective in the future. NOTE: I don't want to make things confusing as I go from Dan to Phil between chapters. Would it help if I noted it before each chapter, or is the shifting perspective obvious? Let me know.


	7. Chapter 7

After going to the store, Phil realized how Dan’s presence made a usually boring chore enjoyable – Phil wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else in the world but at the Neko’s side. Luckily, he didn’t have anywhere else to be at the moment.

Over the next few days, they settled into a comfortable routine. They woke up around noon each day, and whoever was awake first would make coffee for them both. They enjoyed cereal for breakfast while watching anime together. Then, Phil started looking for a job. He hadn’t had any luck yet and there had been no calls on his resume. Dan offered reassurance while he did chores around the house, and when Phil was too tired or disheartened to look at any more postings, Dan would sometimes take over, checking websites for jobs he thought Phil might like and making a list of them. 

Later, they would relax on the sofa with videogames. They had tried other games, but Mario Kart was still Dan’s favorite and he was determined to get better than Phil – and he seemed to be getting there. Martyn came over most nights for dinner. Phil hadn’t mentioned how tight money was, but his brother seemed to know, and he kept showing up at Phil’s door around dinnertime with enough takeout for three.

Phil thanked Martyn silently with his eyes while joking out loud that Martyn was just trying to get in Dan’s good graces with pizza. Dan and Martyn were becoming good friends as Martyn entertained him with embarrassing stories from Phil’s childhood. Phil would have minded, but whenever Dan laughed the sound filled Phil’s chest with warmth.

When Martyn left, they both stayed up late, watching TV until they couldn’t keep their eyes open anymore. Phil would go to bed and Dan would curl up on the sofa with a duvet. Phil had realized that the sofa was a bit too short for Dan to stretch out comfortably on it since he was so tall, but when Phil mentioned it Dan said he didn’t mind since he’d slept in worse places.

Phil wanted to offer that they share his bed, but he hadn’t thought of how to do this yet without alarming Dan, who was still a bit nervous sometimes. He would jump if Phil startled him when he was lost in thought. He would disappear to the bathroom and try to run water to cover up the sound of his crying. When Phil mentioned going to bed early one night, Dan admitted that he was having trouble sleeping because of bad dreams, and he asked Phil to stay up and watch a movie with him.

Phil wanted to make everything better for Dan, but he was learning that only time could do that. Still, he had to wonder if there was something more he could do. He hated the fact that Dan was making him happy, and Phil had nothing to offer Dan in return besides a place to sleep. And how much longer would he have that to offer? Phil had paid his rent. He now had less than a month to earn next month’s rent. If he couldn’t find a job soon, he would have to ask his parents for rent and die of shame doing it, and his parents would likely offer him his old bedroom at home before they gave him rent money for an expensive apartment in a city where he didn’t have a job. Unlike Phil, they were practical people.

If Phil had to move back home, where would Dan go? Would he want to move with Phil? Would his parents let him bring the Neko with him? Phil resolved to get a job soon so that he wouldn’t have to face these questions.

Phil spent that morning with his laptop open during breakfast, searching the job listings instead of watching anime or talking to Dan. Dan left him to it, seeming to sense that he was stressed as it had been 5 days since he had worked. Later, Phil moved to the sofa so that he could have the TV playing in the background for noise while he continued applying to jobs for the next few hours. Dan sat silently beside him during this, but eventually he went to the kitchen. Not long later, Phil smelled something that made his stomach growl, so he shut his laptop and investigated.

Dan had made tea and he was removing warm crumpets from the oven. He hadn’t noticed Phil in the doorway, and Phil watched as Dan spread strawberry jam over the crumpets, his mouth watering. Dan turned around suddenly, his ears twitching in surprise as he noticed Phil. “Oh!”

Phil giggled at catching the Neko off guard. He walked across the kitchen to admire the crumpets. They didn’t usually have anything proper for lunch, just microwaved popcorn during videogame time. “This is fancy.”

“Well, you seemed stressed. I thought this would help.”

“It does, thanks. I feel calmer already. You’re pretty great, you know that?” As Dan grinned in response, Phil noticed that there was jelly on his face on the two freckles by his dimple. Laughing, Phil reached out to wipe the jelly from Dan’s face. His fingertip lingered a bit longer than necessary on Dan’s cheek as he admired the smoothness of it. Dan seemed to be waiting for an explanation with raised eyebrows, so Phil showed him the jelly on his fingertip before popping the fingertip into his mouth to lick the jelly off. He wondered if Dan would taste as sweet.

Before he could think about what he was doing, Phil leaned forward to brush his lips against Dan’s. They were slightly chapped, but very warm. While his face was still against Dan’s, he inhaled so that he could savor the Neko’s scent as well as his taste; he smelled like mint toothpaste, Phil’s strawberry shampoo, and something musky and animal-like. He smelled good. He felt good.

Feeling his nerves dance in excitement, Phil lingered for a few seconds more before pulling away. The only reason he pulled back was because he wanted to look into the Neko’s chocolate-brown eyes to see if he was enjoying this as much as Phil. At best he hoped that Dan might reciprocate his feelings, and at worst he expected him to be angry that he’d kissed him without permission. Instead, Dan looked like he was on the verge of crying.

“What did you do that for?” he snapped.

“I… like you.” Phil said hesitantly. He had to be honest, but this wasn’t how he had wanted to make that admission.

“Why?”

Phil stared at him, knowing he should explain or at least apologize, but he froze like he sometimes did in stressful situations. None of this was going the way he had wanted. He had been stupid, and he had hurt this person who he cared about. He wanted to take back the kiss. When he didn’t respond, Dan fled the room. Phil chased after him, knowing that Dan was running for the bathroom so that he could put a locked door between them.

“Dan, wait.” Phil grabbed his wrist.

“Let me go!” He sounded so scared that Phil dropped his arm like it was on fire. He went on in a calmer voice, “Just leave me alone.”

“Dan, please, I…”

“I don’t want to talk right now,” Dan said, and he shut the bathroom door between them without looking at Phil’s face.

Phil returned to the kitchen, his hands shaking as he sat at the table. He stared at the tea that Dan placed there, which was now probably cold, and he started to silently cry. He couldn’t believe how badly he’d messed up. Of course, Dan wouldn’t want to kiss him. Dan had never hinted that he liked him, but what he had shared was that he had just gotten out of an awful situation. Phil had promised that Dan was safe here, but Phil just showed him otherwise. He felt like the worst person in the world.

Phil actually yelped in surprise when his phone buzzed in his pocket. He knew the number that was calling him, so he answered the call. Sniffling a bit, he said, “Hello?”

“Lester? That you?” It was Travis, the manager at the stationary store who had fired him five days ago.

Phil cringed, wishing he hadn’t answered. He had no idea what Travis wanted, but he didn’t feel like dealing with Travis right now. He wanted to figure out how to fix things with Dan. Phil couldn’t bring himself to hang up, though. “Yes, it’s me. Hi Travis.”

“Great. After you were let go, we had a couple no-shows. Those frat boys I hired last month, you know the ones. I haven’t had a chance to do any interviews yet. It’s mad over here. Everyone who is left is on overtime, and we still don’t have enough people.” Travis paused to let Phil absorb that. “So, I thought of you.”

Phil bit his lip before asking, “So, would this be temporary until you hire more people, or are you offering me my job back?

“It could be permanent, think of it as probation. I’m keeping what happened on your record, but if I don’t observe anymore bad behavior I’ll keep you on. Right now I don’t like the idea of hiring a whole new batch of strangers who’ll take off in a month. I appreciate that I know you – your pros and your cons. You’re reliable, and that’s what I need right now.” Travis paused again. “Unless you’ve had another offer?”

Phil winced. “No, I haven’t. When do you need me?”

“Now. As soon as you can get here, I want you on shift.”

“Now?” Phil glanced at the hallway, which led to the bathroom where Dan had locked himself.

“Yes, now. If you can’t then forget it.” The demanding tone reminded him of why he hated working for Travis. He hated that job in general; it had been sucking the life out of him for over a year.

Phil wanted to hang up on Travis. Dan should be his priority right now. Instead of getting ready for work, he should be standing outside of that bathroom door, finding the words that would make Dan open that door and forgive him. All he wanted was to hold Dan in his arms.

Then, Phil realized how selfish he was being. Dan didn’t want Phil standing outside his door. He told Phil to leave him alone. The best thing Phil could do for Dan right now was to earn some money so that he could pay the rent next month. “Okay,” he told Travis. “I’ll be there in 30 minutes.”

Phil hung up. He went to his room and changed into the khakis and polo shirt that were the uniform at the stationary store. Since he didn’t have a mirror in his bedroom, he checked his fringe in the front-facing camera of his phone.

Phil walked through the kitchen on his way to the front door. He thought about leaving a note to Dan, explaining where he went, but he decided that Dan would just be happy that he was gone and not wonder where he was. As he was unlocking the front door, Phil saw the crumpets that were still sitting on the kitchen counter, now soggy with jelly. He felt a pain in his chest that made it hard to breathe for a moment. He thought about how different today could have been if he hadn’t kissed Dan, and it broke his heart.

He left the apartment as fast as he could, wanting to be anywhere else right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am far too pleased with myself with how the first sentence and the last sentence bookend the chapter. Did anyone notice it?  
> Sorry, I am exhausted and not coherent. I post these late at night so I don't have to worry about it in the morning when I get ready for work


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: brief mentions of past abuse

After sitting on the bathroom floor with his knees tucked under his chin, Dan felt like an idiot after only a few minutes. He had started shaking in fear when Phil grabbed his arm, but the shaking slowed as Dan ran the events through his mind again and reassured himself that Phil hadn’t wanted to hurt him. Other people had hurt him; the handprints on his hips that hadn’t completely faded were constant reminders of this. Phil hadn’t hurt him, and Dan had no reason to fear him. But what about that kiss?

Dan brought himself back to that moment in his memory. He hadn’t blinked an eye when Phil licked the jelly from his face off his finger – Phil was an odd guy sometimes – but Dan had been blindsided by the kiss. He hadn’t realized that Phil was interested in him like that. He thought about pulling away, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It was actually kind of nice – warm and soft – so he stayed still for a while, experiencing Phil’s mouth moving against his. It seemed to go on for a while. It went on for too long, and his mind started to wander.

That was when things went wrong. Dan remembered other mouths that had clamped down on his, bruising, biting, demanding. Phil wasn’t doing that, but Dan panicked, picturing that happening next. Just when he was about to scream, Phil pulled away. 

Dan had been terrified at the time, but he could think rationally about it now that he was safe behind a locked door. The men who had kissed him roughly before had looked aroused when they saw Dan’s fear. When Phil saw it, he looked like he was going to be sick. Dan turned this fact over in his mind, since it seemed significant. Then Phil had said something important: he kissed Dan because he liked him.

The concept of being liked was foreign to Dan. He had never been liked by someone before, and the only time he had been kissed was by people who were preparing to hurt him. When Phil kissed him, Dan was sure that he was going to do the same. He ran from Phil, feeling the sting of betrayal. He had trusted Phil totally and completely, but Phil had turned out to be no different from the rest. All he wanted to do was use Dan’s body. Surely if Phil was bad, then there were no good people in the world.

As Dan ran these facts through his mind in retrospect, he considered the possibility that he had been wrong. Maybe Phil really hadn’t been preparing to hurt him. Dan was an idiot when it came to emotions and interpreting them, so he considered it from a logical perspective: if Phil really was a predator who invited Dan into his home to use his body, it would be unrealistic for him to wait 5 days to attack. There was that moment when he walked in on Dan wearing just his pants, and he had been cornered and vulnerable – a predator would have struck then, but Phil left and apologized later.

So, Phil didn’t want to hurt him. He just liked him. And how did Dan feel? He honestly didn’t know. He liked being around Phil, but his emotions were all over the place and he couldn’t make sense of them.

He thought about that kiss again. The first few seconds of it had been kind of nice, but then… yeah, _then._ Dan made his decision then because even if he did like Phil, nothing could ever come of it. He couldn’t kiss Phil without having terrifying flashbacks, so how could he have a relationship with him? What had happened to Dan had broken him. He couldn’t like anyone, not even Phil.  

Making a decision about a problem usually helped him to feel stable and grounded, but as he decided this Dan felt an ache in his chest. He rubbed his breastbone, but this didn’t help. He felt wetness on his cheeks, and then he realized that he was crying. He felt an overwhelming sense of loss, though it didn’t make sense to him – he hadn’t lost anything. All he had done was decide to give up the possibility of a relationship. Dan fell to pieces then, and he didn’t understand why.

  
Dan wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he woke up later, curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor with his tail tickling his nose and his stomach growling. He debated hiding for longer, but Dan wasn’t a coward – he could look Phil in the eyes and fuck it if it was awkward. He would just tell him that he only wanted to be friends. Dan left the bathroom, expecting to find Phil in the living room or maybe the kitchen. All he found were the untouched crumpets. The only place he could be was in his bedroom. Dan walked to Phil’s door, but it was open and Phil’s room was empty. Dan stood in the doorway, staring at the green and blue duvet as if Phil would materialize there any moment now.

Dan jumped when he heard a knock at the door and he felt the hairs on his tail bristle like a bottlebrush. Had Phil gone out and lost his key? Dan crept closer to the door, careful not to make any noise. He froze when the person on the other side of the door knocked again. Dan was too nervous to look through the keyhole, so he listened instead, tilting his ears. Dan’s sensitive ears picked up the sound of a cellphone dialing a number, and then a familiar voice. “Hey, Philly, where are you? It’s Mar. I’m at your door and no one is answering. I brought dinner. Where are you?”

Phil’s tinny voice came through the phone’s speaker. “Dan should be there. I’m at work. They gave me my job back and I can’t talk for too long. Martyn, where is Dan? Please find him. You can use your key to let yourself in.”

Dan didn’t wait for Phil’s brother to use his key; he opened the door, ignoring Martyn’s surprised expression as he invited him in with a wave of his arm.

“Uh, Phil, I’m in. Dan just came to the door.” Martyn said as he walked to the kitchen so that he could place a takeout bag on the kitchen table. “So, everything is fine. You can hang up now. I don’t want you to get in trouble for using your phone. Bye.”

There’s a pause and Dan could tell that Phil wanted to say something, but eventually he said, “Okay, thanks Mar. Talk to you later.”

Martyn returned his phone to his pocket and looked at Dan. “He said he got his job back? Like, at the stationary store? How did that happen?”

Dan shrugged. “I don’t know. I just realized he wasn’t here – I’d locked myself in the bathroom and when I came out he was gone.”

Martyn smirked in amusement. “You locked yourself in the bathroom? Why, what did he do?”

Dan had wanted to maintain the casual atmosphere of this conversation and Martyn was an easygoing guy, but he couldn’t talk about this with Phil’s brother. His face flushed. His mouth was too dry. He couldn’t speak when he opened his mouth.

“Oh shit,” Martyn said. “He did that? You’re kidding me.”

Dan’s blush deepened at whatever Martyn was implying. “No, he just kissed me. It… came as a bit of a shock.”

“Really? A complete shock?” Martyn grinned. “I could tell he liked you. Haven’t you seen the way he looks at you? Also, the way you guys talk to each other, it’s like you’ve known each other your whole lives. Most people can’t talk like that after less than a week.”

“I hadn’t noticed.” Dan shrugged. He looked at the takeout on the table, as if it was more interesting than this conversation. Really though, his heart was pounding to hear that Martyn believed that Phil liked him. It seemed like Dan had been wrong when he thought that Phil just wanted to use his body – he actually might like him. Dan frowned; he had no idea what he wanted.

Martyn’s smile disappeared. “So, you locked yourself in the bathroom after it happened. I take that to mean that you don’t like my brother.”

“Of course I like him. He’s my friend.”

Martyn’s frown deepened. “Well, okay. If that’s how you feel, then tell him. Be his friend. Don’t hurt my brother, please. He’s a good guy.”

“I know he is. I won’t hurt him.”

“Thanks, Dan.” Martyn grabbed the takeout bag. “Hungry?”

Dan and Martyn made polite conversation while they ate, but their acquaintance hadn’t been long enough yet for them to feel comfortable together without Phil around. Normally Martyn would stay after dinner for a movie or videogames, but when he tossed his takeout container in the trash he stretched with a groan. “I’m getting kind of tired. I might leave so that I can go to bed early.”

Dan got up from the table to walk Martyn to the door. “Thanks for dinner. Sleep well.”

“No problem. Don’t forget to put Phil’s food in the fridge so he has something to eat when he gets home.” Then Martyn shook his head and laughed at himself. “Sorry, I’m channeling my mum.” 

“You’re overprotective, but it’s endearing, don’t worry.” Dan shut the door after they gave each other a parting wave. He locked the door but didn’t put the chain across so that Phil could use his key. Then he put Phil’s dinner in the fridge, leaving the restaurant napkins on the table so that Phil would know there was food in case he was asleep when Phil got home and couldn’t tell him.

Dan needed to relax, so he went to the bathroom. He was planning on taking a shower, but by the time he turned on the water he didn’t feel like standing, so he let the bath fill. He tossed in a bath bomb that he’d seen in the linen closet, stripped off his clothes, and climbed in. His breathing evened as he inhaled the steam and his head was feeling fuzzy. He was starting to fall asleep.

Then he felt it: a tight heat curling deep in his belly. He gasped and pressed his stomach, as if that would make it stop. Of course, it didn’t. The heat seemed to be spreading, and he felt a rush of blood go south, making him groan, “No, no, no, no.”

He had only felt like this once before, and he recognized the symptoms. The first time he went through his heat when he was living at the children’s home, they had locked him in a room with some toys and let him out a few days later when he was sobbing and exhausted but no longer in heat.

The next day they moved him to the locked ward where he was placed under Mr. Smith’s care, and one of the things that Mr. Smith did was bring him pills that he said were heat suppressants. Of all the things that Mr. Smith did for him, that was the only thing he appreciated. Those three days of his first heat were some of the worst of his life – he had felt like he was dying – and the heat suppressants had prevented all of the worst symptoms. All he felt while on them was an occasional flush or feeling of tingling in his skin that let him know it would be that time of the month if he weren’t on medication.   

Dan’s breathing hitched, and he realized that he was on the verge of tears. He started shaking, but he wasn’t sure if it was the heat or the fact that he was terrified. He didn’t know how to handle what was happening to him. He felt like his body was betraying him. Dan lowered a hand to his painfully hard erection. He rubbed it, trying to get off as quickly as possible. It didn’t take long. He sagged into the tub and groaned, but there was no relief. He felt himself getting hard again already.

This was going to happen again and again, no matter how many times he rubbed himself off for the next few days. The only thing capable of satisfying the heat pooling in his belly was sexual release with a partner, but even if Dan had a partner the idea of that disgusted him. He had been used in that way, so how could he use someone else? He couldn’t fathom it – using someone to satisfy his body’s needs, rather than doing it to strengthen an emotional connection.

An emotional connection? Where had that thought come from? Dan shook his head to clear it, but he groaned. His head was still fuzzy and his body felt heavy. He knew that if he didn’t get out of the tub soon then it would be more difficult later, so he pulled the drain. He climbed out of the bathtub and he shrugged into the blue bathrobe that Phil said he could use. Normally he would dry his hair and put on his pajamas, but Dan only had the energy to go to the sofa in the living room.

As he stretched out, facing the back of the sofa, he whimpered as the movement made the bathrobe brush across his ignored erection. He closed his eyes, knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep in this state. He was unwilling to do anything to his body, which would only provide temporary relief. He lay still, feeling completely miserable.                                       

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter wasn't too angsty, but Dan was having a bad day and I didn't see how to avoid it.


	9. Chapter 9

As Phil closed the stationary store for the night, he was running scenarios through his mind. He couldn’t help picturing the best and most selfish scenario in which when he came home Dan was waiting and ready to give him a second chance.

Dan had asked him this morning ‘Why do you like me?’ but Phil had frozen and been unable to answer. In this scenario, Dan gave him another chance to answer and Phil told him that he liked him because he was funny and sweet and clever and… and Phil just couldn’t stop thinking about him. About his laugh and his dimples and the way he talks.

Phil sighed and tried to push these thoughts from his mind. He had accepted that he wasn’t going to get the best scenario, and he had to be okay with this because the best scenario wasn’t the one that was best for Dan, just Phil. He was selfish. He shouldn’t have kissed Dan this morning. Dan didn’t need someone making a pass at him right now – he needed a friend. So, Phil had to stop and try to take back this morning.

Really, all he should hope for would be that Dan was still willing to talk to him when he got home, so that he could say he was sorry and that it wouldn’t happen again. He pictured this ideal scenario. He would come home and they would talk. It might take some time for things to get back to normal as Phil proved to Dan that he could trust him. All he wanted was for Dan to be in his life.

By the time Phil walked home, it was dark out and he had gathered his thoughts enough that he wasn’t too nervous as he unlocked the door of his apartment. As he locked the door again and put the chain across, he shouted into the hall, “I’m home!”

It was 7:30PM, so Dan should definitely be awake, but he didn’t respond. Phil stood in the dark hallway, straining to hear something, but the apartment was silent. He tried again, “Hello?”

Another scenario started to unfold in his mind. Dan had been terrified when Phil grabbed his arm – what if Phil had scared him so badly that he didn’t want to live together anymore? What if he had already left? Phil would have no idea where to look for him if the Neko ran away. He might never see him again.

Panicking, Phil dashed through the apartment. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for since Dan hadn’t brought any bags with him, so Phil couldn’t see if his things were gone. He stopped running suddenly in the living room. No lights were turned on in this room either, but there were enough artificial city lights streaming in from the open curtains that Phil could see. Dan was there, lying on the couch in a bathrobe, facing the wall. He was asleep. He was here. Safe.

Phil stared at him as he tried to even his breathing. He was still tense as his body hadn’t gotten the message yet that everything was okay. Phil crossed the room, wanting to touch Dan to reassure himself that the boy was fine. He sat on the coffee table beside the couch, listening to Dan breathe for a moment before he reached out to stroke his curly hair.

He had only touched him lightly, but Dan stirred. He murmured, “Phil?”

“It’s me,” Phil said in a soft voice. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep.” He shifted slightly, made a noise in the back of his throat, and he didn’t try to move any further.

“It’s still pretty early. Have you had dinner?” Phil heard Dan make another noise that seemed to indicate that he had eaten, and Phil bit his lip. He knew Martyn brought over food, but he had pictured them talking about their relationship over dinner. As he stared at Dan’s unmoving form, it was starting to look like none of that mattered anymore. He reached out to touch Dan again, this time resting a hand on Dan’s forehead. “Dan, are you okay? You’re pretty warm.”

Dan groaned. “I don’t feel so good.”

Phil felt himself starting to panic again, but he made sure that his voice sounded calm so that he didn’t scare Dan. “Are you sick? Let me know what I can do.”

Dan shook his head. “I just need rest. You go eat. Your dinner is in the fridge.”

“You sure?” Phil reached out to touch Dan, noting again how hot and clammy his skin was. Dan nodded beneath his hand. “Okay, I’ll be back to check on you soon.”

Phil went to the kitchen and found a container of Indian food in the fridge, which he placed in the microwave. His stomach was twisting with anxiety and he didn’t think that he would be able to eat, but by the time the kitchen was filled with the scent of curry his mouth was watering and he couldn’t deny that he was hungry.

Phil ate quickly so that he could return to the living room, but when he did the couch was empty. He felt that twisting sensation in his stomach again. “Dan?” He heard retching and followed the sound to the bathroom – the door was open and he saw Dan bent over the toilet. “Oh my God, Dan, what’s wrong?”

Dan didn’t respond as Phil knelt beside him and touched the back of his neck. He was burning up. Dan leaned forward and retched again.

“I’m taking you to the hospital. Something is wrong.”

Dan shook his head. In a rasping voice he said, “No hospital. They can’t help with this. I know what’s wrong.”

“Could you tell me please? I’m kind of freaked out.”

Dan shut the lid on the toilet and turned to face Phil. His curly hair was damp with sweat and his cheeks were flushed with fever. “I don’t want you to be scared. Everything will be okay. I’m just… in heat.”

Phil stared at him blankly until he remembered something. On the website with advice for first-time Neko owners, there had been that section that mentioned heat. He looked at Dan – the website hadn’t mentioned anything like this. “I read something about that. You were supposed to be on pills, right? I’m so sorry that I didn’t get you some. I didn’t realize that you could get sick like this.”

Dan shook his head. “It’s not your fault. Mr. Smith told me how expensive the suppressants are – I don’t think you could afford them. But I’ll be fine without them.”

“Wait, there was something else. The website said that there was something owners could do to help. I don’t own you, but could I help?”

Dan gaped at him, but then shook his head slightly. “You don’t know what you just offered to do, do you?”

“No… not really. The website didn’t get specific.”

“It was talking about sex. Sex is supposed to help.” He laughed softly at Phil’s expression. “Yeah, I didn’t think you knew what you were offering. Could you help me up?”

Phil lifted Dan to his feet. He was slightly wobbly and had to lean against the sink while he brushed his teeth. Then Phil led him to the living room with a hand under his elbow in case he fell. Dan sank into the couch with a sigh and closed his eyes. Phil couldn’t help noticing the bulge beneath his bathrobe. Phil looked up to see that Dan’s eyes were open and that he caught Phil staring. “Sorry. It’s just what you said back in the bathroom when I didn’t understand… you don’t want me to? I’m only asking because you didn’t say.”

“No,” Dan said in a flat voice. “I don’t.”

Phil blushed. “I’m sorry. Please don’t think that I was trying to take advantage. I really didn’t understand what I was offering.”

Dan reached out and Phil took his hand. Phil had been awkwardly standing before him, but Dan tugged him a step forward. Phil took that as an invitation to sit. Dan looked miserable, but he tried to give Phil a small smile. “I know you’re not trying to take advantage of me. I’ve thought a lot about what happened earlier today. I know you weren’t trying to hurt me.”

Phil released a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. “That’s… good. I’m glad. I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened today, and I had all these things that I was going to tell you when I got home to convince you that I would never hurt you.”

Dan’s smile widened. “You don’t have to convince me. I trust you.”

In this moment, Phil realized how badly he had messed up when he kissed Dan today. He should have done it in a moment like this one – a moment in which they both felt safe. It’s too late now, though. Phil glanced at the path to his bedroom. “I should go. So that you can get some rest.”

“Okay, goodnight.”

As Phil stood up, Dan stretched out on the sofa. Phil smiled at him, and he said with overwhelming fondness, “Night, Dan.”         

Phil went to his bedroom and shut the door. He sighed in relief as he stripped off his work clothes and changed into his pajamas. Then he looked at his bed. It was early – once again he had gone to bed early so that Dan could rest in the living room; Phil wished he had a second bedroom.

Phil crawled into bed and turned his laptop on. He pulled up Google at first, thinking that he should do some research about what was wrong with Dan. Research had helped him last time to feel like he had a handle on the situation, but Phil closed the webpage. He didn’t want to do research; he wanted a distraction. Phil logged into Netflix, plugged in his headphones, and started watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

A while later, Phil heard a knock on his door. He pulled the headphones out of his ears and he paused the episode. “Dan, is that you? You can come in.”

“Who else would it be?” Dan opened the door slightly and peaked in. His face was still flushed with a fever, but he looked shy. A bit nervous. “I saw the light and knew you were still up, so I thought I could ask…”

“What is it?” He started to shift the laptop off his lap. “Did you change your mind about the hospital? Do you want me to take you there?”

“No, I’m not going to change my mind about that. I’m sure that the man who bought me will be checking places like hospitals for me. I’m not going back to him. I’d rather die.”

Phil nodded, thinking he should have realized that Dan was avoiding places like hospitals. “So, what is it that you needed?”

Dan leaned against the doorway and his face flushed a bit more. “I was wondering if I could come in.”

“Sure.” Phil glanced at the left side of his bed, and he scooted over a bit to make room. “You want to lie down?”

“Thanks, Phil.” Dan crawled beneath the blue and green duvet and settled into the pillows. He looked at Phil’s laptop. “What are you watching?”

“Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was my favorite show when I was in high school. I used to make all my friends watch it. Have you ever seen it?”

Dan shook his head. “No, but I’m curious. I’d like to watch it.”

Phil hovered his laptop’s cursor over the ‘pause’ button, but he didn’t un-pause the show. “You really want to watch Buffy now? Are you okay? I… just don’t know what you need. I want to help you. Dan, what did you come in here for?”

“This,” Dan said, as he settled deeper beneath the duvet. “Let me know if this isn’t okay. I know I’m invading your space, but it’s helping.”

“Don’t worry about it – I like having you in my space.” Phil smiled. “But it helps? Really?”

“It does.” Dan nodded. “I wasn’t sure when I first decided to come in here, but it does. I feel close to you, just lying here beside you, and it helps. Don’t worry, Phil. This is all I need. I just want to lie here beside you.” Dan glanced up at him with large brown eyes. “You’re sure this is okay?” 

“Yes, of course.” Phil laughed, and without thinking about it he slipped his arm around Dan and pulled the Neko against his side. “You still want to watch Buffy?”

“Uh, yes please.” He seemed a bit distracted by the change in position.

“Do you want me to restart the episode? I’m about 15 minutes in.” Phil unplugged the headphones from his laptop so that they would both be able to hear.

“That’s okay. You can just un-pause it here.”

They started watching the episode and Phil briefly explained the premise. By the end Dan said he liked it and watched to watch more, so Phil started the next episode. When Dan’s head settled against Phil’s shoulder a few moments later, Phil realized that he had fallen asleep, so he closed his laptop. He was tired now too, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep beside Dan.

Moving carefully so that he didn’t wake up Dan, he placed his laptop aside and turned off the lamp. Phil shifted slightly so that he was lying flat, and this movement shifted Dan, but he only made a soft noise and didn’t wake up. His fever-warm body was pinning down Phil’s arm, but Phil didn’t care. He was scared that Dan was sick, but happy that Dan was here. He still felt like he was being selfish, but Dan wanted to be here, so he pushed that thought away and just enjoyed the feeling of having Dan beside him.

The truth was that Phil didn’t believe he deserved to be happy. He had always pretended to be happy, but he usually wasn’t. He was lonely, and when he picked people to be in his life they were usually the wrong people: they hurt him, they used him, and then they left him. That had happened so many times before. But this time felt different, and Phil felt like he had picked the right person.

As Phil started to fall asleep with Dan in his arms, he realized that he was totally and completely happy for the first time in a long time.       

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, we're getting close to being about a third of the way through the story. I am still working on the ending so I can't update the total number of chapters yet since I don't want to rush the end and I am not sure how many chapters it will take.  
> Once I know the total, should I update the "?" in the chapter #, or not?


	10. Chapter 10

Phil was a light sleeper and he didn’t get much rest thanks to the Neko sharing his bed. He could tell how uncomfortable Dan was and he knew it wasn’t his fault, so he did his best to make Dan feel safe as he thrashed in his fever dreams by murmuring soothing things and holding him closer.

At one point, Dan jolted awake, seeming to be completely aware. “Phil,” he gasped. “I’m going to be sick. I don’t want to be sick in your bed. Please help.”

“Okay, one second.” Phil grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. He had been on the edge of sleep a moment ago, and while he knew what needed to be done his limbs still felt heavy with sleep. He willed his legs to move over the edge of the bed, and they moved slow to obey him, but finally he was sitting up with his legs out of the bed. He turned to Dan. “Hold on.”

Phil picked up Dan and carried him to the bathroom. Dan clambered out of his arms before kneeling to retch bile into the toilet. By the time he came up for air, Dan’s face was pale and sheened with sweat. “Sorry. About waking you. About all of this.”

Phil sat on the edge of the bathtub beside Dan. “It’s not your fault. Don’t apologize. But Dan, can I ask you something?”

Dan nodded. He was still kneeling by the toilet, and he seemed to be debating if his stomach had settled yet.

“You look like hell.”

Dan grinned and despite the sweat on his face he looked lovely as his eyes lit up in amusement. “Thanks so much. What was your question?”

“I was just wondering if it was always this bad. If you always get sick like this. This happens every month, right? I wouldn’t know how to handle that if it were me.”

“Oh, no actually, it’s not usually like this.” Dan was staring at the washcloth that was hanging on a hook near Phil, so Phil dampened it under the tap and handed it to him. Dan started cleaning the sweat off his face as he talked. “I only had a heat like this once before, my first one when I was 12, about to turn 13. They started giving me suppressants right after that. I was on them for 5 years, right up until the time I was sold. I actually liked the pills – they were the one thing I liked about living in that place. That I didn’t have to feel like this every month.”

Phil grasped one detail of what Dan just shared, and his hands fisted at his sides. “You told me that you had just turned 18 when we met. You meant that literally, didn’t you? They sold you when you were 17?”

Dan nodded and looked at Phil’s fists. He reached out to tap one with a fingertip. “Don’t be angry. Not on my behalf. It’s not you.”

“Oh, really?” Phil asked, not entirely happy to hear himself described in that way. Phil had never been strong or tough, and whenever a physical confrontation happened – like a playground fight – Phil had always run away. He always felt like a coward, and right now he wanted to be different. He wanted to be someone strong and vengeful who could hunt down and punish the people who had hurt Dan. His fist tightened under Dan’s fingertips. “You say being angry isn’t like me? So, who am I?”

“You’re… you.” Dan pulled his hand back and bit his lip. He hesitated, but went on, “You’re sweet, like the sweetest person I’ve ever met. You’re funny, gentle, and kind. You’re a lovely person.”

Phil thought about how similar this sounded to the things he’d thought about saying in response to Dan asking why he liked him. He opened his mouth, but then he closed it.

Dan gave him a slight smile. “What?”

“Nothing. Just, there was something I wanted to tell you. Something I wanted to explain, but this really isn’t the time. I’m not sure there ever will be a time, now that…” Phil shook his head, trying to balance being honest with being protective. “It doesn’t matter. Forget it.”

“You said ‘now’.” Dan glanced down at himself. “You mean while I’m like this? What don’t you want to say?”

He could tell how fragile Dan’s self-esteem was, so he knew he couldn’t leave it like that. Phil clarified, “I was thinking about earlier, when I told you I liked you. I still do, but I’m not going to bother you about it again. Because now I can really tell that you don’t feel the same way.”

“You can?” Dan narrowed his eyes.

“Yes. It’s okay. I understand. If you were interested in me like that, you would want me to help you, so that you don’t have to feel like this. But you don’t like me in that way, which is why you’re going through this in the way that you are. It’s okay that you don’t like me. I’m fine with it and I can really respect that.” Phil gave him a wobbly smile. “Thanks, Dan. I mean it. I think that anyone else in this situation would just grab the nearest warm body if that could stop the pain, but you didn’t. It shows how strong you are, and I think it shows how you care about me. It couldn’t just be physical for me and I probably would have gotten hurt emotionally. So, really, thanks.”

Dan nodded and looked away. “Sure, you’re welcome. Could you help me up?”

Phil helped Dan up so that he could brush his teeth. Then they went back to bed. Phil glanced at his clock and saw that it was 4:30AM. He had to wake up to get ready for work in less than 3 hours, but he didn’t care about anything but the boy who was now lying beside him. His friend.

“Phil…” Dan said hesitantly.

Phil couldn’t see Dan’s face as his eyes hadn’t readjusted to the darkness yet – he wondered if Dan could see in the dark thanks to his cat genes, but he didn’t ask. Phil brushed the Neko’s damp, curly bangs away from his forehead. “What is it?”

“You’re wrong.”

Phil frowned. “About what?”

“I think I do like you. I think I like you so much, but I’m just not sure right now and I’m terrified.”

Phil felt his heart beating against his ribs. “Why would that scare you?”

“It scares me for about a hundred different reasons,” Dan gave a nervous laugh glancing down at himself. “The most primary of which is the way my body is right now.”

“You don’t think that I would hurt you. Or that I would do anything to you that you didn’t want? Dan, even if you like me back, it doesn’t have to be like that.”

“I know. You’re great. I just hate the way I feel right now. I don’t trust anything about it. My body is letting me down right now. I’m not just physically weak. I have all these instincts that I’m fighting. I even have thoughts going through my mind that I normally wouldn’t have, and I’m…”

“Oh,” Phil said, realizing what Dan meant. “You want to wait until your heat is over.”

Dan nodded. “Yes. I think this is me. I think I liked you before this started, but I want to be sure. I need to know that it’s me that wants you, not just my body.” He started talking faster then and Phil had to strain to keep up. “And even then, I’m still not sure. Phil, I have no idea what I want. After what happened to me, I’m not sure if I will ever want to be with someone, even you, but… but I’m not ruling out the possibility. Not yet, not with you. And really, that says a lot about you.” Dan took a breath before going on, “I wasn’t going to say any of this until I was a bit surer of things, but I couldn’t let you continue thinking that I didn’t care. I do. I think I like you. I’m just really confused right now.”

Phil leaned in to place a kiss on Dan’s forehead. Dan tasted like the salt of his sweat, but Phil didn’t mind. “Thanks for telling me. Don’t worry about me, Dan. I don’t want you stressed out about this – just focus on feeling better. Either way, it doesn’t matter because we’re still going to be friends, no matter how this turns out. I just want you in my life.”

Dan’s bright teeth flashed in the dark as he smiled. “I want that, too. So, you’ll wait?”

Phil pulled the Neko against his chest in a tight hug. “I could wait a lifetime for you.”

 

 

“Phil, wake up. Phillll,” Dan groaned.

Besides Dan’s voice, Phil heard a familiar beeping noise that was dragging him to awareness. Dan leaned over him and Phil felt something hard press against him, and suddenly he was completely awake. Phil blinked, but without his glasses all he could see was his phone in Dan’s hand; the beeping stopped.

“Are you awake?” Dan asked. He looked at Phil and in the light of Phil’s phone he could see his face. “You are. Good. Your alarm went off. Do you have work?”

“I do.” Phil cleared his throat. “I was going to call in sick or something though.”

“On your second day back at work? And you’re not sick. Why would you do that?”

“You are, though. You’re going to be sick for a couple more days, and I don’t want you to go through that alone. Not over this job – it’s not worth it.” He couldn’t see Dan’s face clearly without his glasses, but he could tell that Dan was giving him a quizzical look. “I don’t like working there and my manager is awful. The girl who broke up with me on the day I met you said something that has stayed with me – she asked me why I never stand up for myself. I want to start doing that if I’m going to be working there again. I don’t want to let this guy walk all over me anymore, and I think a good start to that would be telling him that I can’t work today because I need to be there for someone I care about.”

“Thanks, but I don’t want you to lose your job taking a stand because of me.”

“Well, I’m not good at taking stands for myself, and I think it would be easier to do it on your behalf.”

“Okay,” Dan gave him a quick smile. “You stand up for me and I’ll stand up for you. But I’m not sure that this is the time to do that. I’ll be fine here while you go to work. If you lose this job because of me, then you’ll start worrying about money again. I don’t want you to be worried.”

Phil bit his lip as he thought. “You’re right… I could call Martyn. He works from home. I could ask him to bring his laptop over here. He could look after you for me.”

“Oh no, do you have to?” Dan rolled away and settled back into his pillow. “I hate the way I am right now. It’s really embarrassing. I don’t think I want him to see me like this.”

“Why? Martyn won’t care.” As Phil said it though, he knew that maybe it was something he couldn’t promise. Dan was in an admittedly awkward situation. Phil didn’t mind since he saw Dan as someone who might potentially be more than a friend, but it might be impossible for his brother to be in a room with Dan and act like everything was normal – Martyn was not the best in odd social situations. Phil went on, “Okay, I’ll make him promise not to be a dick to you. He won’t make any stupid jokes or things like that. If you want you don’t even have to be in the same room as him – you can hide in another room while he hangs out in the kitchen and does his work.”

“And you’ll feel better if he’s over here?” Dan asked. He sighed in response to Phil’s nod. “Ugh, okay, ask him if he’ll come over.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could I ask you all something? Sorry if this is annoying, but I need something to get my creativity flowing. While I'm completing this project, I want to be able to plan a new one. I have the ending of "Stray Cat" outlined, and it will only take a chapter or three to reach it.  
> I need to start planning something new to inspire me, so I was hoping that I could get some ideas. I'm new to reading an writing fanfiction, and I love fanfictions set in alternate universes. I loved exploring the Neko AU, and I was wondering if there was a similar universe I could use for my next project.  
> I'm familiar with the alpha/omega AU, but I don't want to write one. I don't want to write anything about vampires either (I wrote a novel about vampires once and I'm tired of them). I don't have any ideas at the moment for a soulmate AU. Is there another commonly used AU that I haven't hear of? I only read Dan and Phil fanfictions at the moment, so I might be missing something.  
> I love mythology and folklore. I'm familiar with things like Kitsune. I would love to do another fanfiction set in an alternative universe if there is one that is popular at the moment. Are there any that you can think of please? Please let me know or even list the names of fanfictions set in these AU (doesn't have to be Dan and Phil) because I'd like to read some of them before I attempt to write my own. Thanks


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the time of writing this, Stray Cat has almost a thousand hits. Thank you all so much. I never expected it to get so much interest. This means so much to me <3

Though he liked the idea of hiding beneath Phil’s duvet from the world for the rest of the day, Dan dragged himself out of bed. While Phil got ready for work, Dan made himself presentable by putting on a t-shirt and sweatpants – the pants were uncomfortable because of his heat, and Dan stifled a whimper as he settled onto the sofa beneath a blanket.

Someone knocked on the front door, but before Dan could shift the blanket off his lap and get up, Phil had answered the door. Dan heard him say, “Morning, Mar.”

“Hey, Philly.” Dan heard them walk to the kitchen, and then Martyn asked, “Where’s Dan?”

“I think he’s in the living room,” Phil responded. Dan wondered if he should tell them that he could hear them. “Thanks for coming over.”

“No problem,” Martyn said “So, you said he’s sick? Does he like need anything? I’m happy to help but I do need to get some things done today… Just letting you know that I can’t be a nurse if that’s what he needs.”

Phil hadn’t told Martyn what was wrong with him yet – Dan definitely wasn’t going to tell them that he could hear them now. “He should be fine. He’s got a fever and he’s throwing up, but I just don’t want him to be alone in case he passes out and falls down or something.”

“Okay. So, he has the flu?” Martyn asked.

“Uh, no, not a flu.” There was a pause as Phil thought of how to respond. “He’s in heat. Have you heard about that before? It’s a thing that Nekos get.”

“Oh shit. I have heard of that. But not from a reliable source. Just pornos… Yeah, I don’t really know anything about it. I didn’t even know that it could make them sick like this. Just horny.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t imagine that this is anything like what you saw in porn. He’s feeling poorly. I think it’s because he’s resisting it, fighting the way his body is trying to feel. It doesn’t help that this is happening before he has recovered fully from what was done to him before we met – the bruises haven’t even fully healed yet. It’s all just… really awful. But he should be feeling better in a couple days when this heat is over. Can you come over tomorrow, too?”

“Sure, Phil. What time do you have to go to work today?”

“Oh!” Phil exclaimed, and there was the sound of a chair scraping across the kitchen floor. “I should leave now.” There were approaching footsteps and Dan looked up as Phil materialized in the doorway. “There you are. I have to get going. Martyn is in the kitchen setting up his laptop – he’ll be here until I get home, so you won’t be alone.”

“Okay. Have fun at work. Keep an eye out for those flying chocolate oranges.”

Phil grinned at him. “Don’t worry. I’ve been practicing my dodge. I won’t get hit again. See you later.”

“See you.” Dan listened to him as he walked away and then left through the front door; he missed him already. A moment later he heard the chain being put across and then Martyn popped his head into the living room.

“Hey, just wanted to say… hi,” Martyn gave him a wave while Dan stared at him. So, this was awkward – not that Dan could blame him. “I’ve got to get some work done. If you need anything, give a shout, or else I’ll just see you in a few hours when I take my lunch break.”

“Okay,” Dan said, exhaling in relief when Martyn left the room and took the awkward tension with him. Wanting a distraction, he turned on the TV and the game console. He muted the TV so that he didn’t bother Martyn in the kitchen and he started playing Mario Kart. After a few minutes, he was glad that Phil wasn’t here to see how awful he was – he felt too lousy to concentrate on the race and he kept getting hit by items. He played until he couldn’t focus anymore, stared at the menu for a while, and then dropped the controller.

Dan buried his face in the arm of the sofa. He wanted the pain to stop – his head was throbbing, his heart was pounding, his dick was so sensitive that it was painful, and his stomach was rolling with nausea though he hadn’t eaten anything today. Dan didn’t like being a Neko – he never had – but it was moments like this that made him hate what he was. He was broken.

 

 

Someone was touching his shoulder. Dan woke with a shout and flinched away from the hand. “Sorry!” someone said. Dan looked up to see Martyn backing a step away from him. “I made sandwiches for lunch. I was just waking you up to see if you were hungry.”

“Oh,” Dan tried to even his breathing. He must have been asleep for a while if it was lunchtime. Truthfully, he was tired and would have preferred to continue sleeping, but he gave Martyn a polite smile. “Thanks, Martyn.”

Martyn sat next to him on the sofa and Dan saw that he had already placed two glasses of Ribena and a platter of sandwiches on the coffee table. Martyn nodded to them in invitation. “Peanut butter and jelly. I even cut them into triangles because that makes them better, of course.”  

Dan took a bite of a sandwich hesitantly, but his stomach seemed to have settled. Martyn was acting less awkward around him, and a few moments later they settled into a casual race of Mario Kart between bites of peanut butter and jelly. Dan asked, “How much longer are you on break?”

He glanced at his watch. “About 45 minutes, but my schedule isn’t really strict. It’s more a matter of keeping track of how much time I work for when I bill my client later.”

“What is it that you do?” He asked, and he said it with more than casual curiosity – Dan liked the sound of a job he could do from home.

“Web design.”

“Oh,” Dan said, unsure what to ask next. He only knew about ‘the web’ in an abstract sense when people like Phil talked about the internet or he saw it depicted in movies or on TV. He was curious about going online, but no one had ever allowed him to do it before Phil handed him a laptop when they were looking at jobs, and Dan hadn’t explored any other websites at the time. “How did you learn how to do that? Did you have to go to school?”

“Yeah, I went to college. I knew some things about it since I was a kid, but I couldn’t get hired until I earned some credentials.”

Dan sighed, letting go of a vision of the future where he could be a web designer.

Martyn glanced at him. “You’re thinking about getting a job?”

“Well, I don’t want to live off Phil forever, and I know there aren’t many options for people like me. When Phil said you work from home I started thinking about how nice that sounded. It might not matter that I have a tail and ears if I can work from home.”

Martyn nodded. “I can see that. There’s lots of other jobs you can do from home. Not all of them require degrees. I’m sure you’ll find something.”

“Thanks,” Dan said with a smile, feeling a bit more optimistic. They completed another race, and Dan came in nearly last as he became distracted by another thought. “Martyn, could you tell me something about Phil? I didn’t want to ask him in case it would be crossing a line, but why does he work in customer service if he doesn’t like it?”

“Oh, he wouldn’t have been bothered if you’d asked him. You should know that Phil has a Bachelor’s degree in Linguistics, but there aren’t many jobs in that field and he doesn’t want to work in that area anyway. He also started working on a Master’s degree in Post-production and he loved it, but he stopped since he wasn’t sure what he wanted to do with his degree and the classes were really expensive. So, Phil started working in customer service jobs to pay his student loans while he took a break from school, and that’s what he’s been doing since.”

“So, he hasn’t found his passion yet? The thing he wants to do with the rest of his life?” 

“Oh, no,” Martyn shook his head. “He found it. Hasn’t he shown you yet?”

Dan just blinked at him.

“Where’s his laptop?” When Dan pointed to Phil’s bedroom, Martyn left and then returned with Phil’s laptop. He opened it but then stared at the place where he was supposed to enter a password. “Hmm, I know his old password, but I’m not sure if he’s changed it. Oh well. If it’s wrong, I’ll just show you on my laptop when I’m finished with work, or you can get Phil to show you.”

Dan watched Martyn’s hands move across the keyboard, and then he said, “His password is Buffy1987?”

“It used to be. Let’s see…” Martyn hit ‘enter’ and they both laughed when the laptop accepted the password. “I guess I know my brother. Okay… so, have you heard of YouTube?”

“No.” Dan watched as Martyn pulled up a website with bright red logos. Martyn typed ‘AmazingPhil’ into the search field. Then he slid the laptop over to Dan.

“Okay, I’ve got to get back to work, but if you’re curious this used to be Phil’s passion. He would make videos on this website. I’m not sure why he stopped – I haven’t asked him. But it made him happy, so I hope he starts doing it again someday.”

Martyn returned to the kitchen and Dan pulled the laptop into his lap. He plugged in some headphones, but he hesitated before clicking on a video. It seemed personal somehow, like he had found Phil’s diary and was about to start reading it, but then he had to admit that this was a poor analogy because if he came across Phil’s diary he would probably read it. Dan wanted to know everything about Phil. So, he played the video. And then another. And another.

 

 

“Hey! Can someone please get the chain?”

Dan looked up at the sound of Phil’s voice – Phil was home, but he was locked out. Dan shut the laptop and shifted it to the cushion beside him. He gathered the blanket around his body to conceal the effect his heat was having on his body and he walked to the front door. Martyn was already there, closing the door behind Phil.

Dan grinned like a fool and launched himself at Phil. After taking a second to recover from his surprise, Phil wrapped his arms around Dan. “Hello, you. What was that for?”

“Just happy to see you,” Dan responded. There was a slight rumble accompanying his words and Dan realized that he was about to start purring, but he held the sound in and pulled back from Phil with an apologetic smile, wrapping the blanket tighter around his body as if he could hide beneath it in his embarrassment. “Didn’t mean to attack you as soon as you walked in the door. Sorry, I just missed you.”

“Missed you, too.” He looked at Martyn. “I know you were working, but you didn’t ignore him the whole time I was gone, did you?”

Martyn snorted. “No, Phil.”

“He was nice, Phil! Don’t be cross with him. He just wasn’t you.” Dan looked away, embarrassed.

“Okay,” Phil clapped his brother on the shoulder. “Thanks for your help today. I’m just going to change out of my work clothes, and then you can get going. I’m sure you want to go back to your place.”

Martyn nodded, and Phil started walking to his room. When his back was turned Martyn made eye contact with Dan and then glanced at the kitchen. He whispered, “Come, please.”

With a mix of apprehension and curiosity, Dan followed Phil’s brother to the kitchen. Martyn didn’t immediately indicate what he wanted as he started packing his laptop and papers into a bag. “What is it?” Dan asked.

“That hug you gave Phil…” Martyn said as he continued shuffling his papers. “I was just wondering what that was about. Did you ever talk to Phil? About the thing you said you were going to talk about?”

It took Dan a moment to remember the conversation he had with Martyn the last time they were together. “Oh! Yeah, we did talk about that.”

“You did?” Martyn looked up, his eyes wide with surprise. “How did he take it?”

Dan suddenly found it difficult to meet Martyn’s gaze. “It didn’t go the way I thought it would. Kind of the opposite.”

“He was upset when you said you didn’t like him?” Martyn whispered, glancing at the door to make sure that Phil wasn’t coming.

“No, I was the one who… No. I told him that I might like him.”

Martyn gaped at him. “Why did you do that? You said you weren’t going to hurt him.”

“What’s going on?” Phil was in the doorway, looking between their faces. Dan’s face was flushed, and he wasn’t sure if it was from his heat or shame. “What are you guys talking about?”

Martyn picked up his bag. “Nothing. Um, I’ll see you guys tomorrow. If you want me to come back.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you to come back?” Phil asked suspiciously.

Dan shook his head. “Don’t be silly, Martyn. Of course he’ll want you to come back.”

“No hard feelings?” Martyn asked with a sad smile. After Dan gave him a nod, he turned back to Phil. “Well, good night.”

Phil walked his brother to the door so he could lock it, and then he returned to the kitchen. “What was that about?”

Dan pulled the blanket tighter around himself.

Phil sat down at the table beside him. “Sorry, are you feeling okay?”

Dan gave him a small smile. “Not exactly, but don’t worry about it. Listen, about Martyn...” Phil nodded encouragingly, and Dan went on. “Don’t fight with him, not on my behalf. He’s just being protective of you.”

Phil frowned. “I’m used to it. He always has been. Well, except for this one time when I started going to the same school as him and he ditched me on the first day. Other than that, yeah, he’s always been there for me. Kind of annoying actually.”

“Don’t take it for granted.” Dan spoke with a hardness in his voice that seemed to get Phil’s attention. “Don’t throw that away. No one has ever looked out for me, not in the way your brother looks after you.”

“What did he do, though? Looked like a pretty tense conversation when I walked in.”

Dan shrugged. “That’s all it was – a conversation. He knows you like me, so he’s been asking about it. He’s just being protective of you. It’s fine.”

“Oh. Well, sorry about him. I should have told him not to bother you about it – I just didn’t realize that he knew I liked you.” Phil looked away. “Hey, have you had dinner yet?”

Dan shook his head.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that the fictionalized past of Phil does not reflect my opinion of the real Phil -- I do not believe that the real Phil needed someone like Dan in his life to encourage him to continue YouTube and be successful, since the real Phil is motivated and incredibly creative. This is just a subplot that I will be exploring in the next couple chapters.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see from the chapter # that has been updated from a ?, my rough draft is now complete. *cracks party popper in celebration*

Phil decided to make pancakes for dinner, and he settled onto the sofa with Dan to eat them while watching anime. Dan fell asleep before the end of the episode. Phil wasn’t too tired, but he wanted nothing more than to lie in bed with Dan’s warm body beside his, so he turned off the TV and wrapped his arms around the sleeping Neko. As he placed Dan on the bed he saw that Dan had woken up. “Sorry,” he whispered as he slipped into bed beside him and pulled the duvet over them. “Didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep.”

Dan sat up a bit. “I fell asleep right after dinner, didn’t I? Oh no.”

Phil put a hand on his chest to make him lie back down. “It’s okay. I’m a bit worn out after work. I’m okay with going to bed early.”

“I’m not.” Phil could see Dan pouting in the moonlight coming in through the window. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Oh? We can talk. What did you want to talk about?”

Dan bit his lip and he was quiet for a moment. “Nothing in particular. I just wanted to talk. How was work?”

“Okay.” Phil grinned. “No one shouted at me or threw things at me, so I guess work went well. How was your day? Do anything interesting?”

“Interesting…” Dan weighed the word. “I guess you could say so. I wanted to tell you… Martyn gave me the password to your laptop. Is that okay? Are you mad at me?”

Phil couldn’t think of anything on his laptop that he wouldn’t want Dan seeing. “I’m not mad at you. Of course you can use my laptop. I should have thought to give you the password myself.”

Dan sighed in relief and closed his eyes. “Thanks, Phil.”

“You really thought I was going to be mad at you?” Phil asked with a laugh. “My brother gave you the password – if I was mad at anyone it would be him, but I’m not. You can use my laptop. I mean… what were you using it for?”

Dan glanced at him and he seemed nervous. “Martyn showed me a website: YouTube. It was interesting. I liked it.”

Phil smiled. “I like YouTube, too. Maybe we could watch it together sometime. I’ll show you some of my favorite channels.”

“I’d like that.” They lapsed into silence. Dan was very warm and Phil relaxed beside him. He felt himself drifting off to sleep.

 

 

Phil woke to the sound of retching. He reached out and the sheets beside him were empty and cooling. Dan was gone. Phil sat up and put on his glasses. He looked around the dark room, but no one was here. Then he heard the sound of someone being sick again and he got up, following the sound to the bathroom. “Dan?”

Dan grunted in response; he was bent over the toilet.

Phil sat on the edge of the bathtub. He placed a hand on Dan’s back. “Are you okay?”

Dan shook his head. He spoke in a soft voice, “I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

Phil’s mouth opened and closed as he started to mention the hospital again, but then he remembered that Dan said someone might be looking there for him. So, he decided to try to be reassuring since he didn’t know what else to do. “It’s going to be okay, Dan. You’re going to be okay. You’ve been doing so well. Just another day and a half and everything will be back to normal.”

He shook his head. “I can’t do this.”

Phil moved his hand up Dan’s spine to rest it on his neck. He started rubbing there, trying to be soothing. “You can. You’ll be fine.”

“Ugh, don’t do that please. My neck is sensitive.” Dan waved away his attention.

“Sorry, I should have realized.” Phil placed his hands on the side of the tub.

Dan glanced over his shoulder with a small smile. “It’s okay. You couldn’t have known. It’s not the heat – my neck has always been sensitive.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Phil said without thinking, and then hoped that it didn’t sound too suggestive.

“Phil,” Dan said, turning around. “Um, could you go back to bed? There’s something I need to do.”

Phil glanced at the door and then back to Dan. “I was going to help you get back to my room. You look like you can barely stand up. Shouldn’t I wait? What do you need to do?”

Dan’s face had already been sweaty and flushed, but at this the blush deepened. “I need to… take care of myself. Could you please go?”

“Oh!” Phil stood up, finally understanding. “I’ll just… go then.”

“Thanks, Phil,” Dan said as Phil shut the door between them.

He returned to his bed, and as he lay down he couldn’t help noticing how much his bed now smelled like Dan. Phil rolled onto his stomach and shut his eyes, trying to even his breathing and fall asleep. Before he could, Phil heard something through the wall. It was unmistakably the sound of Dan crying – Phil had heard Dan crying far too many times to think it was anything else.

He wanted to get up and do something. The bathroom door wasn’t locked. He could go in there. But Phil didn’t get up. He realized there was nothing he could do. Dan needed to be alone right now.

 

 

Phil was dressed and ready for work when he answered his door. “Morning, Mar.”

“Hello.” Martyn walked into the kitchen, placing his laptop on the table with a _thump_ that made Phil wince.

In a whisper, Phil said, “Sorry, but could you keep it down until Dan wakes up? He had a rough night.”

“Sure,” Martyn whispered back. He glanced in the direction of the hall. “Is he in the living room?”

“No, in my bed. Just let him get some rest and make sure he eats something later.” Phil started dancing slightly in place. “I’ve got to get going, or I’ll be late.”

Martyn laughed quietly at Phil’s jig and said, “Then go. We’ll be fine here.”

“Thanks.” Phil leaned in to give his brother a quick hug before leaving.

 

It was a slow day and Phil leaned against the countertop. All of the displays were stocked and there was nothing else to do until a customer approached the register where he was working. Phil stared out the storefront window, since he was always able to find entertainment in people-watching as Londoners dashed up and down the street. He imagined where they were going, what their names were, and what they liked to do. He was watching an eccentric-looking elderly lady in a tattered sweater – he imagined that her name was Beatrice and that she was going to feed the pigeons in the park – when he noticed a girl walking a few paces behind the woman.

Phil didn’t have to guess who this girl was – he knew her. As she flipped her dark hair back from her face, she glanced in the shop window and froze in place as she saw Phil. It was Linda. Phil gave her a wave.

Linda returned his wave. She hesitated slightly, but then came into the stationary store. She walked to the counter. “Hello, Phil.”

“Hi,” he said. She looked around and opened her mouth, but she seemed reluctant to say something, so he said it for her. “I got my job back.”

“I can see that. Congrats, I’m happy for you.” She gave him a quick smile. “Phil… I want to talk to you, but I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

Linda was glancing around the store, and Phil followed her gaze until he realized who she was looking for: his manager. “Oh, don’t worry, Travis isn’t here. We can talk for a bit. What’s up?”

Linda nodded. “It’s just about how we left things. I’ve been thinking, and I wanted to say I’m sorry. I would have called to say this, but I didn’t think you wanted to hear from me. Phil, are we okay? I mean, I know we’re over, but I still like you and I miss you. Can we be friends?”

Phil thought about it. He hadn’t really missed Linda, and that seemed odd. He shouldn’t have been able to so painlessly cut ties with his girlfriend of 6 months, but then there had been Dan – he came into Phil’s life on the same day, and everything had changed. Phil would be fine without her, but she had mattered to him and he liked the idea of being friends, so he nodded. “That sounds nice. I’d like to try being friends.”

“Thank you, Phil.” Linda glanced at her watch. “There’s something else. You left some things at my house, and I put them in a box. Do you want me to bring the box here? Or your place maybe?”

“My place works. Whenever you have time.” He didn’t think he’d left anything important at Linda’s, maybe some pajamas, a toothbrush, and his spare glasses – nothing he needed back right away, but he appreciated that she hadn’t just thrown his stuff out. “Thanks. I don’t think you left anything of yours at my apartment, but I’ll check to be sure.”

She nodded and glanced at the door. “Okay, I’ll see you later. I’m glad we talked.”

“Me too. Bye, Linda.” He hadn’t thought he needed closure, but a weight he hadn’t realized he had been carrying lifted as his ex-girlfriend smiled at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Linda has returned! I hadn't intended to bring her back when I wrote the first chapter. What do you think? :)


	13. Chapter 13

Dan knew it wasn’t reasonable to miss Phil this much – he missed him as much as a missing limb – but he contented himself with Phil’s YouTube videos. Dan felt needy, and it was driving him crazy. Dan honestly didn’t know if this feeling was genuinely his or if it was being caused by his heat. He didn’t know what was real anymore.

His eyes were tired despite sleeping in (he was in the living room now), and when he couldn’t keep them open any longer he just listened to Phil’s videos and smiled, tempted to laugh. Some of Phil’s videos were completely hilarious, but that wasn’t really what made him want to laugh now; Phil affected a personality in his earliest videos where he spoke very quickly, probably due to nervousness, and combined with his Northern accent it made the video entertaining despite anything mundane he was discussing in it.

Dan’s eyes opened when he heard a knock at the door. He shut the laptop and slid it and the blanket off his lap. He was relieved to see that his heat was giving him a reprieve for once, so he didn’t need to conceal his lower half. He got up on shaky legs and walked down the hall to the door, eager to see Phil. He passed the kitchen as he went and glanced in the door. Martyn was on the phone and he was rising to his feet. When he saw Dan was getting the door, he gave him a grateful smile and settled back into the chair, continuing his phone conversation.

Dan reached the door as the person on the other side knocked again and he undid the chain. Dan opened the door with a smile, expecting to be in Phil’s arms in another moment, but it wasn’t Phil. His smile faltered. “Can I help you?”

It was a dark-haired woman. She was staring at his ears.

He felt them twitch and he reached up to touch them self-consciously to stop the twitching that he didn’t have much control over. He also felt that his curly hair was sweaty, and he knew that he must look like a mess; he was a mess.

“Uh.” The woman finally stopped staring at his ears, but this seemed to be due to the fact that she noticed the tail flicking by his legs. Finally, she started talking very fast. “Is Phil here? I saw him a few hours ago and I thought he might be off work by now.”

“No, I’m expecting him to come home any minute now. Did you want to wait inside?” He had no idea who she was, but this was Phil’s home and he didn’t want to be rude to Phil’s friend.

She shook her head and looked down at a box he hadn’t noticed in her arms. “This is his. I was just bringing it by.”

They both stare at the box until she extended her arms, shoving the box against his chest until he grabbed it and took it from her. “Okay, then. I’ll just give this to Phil from you. Would you like me to tell him who it’s from?”

“He knows who I am,” the woman said, and he couldn’t mistake her agitation; she completely hated him. The woman flicked her dark hair over her shoulder. “I have to go now.”

“Great, bye.” Dan nudged the door shut with his foot, catching one last glimpse of the woman as her polite smile dropped to leave a more genuine emotion on her face: loathing. He didn’t take it too personally. People had hated him his whole life for nothing more than the fact that he was a Neko. Actually, no one had been nice to him at all except for Phil and his brother. He wouldn’t have even noticed the woman’s behavior if he hadn’t gotten used to being treated nicely by the Lesters. So, Dan shrugged it off and carried the box to the kitchen.

Martyn had just hung up his phone, which he was putting in his pocket. His laptop was closed so Dan knew he was off work as he put the box on the kitchen table. “What’s that?” he asked.

“Dunno. Some woman said it belonged to Phil,” Dan answered. He was wondering the same thing as Martyn, but he didn’t want to snoop through the box, especially not with Phil’s brother watching.

“What woman? Who was she?”

“She didn’t say. I have a guess, though. Phil only told me about one woman, but he didn’t say what she looked like. Did you ever meet the girl he just broke up with?”

“Yeah, Linda. Dark hair, olive skin, short, and kind of snotty.”

Dan grinned at the description. “Yeah, that was her. I’m surprised at that last one, though. I thought she was just kind of bitchy to me because she didn’t like Nekos. Is that just how she is?”

Martyn shrugged. “I honestly don’t know how she feels about Nekos – it never came up. Maybe that’s what it was. I’m probably being disingenuous to describe her like that. She was always nice to me and she even met Mum a couple times. Mum loves her, and Mum is a really hard person to win over since she’s super protective of Phil. But… Linda never won me over. There was something about her.”

“Oh?” Dan prompted. He sat down at the table across from Martyn. He couldn’t help comparing his own situation to Linda’s, even though he wasn’t dating Phil. If he ever met Mrs. Lester, what would she think of him? The idea was terrifying.

Martyn nodded as he continued, “Linda was nice to everyone, but I didn’t like how she was around Phil. In case you hadn’t noticed, he’s one of the sweetest and most generous people in the world, and Linda wasn’t a good fit for him. Being generous isn’t a bad thing, I’m not saying that. I know for a fact that there’s nothing Phil enjoys more than sharing things with people he cares about, but it didn’t work with Linda. She took and gave nothing in return. Phil needs someone who gives back and just doesn’t take.”

Dan frowned. “I don’t exactly understand. Are you talking about money?”

“No, not just money.” Martyn smiled, seeming to understand Dan’s concern. “And I’m not making any comparisons to any other relationships that may or may not be going on around here. Honestly, I’m a straightforward person and if I were talking about you and my brother I would just say it.”

“Oh,” Dan relaxed slightly. “So, what was it that Linda took from Phil and didn’t return?”

“There was money – presents and things like that. But what really bothered me was the emotional stuff. I hung out with them and my brother is an affectionate guy. He showered her with attention and compliments, and she was just indifferent to it. I never even heard her say anything nice to him. I thought maybe she was just shy around me and she was nicer to him when they were alone, but I asked him and he said no. That’s just how she was. It really bothered me when I found that out. I’m glad that they’re over.”

Dan nodded because he had to agree after hearing that description. Phil deserved so much more – not that Dan was picturing himself in that relationship, being better for Phil than her. Quite the opposite. He thought he would be so much worse for Phil than her. He had already taken so much from Phil, and he had given nothing in return. Dan was broken, and Phil deserved someone whole.

Dan was startled out of his thoughts when Martyn pulled the box across the table and lifted off the lid. He arched an eyebrow in response to Dan’s judgmental look. “Aren’t you curious?”

“Yeah, but I’ve just watched almost all of his YouTube videos without telling him – I have enough guilt to deal with.”

Martyn snorted and shook his head. “Two things: one, those videos are public and you don’t need Phil’s permission to watch them. He won’t be mad. And two, this is Linda we’re talking about, so I doubt there are personal love letters in this box.”

Dan shrugged as Martyn started pulling things out of the box. There’s nothing too exciting at first: clothes, glasses, a complete collection of Buffy DVDs (Martyn informed Dan that Phil owned several copies), a novel, and two tickets to a concert that was taking place in a couple weeks. Martyn examined the tickets. “That was nice of her. She could have kept the tickets and taken someone else to the concert.”

Dan held out his hand in curiosity and took the tickets from Martyn so that he could read them. “Muse? Oh, I’ve seen some of their albums around here. I think Phil said they’re his favorite.”

Martyn laughed. “You’ve never heard of Muse? Don’t you like music?”

“I love music, but I never really got a chance to listen to current music. There was a cassette player in the place where I grew up, but the only tapes were of classical music.” He went on, starting to feel an ache in his chest like he was talking about an old friend he missed. “There was a piano, too. It was old, a bit out of tune, and no one there knew how to play it, but I tried to teach myself. It took a while, but I learned how to play by ear and I got okay at playing _Für Elise._ But then I had to move when I was 12, and there wasn’t a piano or anything to play music on at the new place. Not even a cassette player. I… hadn’t realized how much I missed it until talking about it now.” He gave Martyn a sad smile. “I guess I do miss something from my childhood. Never thought I’d say that.”

Martyn returned the smile. “Well, if you’re interested in music, you’ve come to the right house. I’m sure Phil would love to share his CDs with you. He doesn’t know how to play anything – he had a violin lesson, but his teacher traumatized him by saying that he wasn’t holding the bow correctly. He sings sometimes, though. Badly.”

Dan laughed. “I know. I’ve heard him singing in the shower. Honestly, I think he has a nice baritone, but his voice doesn’t really suit the pop songs he tries to sing.”

Martyn laughed. “You’re right, I’m too hard on him. I grew up being forced to go see his school concerts when I was a kid and it left a bad impression on me, but these days I mostly just hear him sing Christmas carols at home with Mum during the holidays, and you’re right, he’s not half bad.”

Dan smiled at this homey picture. He had never had a family Christmas, but he had seen them on TV and read about them in books – Phil’s home life sounded like it came out of a storybook. He was happy for him because no one deserved that life more than Phil. As he looked around the warm kitchen of the apartment that he shared with Phil, he was also grateful. This was the closest thing that Dan had ever had to a home, and it was because of the amazing man who had shared it with him.

 


	14. Chapter 14

As Phil entered the lobby of his apartment building, he heard a woman crying. He was standing by the elevator and he saw her there, sitting on the bottom step of the stairs. He recognized her by the dark curtain of hair that hid her face, but he was completely unfamiliar with the sounds coming out of her as her body shook with unmistakable sobs – Linda had never cried in front of him before.

Phil sat beside her on the stairs. He wanted to reach out to comfort her, but Linda didn’t like touching so he held back. “Lin, it’s me. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

She jumped, startled by his sudden presence at her side. “Phil! I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

He waited silently as she gained control of herself and dried her cheeks with her hands. When she was a bit more composed, he asked, “What happened?”

“I went upstairs to drop off your box, and I…” She finally looked up to meet his eyes with hrs. “What is that thing doing in your apartment?”

“Thing?” He tried to think of any offensive objects that he may have left lying around, but there was nothing.

Linda became annoyed as he didn’t understand. “The thing! That cat thing. Why have you got one of those in your apartment? Why did it answer the door?”

“Are you talking about Dan?”

“I don’t know its name! Why do you have a Neko in your home? How long did you wait after we broke up to buy that thing?”

He was too shocked to be offended, so he answered her simply, “I don’t own Dan. He’s just staying with me.”

Linda stared at him, but then took a calming breath. “Okay, that makes sense. I should have known. You’re not some kind of pervert who buys a sex slave the moment he’s single. You’re trusting and naïve.”

Phil shrugged but didn’t dispute the allegation – he had been described as both of these things before. “So, now that we’ve established that I’m not a pervert, was there anything else you wanted to say? Because I’ve had a long day and I—”

“Yes, there is something I want to say! Phil, you have to get rid of it.” As he started to protest, she went on, louder. “You don’t understand!”

“Then explain it to me,” he said, though he didn’t really want to hear it. He knew now that Linda was prejudiced against Dan. Thanks to his homophobic grandfather, Phil had experience talking to prejudiced people and had learned the hard way that there was no reasoning with them.

“I know what they’re like. Please Phil, you have to be careful. That thing will ruin you. Just like… like my dad.”

He forgot his annoyance at her continued refusal to use Dan’s name or pronouns when she mentioned her father. All he knew about Linda’s family was that her parents were divorced. Linda had kept him at a distance during their relationship, and he couldn’t resist this glimpse of her personal life that she was now offering. “What happened to your dad?”

She swallowed convulsively and had to steady herself before continuing in a hoarse voice. “My parents… they broke up when I was in high school. I told you?” When he nodded she continued in a stronger voice. “What happened was that my dad met a Neko. She was a stripper working at a club, and he started seeing her outside of her work. My mom found out about it. Their friends and neighbors and family – people at my school and everyone found out about it. My mom wasn’t just heartbroken. She was mortified. My dad was, too. After the divorce he started drinking and he lost his job, but he was still seeing that Neko slut and he spent the last of his savings on her. And then when the money ran out she left. My family lost _everything_ because of those cat freaks.”

Phil shook his head. “I don’t know who this stripper was, but Dan had nothing to do with what happened to your family. You can’t draw comparisons between the two.”

She started silently crying as she pleaded, “Phil, listen to me. That thing upstairs is just using you. You’re going to lose everything and it won’t even care – it’s going to use you and then leave. Don’t trust it.” She saw him starting to protest and she spoke over him, “This isn’t about us. We’re over, I know. I’m not jealous and I’m not trying to get you back. Please listen to me as your friend. Get rid of that thing before it ruins you. Please.”

Phil shook his head. “Dan is my friend and I don’t appreciate you talking about him like this. You have no idea who he is as a person – and he is a person.” Phil stood up. “I appreciate your concern, but I don’t want it. Bye, Linda. I… don’t think I want to see you again now that I know you feel like this. Don’t come back.”

She didn’t say another word. She just watched as he walked up the stairs, leaving her behind.

 

 

Phil pushed open the door of his apartment expecting resistance, but it was unlocked. He walked to the kitchen where he heard voices, and two people turned to smile at him, his big brother who had a goofy grin on his face and his new friend whose beautiful face had a dimpled smile on it. Phil felt his chest swell with warmth and love, and he beamed back at them. “What’s up?”

Martyn waved at the table, drawing his attention to an open box. “Linda stopped by.”

“Yeah, I just ran into her on the stairs.” His smile vanished. He looked at Dan. “She wasn’t nasty to you, was she?”

Dan shrugged. “Just a bit.”

“Sorry about her. Don’t take it personally. Apparently a Neko had something to do with her parents breaking up, so she’s prejudiced.”

Martyn made a sound of disgust. “I thought that she was just jealous that you had someone staying with you. That’s so much worse. Did I ever tell you that I don’t like her?”

“You might have mentioned it.” Phil said, and he could tell from the look on Dan’s face that Martyn had been telling Dan, too – and considering the things that Linda had just been saying about Nekos behind his back, it only seemed fair. Phil shrugged. “I told her I never want to see her again, not even as friends. I didn’t know how prejudiced she was. I don’t like how she thinks, even if she has a reason.”

Martyn shook his head. “There’s no justification for thinking like that. And the sob story about her parents? What if that had been us? Let’s say Mum and Dad broke up because one of them cheated with someone of another race. Would that be any reason for you or me to be racist? No. She’s disgusting.”

Phil nodded. “You’re right. I know. There’s just something about crying people that gets to me. I shouldn’t feel bad for her, but for a moment there I did.”

Dan raised his eyebrows. “She cried? Well, remind me to stop getting weepy around you. I wouldn’t want to take advantage of this weakness of yours.”

Phil laughed. “I’ll refrain from putting on sad movies for the time being then.”

Dan blushed slightly because it was true – he had been especially weepy lately because of his heat, but sad movies were Dan’s guilty pleasure. He got so into them, losing himself in the plot to the point that he sobbed uncontrollably. He even did it during TV shows sometimes. The other morning when Phil was job hunting he heard Dan burst out sobbing while watching _Futurama_ and came into the living room for an explanation, only to hear, “Fry’s dog died.”

It seemed odd to him that Dan wanted to watch things that made him sad after going through so much sadness in his own life, but Dan explained to him how he liked losing himself emotionally in stories, and Phil understood; his mum loved daytime soap operas, so he was familiar with the concept. “I get it,” he had said on that day as he returned to the kitchen and his job application. “Enjoy your emotional porn.” Dan hadn’t denied that was what it was.

Martyn startled Phil from his thoughts as he got up from the table. He picked up his bag. “Well, I’ll see you guys later. I’d stay for dinner, but I’m meeting someone.”

Phil grinned at his brother. “Oh? Who is this mystery person?”

Martyn’s lips quirked. “None of your business.”

“I don’t get you, bro. You’ll talk about anything, but then when it comes to the women in your life, you get all shy.” Phil shook his head, feigning disappointment. Martyn didn’t have many flaws or shortcomings, but this was the thing that Phil had always been able to poke at when he felt like being an annoying little brother. “Come on, tell me something. Where are you going for your date?”

“She and I are… no.” Martyn shook his head as color rose in his cheeks. “I don’t want to talk about it. Phil, do you need my help tomorrow? You didn’t say.”

“No, I’m off work so I’ve got it handled. Seriously, thanks for your help.”

“No problem.” Martyn shrugged, and he was still flushed and fidgeting from the prying into his personal life. “Okay, see you guys later,” he said as he nodded goodbye to Dan and then dashed from the room.

Phil followed him to put the chain across the door, and then he returned to the kitchen to sit with Dan. Dan had busied himself by putting the things back into the box and placing it on the floor, so that the table was cleared for dinner. Phil grinned at him. “So, besides enduring my hateful ex, what did you get up to today?”

Dan looked away. “Mostly I just watched YouTube. I wanted to tell you about it yesterday, and now that I’ve been watching them for two days without telling you and I’m worried you’ll be annoyed…”

“I’m not going to be annoyed. What was it?”

Dan met his eyes and Phil lost himself in the dark chocolate of his irises. “I’ve been watching your videos.”

“Oh.” Phil felt his cheeks heat and he wondered how much he resembled his brother just then, but he didn’t want to run away like Martyn at the thought of sharing something personal (though honestly, he was really embarrassed at the thought of Dan seeing his AmazingPhil videos). He wanted to be brave, so he didn’t break eye contact. “Did you… enjoy watching them?”

“Are you kidding? I loved them. They were… so you. I can’t stop watching them. Well, I had to stop watching them. I think I’ve seen everything on your channel now. Phil, can I ask you something?” Dan waited and Phil nodded, though he thought he knew what Dan was going to ask. Dan continued slowly, “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but I was wondering… why did you stop making videos?”

This was the question he had been expecting, but he still bit his bottom lip, unsure how to respond. He hadn’t told anyone this before – not his brother, his mother, or any of his viewers who missed his videos. But this was Dan, so he said, “I had to be in a certain mindset to make videos. I know YouTube is different for other creators. If they’re upset about something, they can make a video about it. The viewers don’t mind, and they support the creator and then everyone is happy. But it’s different for me and I feel this pressure. I view my channel as a place where people come to be happy, so I never want them to see me sad. I can’t make a video if I’m stressed or upset, which is exactly how I felt when I moved from Manchester to London about a year ago. I started uploading videos erratically as I dealt with the stress of moving to a new city and working in retail. And then I met Linda six months ago.”

Dan’s eyes widened in response to this, but he didn’t comment. Phil finished, “So, I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to film anything while I wasn’t happy. I haven’t felt like getting back into YouTube in months. Well, not until now. I think I might like to start filming videos again. Sometime soon maybe.”

Dan beamed at him, dimples popping. “I was hoping you’d say that. Phil, that’s so great.” He looked away and Phil waited because he could tell that Dan wanted to say something else. Finally, he asked, “When you film a video, do you think that I could maybe watch please? I’m curious to see how it’s done.”

That surprised him. He was slightly uncomfortable at the thought of someone watching while he filmed, but he would try for Dan, especially since he was being so supportive of Phil’s channel. “Really? Sure, of course you can watch. Why though? Are you thinking of starting a channel?”

Dan opened and closed his mouth. Then he nodded. “I… yes, I am. I’m kind of becoming obsessed with this website. I can’t get over it. How all these different people from all over the world are able to come together on this website to express themselves. It’s so unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.”

Phil smiled. “I know. It’s wonderful, it’s it?”

“It really is. The creators on this website… they’re just like anyone else. They are just normal people who feel that they have something to share with the world, and they have viewers – people who care and want to watch to hear what they have to say. It makes me wonder if maybe… you know, if maybe someone wouldn’t care to hear what someone like me might have to say? I know I’m not anyone and I’m a Neko, but I’d like to try.”

“You are someone and you’re going to be amazing. They’re going to love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be the one that took me the longest to write. Even though Linda is being set up as sort of an adversary for the boys, it was important for me to explore her viewpoint -- and this is what took me time to decide. I didn't want to make her the stereotypical jealous ex who didn't like that Dan was there because she wanted Phil back. So, then I decided who I wanted Linda to be: a concerned friend who was suspicious of Dan for all the wrong reasons.  
> QUESTION: I haven't updated the relationship tag to be Phil Lester/Original Female Character because their relationship ended in the first chapter. Have I tagged correctly? Or should I have tagged this? Thanks!


	15. Chapter 15

Phil woke with a smile on his face. He felt the Neko shift at his side, so he stretched and said, “Morning, you.”

Dan sighed, sounding like he had been hovering on the edge of sleep. He seemed to struggle closer to awareness, shifting again so that he was facing Phil with his cheek pressed against a pillow. He had taken a shower before bed and his hair dried in an adorably tousled mass of curls. His cheeks were pink and he looked lovely as he smiled back. “Hello, you. What time is it?”

“Um, not sure.” He hadn’t set his alarm since they had decided to sleep in. Phil grabbed his glasses, more out of a desire to bring Dan’s face into perfect focus – he could see Dan’s freckles and the flecks of darker brown in his irises now – and then he grabbed his phone to check the time. “Just after 12, so time to get up. I really want to film something.”

Dan’s smile broadened. “That sounds good to me.”

 

 

They got up and after dressing and taking turns getting ready in the bathroom, they then met in the kitchen for cereal. While eating, Dan asked, “So, do you know what you want to talk about in your video?”

“I think so,” Phil nodded. “I don’t like to script my videos because then what I say doesn’t come across as natural. So, I just decide what I have to say, maybe note some talking points, and then I just decide the rest while I’m filming.” Phil squirmed slightly in his seat at the thought of Dan watching him while he filmed; he had never let someone watch him film a video before. No one had ever asked to watch before. “It probably won’t make much sense to you while you’re watching. I’m going to be filming it in a few parts since I want to play another character. It won’t all make sense until I bring it together in editing.”

Dan seemed to be even more excited to hear this. “Could I watched how you edit it, too? You know, if that’s okay…”

Phil nodded, his nervousness vanishing as he saw how eager Dan was to learn, and it made Phil happy to teach him. While Phil had always loved sharing his passion with people – the various friends he had pushed away with his Buffy obsession could attest to that – he had never had anyone ask him about YouTube before. YouTube was a passion he had almost forgotten, but he felt the flame of it rekindle as he saw Dan’s eyes light up talking about it. Dan’s enthusiasm was contagious.

Dan glanced at the notebook that Phil placed on the table when he came into the kitchen. It was black and said ‘Death Note’ on the cover. There was a second notebook underneath of it. “What’s that? Is that where you wrote your talking points?”

“Yup. This one is where I put my video ideas, although since I wrote them in a Death Note the ideas will probably die,” he said, pointing to the Death Note. Then he handed the second notebook to Dan. “This one is blank. It’s for your video ideas.”

Dan accepted the notebook in stunned silence. Then he saw the funky turtle on the cover, which was covered with sparkles and he arched an eyebrow.

Phil laughed and he felt his tongue stick out of the corner of his mouth. “I work in a stationary store. I get free stuff sometimes when it doesn’t sell.”

“I wonder why no one wanted to buy it.” Dan flipped through it though, admiring the quality of the paper. He closed it and smiled. “Thank you. Can I see yours?”

Phil shifted, feeling his nervousness returning. “Maybe later. Spoilers, you know?”

Dan nodded. “You don’t want to tell me what the video is about?”

“Actually, I already told you all about it. I’m filming a story-time video about a strange person I met. I have a series on my channel all about weird people who come up to me and say or do odd things. It’s all thanks to the Lester Family Curse,” he tried to infuse the last few words with a dramatic flair.

“Curse?” Dan seemed to be suppressing a smirk and he went on, feigning concern, “That sounds quite serious. Is this the sort of thing I should have been informed about before moving in here?”

“Only if you have an aversion to strangers coming up to you in the street, and that won’t happen unless you’re with me. The Lester Family Curse only affects the men in my family. We attract oddness. I can give you some examples. I had a woman come knock on my door once who wanted me to join a cult. A man fell in my popcorn once at the cinema. I went to a gym once where a man forced me to lift a tire.”

Dan’s body was vibrating with the laughter that he was holding in. “Don’t take this personally, but I’m a skeptic. I’m not going to believe in a curse until I see it happening for myself… although, if you attract odd people, then I guess I qualify.”

Phil couldn’t deny it. “True, but you’re the good kind of odd.” Dan’s skepticism seemed to increase, so Phil said, “You’re different and everyone else is the same. That’s why I like you.”

 

 

Dan followed Phil to his bedroom after breakfast and watched as Phil set up his camera, which he pointed at the bed. “Anything I can do to help?”

Phil shook his head after he made sure that the camera was working properly. “No, I just need to get my costume for the character I want to play. Oh! You can do something. Get me an orange from the kitchen please?”

By the time Dan returned with the fruit, Phil was dressed in his preppy-est jacket and he was tying a scarf around his neck. Dan looked at the orange in his hand and grinned. “I just figured out what you’re filming.”

Phil nodded and sat on the bed. He took the orange from Dan, placed it out of sight then looked at the camera. There was no red light. “Oh! Dan, I forgot to start recording. Can you start filming for me? Yeah, hit that button, and then you can go back to standing where you were.”

He waited until Dan returned to leaning against the wall by the doorway, so that the sound of his footsteps wouldn’t be recorded in case this first take was the one that he wanted to use. Then Phil entered the mindset of the angry customer who threw the chocolate orange at his head. He was able to forget that someone was watching him as he hurled insults at the camera and then he ultimately threw a literal orange.

Phil wanted to make sure that the scene looked good, so he watched it back on his camera, but he decided that he had thrown the orange too quickly and it didn’t look good. He re-filmed the action a few more times before he was satisfied with it. Then Phil removed the jacket, scarf, and also the persona of the angry customer. He glanced self-consciously at Dan. “I’m going to do my intro now.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen your videos. Go for it.”

“Oh, right.” Phil laughed at himself for being weird about this, shook off the last of his awkwardness, and turned to the camera with a wave. “Hey guys.” He launched into the story about work, describing what happened and pointing to his fading black eye. He stuck a ‘Hi, my name is: Phil’ nametag to his shirt as he acted out the exchange with the customer from his perspective. He wrapped by announcing Draw Phil Naked waving in the air where he would be placing the art in the video, at which point Dan lost his composure in a fit of giggles.

“Shut up or I’ll kick you out,” Phil said as he started laughing, too. Once they had both quieted, Phil reshot the last part that Dan had laughed over. He quickly looked over what he had filmed, decided it was good, and said, “Okay, I think we have what we need.”

           

 

Phil shut his laptop around 10:00PM and rubbed his eyes. “I might want to do some more to it tomorrow before posting it.”

“It’s perfect, though. I think it’s one of the best videos you’ve ever made.” Dan yawned. He was almost as tired as Phil; he had been attentive during the editing process and made notes in his turtle notebook, but his heat started bothering him again. He had to get up at one point to be sick, but then settled back down on the sofa beside Phil under a blanket, seeming mesmerized by the video that came together on the screen of his laptop.

Phil shrugged and placed the laptop on the coffee table. “I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I want to watch it tomorrow again once I’ve got some distance from it. You know, kind of see it with fresh eyes? Then if I’m happy with it I’ll post it.”

Dan nodded in understanding.

“Hey, thanks for helping me today. I don’t think I would have filmed this if you hadn’t talked me into it. Today made me really happy.”

“I’m happy, too.”

Phil looked closely at the Neko, assessing him for signs of illness, but his skin was a normal healthy tan and he was no longer sweating. Just to be sure, he asked, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m great. I feel perfect. Kind of hungry maybe.” He glanced at the kitchen, seeming to be contemplating a late-night snack. He looked back to Phil. “Why do you ask?”

“I was just worried since you got sick a couple hours ago. The heat?”

Dan shook his head. “That was it. The last of it. Phil, it’s been 3 days since it started. It’s over. I’m fine now.”

“Oh,” he said, the realization sinking in. “Oh, that’s wonderful!” Phil flung himself at Dan and wrapped his arms around the Neko.

Dan laughed as he was startled, and then he hugged Phil back. It took them both a moment to notice the position that they were now in: Phil was lying slightly on top of Dan and they were both breathing heavily. Their faces were inches apart and they both seemed to be remembering the conversation they had at the beginning of Dan’s heat.

“Yes,” Dan said. “I do like you.”

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: please mind those tags, people. Thanks
> 
> I'm a bit nervous to post this chapter?

Phil hid his smile behind his hand and Dan laughed at him. He tugged on Phil’s wrist to lower his hand. “Why do you do that sometimes? Cover your smile or your mouth when you laugh?”

“Oh, that’d be my teeth. See?” Phil smiled to display them. “One of my front teeth is a bit crooked and I never had braces or anything to correct it. I used to be self-conscious about it, so I got into the habit of covering my mouth, but I don’t really care anymore. I like my teeth.”

“You should. You have a nice smile. I like your teeth – they’re very you.” Dan ran his tongue across his own white teeth. “I’m a bit self-conscious of my own. You see the chip in the one at the front? I chipped my tooth biting into an apple when I was a kid.”

Phil was vibrating with suppressed laughter, but eventually he managed to say, “Let’s just both admit that our teeth are fine. But I don’t really want to talk about teeth now, do you?”

Dan felt his heart start racing and he wondered if Phil could feel it from his position on top of him. “No, I don’t.”

Phil started to lean closer, but he hesitated. “Is this okay? Can I kiss you?”

Dan bit his bottom lip, remembering that first kiss where everything had gone wrong. He tried to remember what had caused him to panic, but all he remembered specifically was that he had convinced himself that Phil was going to attack him and use him. He knew now that Phil wanted more than his body, so this kiss should be fine.

Phil had been silently assessing him during this pause. “We don’t have to do anything now. We can wait.”

Dan shook his head. “I’ve already been waiting too long.” He lunged forward and kissed Phil. Phil gasped in surprise against Dan’s mouth, which sent a thrill through Dan who slanted his mouth against Phil’s, exploring. After they took a moment to familiarize themselves with the feeling of each other, neither of them held back or tried to be gentle.

Dan wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Phil pulled away. Phil panted, trying to catch his breath while his face rested against Dan’s neck. The feeling of Phil’s hot breath on his neck made him shiver, but he focused on catching his own breath. Phil had his hand under Dan’s shirt and was idly exploring the skin by his ribs. When he could talk again, Dan asked, “Did I do it right?”

“Hmm?”

“Kissing you. Am I doing it right? I’ve never done anything like this before.”

Phil placed a kiss on Dan’s neck. “Yes, you’re doing perfectly.”

“I want to do more,” Dan requested. He lost some of his boldness when Phil sat up on his elbow to look at Dan’s face, but Dan insisted. “Please. You want me, right?”

“Yes, of course, but we just got together. We haven’t even had a proper date yet.”

Dan laughed. “Phil, it’s almost 11pm. You have work tomorrow, so we have to go to bed. I’m going to your bed, unless you want me to start sleeping on the couch again.”

“Of course you’re coming to my bed,” Phil said with a possessiveness that made Dan shiver with pleasure. “But nothing has to happen. I want you, but I’m not going to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want.”

“I want this,” Dan insisted, and they got up. As Dan followed Phil to the bedroom, he realized that there was a difference between wanting this and wanting Phil. There was no doubt in his mind that he cared about Phil and wanted to be with him, but he wasn’t sure that he wanted Phil’s body yet. Objectively, he had heard that sex didn’t always have to hurt, but it was all he had experienced so far. He didn’t want Phil in that way yet – he wanted to make Phil happy and he wanted Phil to make him forget. He wanted to lose himself in Phil until he couldn’t remember his own name anymore, let alone the things that had happened to him in the past. He thought that if anyone could make him forget, then it would be Phil. Phil was magic.

Phil rummaged in a drawer while Dan laid on the bed. He was unsure if he should remove his clothes, so he just waited, watching what Phil did. Phil pulled a bottle of something from the drawer. Dan didn’t want to seem ignorant, but he couldn’t help asking, “What’s that?”

“This?” Phil handed him the bottle. “It’s lube.”

Dan examined it, but he was still unsure what it was, so he just handed it back to Phil. “What’s it for?”

“I’m… going to use it on you.” Phil sat on the edge of the bed, and Dan could sense that things were a bit awkward and that he had made Phil unsure of this.

He didn’t want Phil to change his mind about this, so he tried his best seductive voice. “Show me.”

It worked. Phil stripped himself and then Dan, kissing bits of skin that he revealed, teasing them both with a slow pace. Finally, he paused again. “Are you ready?”

Dan was still nervous that he would say something wrong and cause Phil to stop, but he felt it best to be honest. “I’m not sure what you’re asking me. Ready for you to do what?”

“Oh.” Phil glanced at the bottle of lube that they had left on the side of the bed. “I was going to start stretching you.”

Dan bit his lip before admitting. “I still don’t know what that means. Maybe you should just do it? You have my consent.”

Phil didn’t move to do anything. After a moment, he said in a whisper. “You’ve never been stretched? Or seen lube before? What did they do to you? That must have been so awful.”

Phil’s words struck him like a blow and he flinched. “Why would you bring that up now?”

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, but we’ve never talked about it before, and I thought maybe we should. It’s more important to me that you’re okay than that we do this, so if you want to talk…”

“I don’t. I’m fine.” He said it more forcefully than he meant to. He wasn’t sure how to rewind this situation so that it was romantic again, but Phil seemed to regret his words, so he gave Dan what he wanted, and he nudged Dan’s knees apart. Dan eyed him dubiously as he put something from the bottle on his fingertips. Dan asked, “Have you done this before?”

“Yes, I’ve had boyfriends before. I know what I’m doing. Do you trust me?” Phil’s hand hovered between them as he said the last part, and Dan knew that his words would trigger the start of something. He nodded.

Phil pushed a fingertip into him and Dan gasped at the slight burn. “Is this okay, Kitten?”

The use of a nickname made him smile; he could get used to this. “Yes, keep going.”

Phil continued, moving the finger in him and then adding another. It didn’t feel good and it didn’t feel bad, and Dan was merely enjoying the feeling of Phil being so close. He was kissing Dan’s neck and murmuring soft and sweet thing into his collarbone while he kept moving his hand, and it made Dan relax bonelessly into the mattress and he sighed with contentment.

Then he jerked as something Phil did sent a thrill of sensation through him. “What was that?”

“Did it feel good?” Phil asked as he moved his fingers again in the same way.

Dan felt a moan escape his lips and his hips twitched. “I… yes.”

“Good. I’m going to try to hit this spot with something else in a moment if you’re ready.”

Dan hadn’t realized that he had shut his eyes. He opened them now so that he could look at the body of the man kneeling between his legs. Phil was pale, flecked with moles in odd places, and his shoulders were broad – he was completely beautiful. Dan said, “I’m ready.”

Phil didn’t do anything other than slip a third finger into him, moving it in the rhythm of sex. It still burned a bit, but it felt even better.

Dan wanted more, so he started moving his hips since Phil wasn’t moving his hand fast enough to please him. Then Phil removed his fingers and Dan whimpered. “Why did you stop?”

“I need to get something.” Phil kissed him, but then he rolled off of Dan. He reached into the nightstand and returned with a foil packet. He tore open the packet and rolled the condom onto his length while Dan watched with wide eyes. He glanced over at Dan and seemed to notice how he had tensed. “Are you okay? We really don’t have to keep going if you changed your mind.”

“I haven’t changed my mind. Just tell me what you want me to do.”

“Oh.” Phil hesitated, but then asked, “Could you roll onto your knees?”

Dan nodded and obliged. He took some deep breaths, trying to relax and it seemed to be working. Phil shifted into place behind him and it was nice at first. His soft hands were still exploring Dan’s body, making the skin tingle, but then his hands settled onto Dan’s hips – that was when Dan knew that this was a mistake.

As Phil’s hands brushed his tail aside and squeezed his hips, Dan couldn’t help thinking about the other hands that had held him like a vise. He couldn’t escape those hands and he had been hurt. He had been hurt so badly. Someone was behind him. Dan was trapped in the past, reliving a horrifying moment, and he couldn’t remember who was behind him now. He felt someone pressing into his tense body. It didn’t hurt, but he screamed it terror and bucked his hips, trying to get away. The hands didn’t hold him as he scrambled to get off the bed.

There was an empty corner and he instinctively crawled into it so that there was a wall behind his back. Dan pulled his knees up his chest, shielding his body. He felt like he was dying – he was trembling uncontrollably, he couldn’t catch his breath, and his heart was pounding against his ribs. He felt wetness on his face, but it took him a while to realize he was crying. While he was drying his eyes, he saw something move in the room and he froze – or he did freeze until the tremors started shaking his body again.

Someone knelt before him and Dan pressed back against the wall, as if he could make himself small enough that he wouldn’t be noticed. “Kitten, it’s me. It’s Phil. Please, I’m sorry. I won’t hurt you.”

Dan blinked. All he could see were the men who had hurt him, but he knew that voice. He tried to see Phil, but things were so confused in his mind. He cared about Phil, but Phil was attracted to him. Phil wanted him in the same way that those men had wanted him. He trusted Phil. He didn’t want to be scared of Phil, but he was scared of everything right now. Everything was mixed up in his head. Dan tried to find his voice, and it came out as a strangled whisper, “I know, but please get out.”

“No, I—” Phil started to reach for him, but Dan flinched away so violently from his touch that he didn’t try to touch him again.

“I need you to go. Please, Phil.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 17 and Chapter 18 were originally one massive chapter that I split in 2. I regret splitting them up now for a few reasons, so I'm just going to post 17 today and 18 on Friday.

Phil hesitated at the door of his brother’s apartment. He had accidentally left his phone at home, so he couldn’t call Martyn and he didn’t even know what time it was, though he knew it was so late that Martyn had to be in bed by now. He actually contemplated falling asleep on the floor outside of Martyn’s front door, but he knew that finding Phil there would annoy his brother more than being awakened by a knock on his door. The only thing that had Phil hesitating was the fact that he didn’t know what to say once Martyn opened the door, but Phil found some courage, knocked, and he waited. He only had to knock a few times before he heard movement in the apartment.

Eventually, the door opened and Martyn stood there rubbing puffy eyes. He was wearing a t-shirt, boxers, and his hair was mussed by sleep. He spoke in a scratchy voice, “Are you okay?”

Phil shook his head. It felt like he was being dishonest, though. Dan was the one who wasn’t okay. The only thing that was wrong with Phil was that he felt like he had a gaping hole in his chest.

Martyn looked him up and down, seeing that nothing was physically wrong. “What happened?”

Phil shook his head again. He really didn’t know what to say.

“Who is it?” A woman’s voice came from within the apartment.

Martyn started to shift the door closed slightly as he looked over his shoulder, but he stopped when he looked back to Phil. “Please, tell me what’s wrong. You know I’m here for you.”

Phil nodded and he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

A woman appeared in the door beside Martyn. She was short and had bright red hair. She was wearing a bathrobe, which she held closed across her chest. Phil didn’t know her, but her eyes widened. “This is your brother, right? Phil? What happened?”

Phil glanced at Martyn. He could tell that Martyn hadn’t wanted his brother and his girlfriend to meet like this, but the woman’s presence seemed to relax him, and Phil saw when Martyn’s attention shifted completely to taking care of his little brother. He pushed the door open wider so that Phil could see into the apartment, including the clothes that were discarded on the floor near the couch. “Do you want to come in?”

Phil found his voice, which was scratchy. “Yes please. Could I sleep here? I wouldn’t ask if there were anywhere else.”

“Of course.” The woman reached for him and pulled him into the apartment. He noticed how small her hands were. He followed her as she guided him into the kitchen and then made him sit at a stool by the kitchen island. She started pulling things out of the kitchen cabinets, looking at home in his brother’s space, and Phil smiled. She turned around, holding mugs. “Are you thirsty? Could I make you something? Cocoa? Coffee?”

“I’d love some coffee. Thank you.” Phil glanced at Martyn as he sat on the stool beside him. “I’m really sorry to show up in the middle of the night like this.”

Martyn shrugged. “It’s okay. I just want to know what happened. Where is Dan?”

Phil bit his lip, but this first question was easy enough to answer. “He’s back at my place.”

Martyn nodded. “Okay. And you two had a fight?”

“Sort of…” All Phil could think about was how Martyn had been having conversations with Dan, warning him about hurting Phil. Phil couldn’t deny that he was hurt, but it wasn’t Dan’s fault. He needed to explain this in a way so that Martyn understood it wasn’t Dan’s fault; it was Phil’s and it was the fault of the people who had hurt Dan before he met him.

The woman placed a mug of instant coffee before Phil and asked, “Who is Dan? Your boyfriend?”

Phil nodded and Martyn’s eyes widened. “We kind of… got together tonight.”

Martyn’s eyes scanned Phil’s face and he seemed to notice something that made him wince. “It didn’t go well?”

Phil wished that Martyn looked more surprised. “It started out great. It was perfect. And then everything went wrong. Please don’t blame Dan. I know you’re protective of me, but he didn’t do anything wrong.”

Martyn sighed. “I didn’t say that. I just didn’t think it would be easy for you guys. I’ve been there since the beginning, remember? I saw the bruises that Dan had when he first showed up at your place.”

That was true – if anyone understood, it should be Martyn. “He… got scared. I think he had a panic attack. I tried to help, but I was just making it worse. He asked me to leave. It was all he asked of me, so I had to do it, but now I feel like shit. Like I abandoned him, and I’m so worried about him. I don’t know what to do.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” the woman said, and she placed a comforting hand on his arm.

“Could I ask your name?” Phil didn’t want to keep thinking of her as ‘the woman’.

She shot an exasperated glare at Martyn for not introducing her, but it was also full of fondness. The she shifted her kind eyes back to Phil. “I’m Cornelia, and I’m very happy to meet you. I’m so sorry you’ve had such a rough night.”

He gave he a slight smile and a nod, and then he looked at Martyn. “What are you thinking? Have I screwed everything up?”

Martyn started to shake his head, but then he stopped and seemed to think about it more carefully. “I guess that would depend on what you want to happen with Dan. I don’t think you’re going to lose him that easily. He cares about you a lot, I know that. I think he’ll always he your friend if you want him. But if you want more? I don’t know. Like I said, I don’t think that will be easy. I don’t know if…”

Phil nodded. Martyn was right. If Phil lost anything after the disaster of tonight, it would be that: his physical relationship with Dan. If it was going to work out, it wouldn’t be easy, but Phil thought it would be okay as long as he didn’t lose Dan completely. He needed him in his life, even if he was only a friend. He picked up the coffee that Cornelia had left before him, and took a sip, feeling the warmth of it spread through him. He gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks for this.”

“You’re welcome. Do you need anything else? Or should I make up the couch if you’d like to get some rest?”

“Don’t go to any trouble, but I probably should get some sleep. I have work tomorrow.”

“It’s no trouble.” Cornelia got up, and Phil averted his eyes as she started gathering the scattered clothes from around the couch.

Martyn caught his eye. “Did you leave your phone at your apartment?” Martyn was looking him over and seemed to have noticed that Phil was just wearing a t-shirt and flannel pajama bottoms, which didn’t have pockets. Phil nodded in answer, and his brother continued, “You could use my phone to call Dan. I don’t know if it’s a good idea, but I just thought I should offer…” Martyn tapped something that was resting on the countertop; his phone was resting there while it charged.

Phil bit his lip, staring at the phone while he thought about it, but Dan had asked him to go away. He didn’t think that Dan wanted a phone call from him right now, so he shook his head. He wouldn’t know what to say if Dan answered the phone anyway.

“Okay,” Martyn said. “If you change your mind, then feel free to use my phone.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does Phil's mom actually call him "Child"? Is this a thing? I have no idea but I see it used so often in fanfictions that I just decided to go with it.

The next morning, Phil stumbled cautiously out of the bathroom. He hadn’t seen his brother or Cornelia since he woke up and he wasn’t sure where they were or if they wanted to be disturbed. Would they mind if he made coffee? Should he make coffee for all of them?  
  
Phil decided that the nicest thing he could do, considering that he woke them up in the middle of the night, would be to make coffee for himself as quietly as possible. He was just settling down with a hot mug of instant coffee when Martyn’s phone started to buzz on the countertop. Phil jolted awake as if the coffee had been injected into his bloodstream. If the caller-ID said ‘Phil’ then it meant the call would be coming from his phone that was with Dan. Phil picked up the phone with a shaking hand. It said ‘Mum’.

He debated for a moment. There was nothing Mum disliked more than missed calls, so he decided to answer the phone to tell her that his brother was asleep. Phil pressed ‘answer’ as he stepped into the hallway to take the call. “Morning, Mum.”

“Hello, Child,” his mother said, using her traditional pet name for her sons. “Is this a good time to talk? I’m worried about your brother.”

“Oh no, what’s wrong?” After Phil said it, he realized that Mum must have mistaken him for Martyn since they had similar voices. He hadn’t meant to deceive her, but she was answering before he could explain.

“I just got off the phone with Linda. I don’t know if you know, but they broke up and now Phil is living with someone. Not even a person exactly – he’s living with a Neko, and Linda told me all of these awful things, and I’m…”

This was all his fault. Phil used to call her several times a week, but he stopped calling around when he lost his job because he was too embarrassed to tell her. Now she had to hear about his life from his ex, and she was worried about him. He should have called her. “Mum, it’s okay. It’s me, Phil. I’m sorry.”

There was a pause. “Phil? I thought I called Martyn. I…”

“I’m sorry, you did call Martyn. I spent the night at his house. I didn’t mean to make you think that I was him when I answered the phone.”

“Oh. Phil… the things Linda told me, are they true?”

“I don’t know what she said, but you should know that Linda and I didn’t leave things on good terms. She’s kind of upset with me right now. She doesn’t like the Neko she told you about. The Neko – his name is Dan – he’s a wonderful person. I think you’d like him. If Martyn had picked up the phone, I think he would have told you the same thing. So, please don’t be worried about me.”

There was more silence on the other end of the line. Finally, she said, “I need to think about this. We’ll talk about this later.”

“Mum, wait!” Phil shouted, but she had already hung up. Phil sighed into the empty hallway, but a moment later he was startled when the apartment door opened.

Martyn poked his head into the hallway. “Did I hear you say ‘mum’?”

Phil nodded. He walked back into the apartment. Cornelia was now in the kitchen, and both she and Martyn stared at him with expectant eyes, so he explained his conversation with Mum. He finished it by saying, “I should have told her myself. I should have called her to let her know what was going on in my life, but everything had fallen apart and I didn’t want to disappoint her. Then by the time I got everything back together again, Dan was there and he was all I was thinking about.”

“Phil, it’s going to be okay,” Martyn said. “You’ll explain it to her the next time you talk. This is Mum we’re talking about. She loves you. She’ll understand.”

Phil nodded. His mother had the remarkable ability to always see the good in situations and people. He couldn’t imagine that she wouldn’t love Dan once they met and she saw for herself how amazing he was. It would all work out.

“Have you spoken with Dan yet today?” Martyn asked.

Phil shook his head. “No… I haven’t figured out what to say yet. I have to go to work soon anyway, and maybe by the time I go home at the end of the day I’ll know what to do. Martyn, could I borrow some clothes?”

“Sure, of course,” Martyn held out his hand to take the cellphone from Phil.

Phil started to hand it over, but he pulled it back at the last second. “Actually, could I make one more call? I have to say something to Linda. She crossed a line by talking to Mum.”

Martyn’s eyes widened, but he nodded.

Phil noticed that Martyn hadn’t stopped staring at him. “What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just…” He shook his head and then smiled. “I think it’s good that you’re calling her. I’m not used to seeing you stand up for yourself.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’ve decided to start doing that sometimes. It was some advice Linda gave me actually. I don’t think she meant for it to be used against her, but here we go.” Phil stepped back into the hallway. He checked the phonebook since he wasn’t sure if he remembered her number correctly, and luckily Linda was in Martyn’s contacts. He called the number and waited while it rung.

She picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”

“Hi, Linda.”

“Martyn? Is something wrong? Is Phil okay?” She asked, which told him that Martyn was in her contacts, but they rarely spoke since a random call from him had alarmed her.

“It’s me Linda, not Martyn. It’s Phil.”

“Oh? Is your phone broken?”

“No, it’s at my apartment. I spent the night at my brother’s. Listen, Linda, I got a call this morning that wasn’t very pleasant. Honestly, I’m a bit annoyed with you at the moment.”

“Oh?” She repeated, this time in a flat voice.

“Can you imagine who called this morning? Someone who I was surprised to hear had been talking to you?” He went on crossly, not giving her a chance to respond. “Because I have no idea why my ex-girlfriend would want to talk to my mum.”

“Why is that so hard to comprehend?” Linda asked in an exasperated voice. “Your mum is a lovely person, and we got close. I think of her as a friend, and I don’t see why we had to stop talking just because you and I broke up.”

Phil sighed. “Fine, I’m not telling you who you can be friends with, but I have an issue with you discussing me. If you’re such good friends with my mum, then why am I the only thing you have to talk about? And not just me, but Dan too?”

“If you didn’t want your mother to hear about Dan from me, then maybe you should have told her yourself. Your mother was worried because she hadn’t heard from you in a while, so I just filled her in.”

“Mum called you?” He asked as he felt a stab of guilt.

There was more silence that answered his question.

“No, you called her, didn’t you? And you told her all kinds of horror stories about Nekos so now she’s scared for me and prejudiced against my boyfriend before she’s even met him. Is that right, Linda?”

“I… yes,” she took a deep breath, seeming to steady herself. “He’s your boyfriend?”

Phil shut his eyes in annoyance with himself – he shouldn’t have said that. “Maybe he is, but it’s none of your business. Linda, I know what you’re doing here. You know how close I am to my mum, and you thought that you could get her on your side against Dan, but it’s not going to happen. Dan isn’t going anywhere, so get over it.”

“Phil, he’s going to hurt you!”

“No, he’s not. Stop it. You’re the only one hurting me right now.”

“If things are so great, then why didn’t you have to sleep at your brother’s house last night? Phil, please. I’m just worried about you.”

“Don’t be. Don’t think of me at all. Stay away from me, Linda.” He hung up on her.

           

           

           

That night, Phil unlocked the door of his apartment. He had been exhausted by his shift, but his nerves were jangling at the thought that Dan would be in his arms soon. He hadn’t thought about what to say to him yet about last night, but he missed him so much that he was hardly worried about that anymore.

“Dan? It’s me.” Phil shouted as he locked the door – that’s when he realized that the chain hadn’t been across, which was odd. Dan always put the chain across. Had he left the chain off, anticipating Phil’s return? “Dan?”

The apartment was silent. Phil ventured further in, telling himself that maybe Dan was asleep or not answering because he was still upset. As he started turning on lights as he entered different room, he couldn’t help picturing burglars hiding around corners – home invasions were one of his greatest fears – but nothing was disturbed in the apartment, so he kept going. In the living room, there was one thing out of place: some of his CDs were pulled out in a stack beside his laptop and headphones. So, Dan had been listening to music while he was gone. He called Dan’s name again, but there was no response, so he continued to the last room he hadn’t checked.

Phil pushed open his bedroom door. The sheets were in a tangled mess, and Phil didn’t think that they had been touched since he had been in bed with Dan. He checked the closet and under the bed, though he had accepted by now that Dan wasn’t here. Dan had left. He had run away. It was Phil’s fault for scaring him, and now he had no idea where Dan was.

Phil sat on his bed. He wanted to keep moving – go out there and find Dan, but he had no idea where to start looking. Dan had barely left the apartment since the first time he walked into it a couple weeks ago, so he had no idea where Dan would go when he left. Was there some clue around here? A note maybe?

Phil was about to get up to check the kitchen again for a note when he noticed that his phone was on the bed beside him. He hadn’t left it there. It had been on the nightstand last night, so Dan had put his phone there. Phil picked it up, wondering what Dan could have used it for since he had access to the internet on Phil’s laptop. Phil checked the call’s log. There was only one call that had been accepted: a 3-minute phone call with Linda.

Phil’s stomach dropped.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you feel about cliffhangers?  
> Where do you think that Dan is?  
> Sorry, but I've been building up to this moment for so long that I can't help enjoying it a bit...


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a slight time jump -- the events of this chapter take place in the hours before Phil arrived home in the last chapter.
> 
> Also, oh my gosh, 100 kudos? You all are amazing ♡

It took some time, but Dan slowly became aware of the present. First, he noticed that he was cold, and then he noticed that he was naked. He wanted clothes, so he looked around Phil’s room. He got up to pull on a sweatshirt and pants from Phil’s dresser, which was when he noticed that it was now light outside. His stomach growled, so apparently it was time for breakfast.

Dan left the bedroom, expecting to see Phil in the kitchen. He was vaguely aware of what happened last night and that seeing Phil might not be a good thing, but Dan wouldn’t mind so much if Phil was holding a platter of pancakes.

Phil wasn’t there. There were no pancakes, so Dan poured himself a bowl of cereal. He glanced at the clock on the stove, but it was too early for Phil to be at work. So, where was he? Dan braced himself as he allowed his memories of last night to come forward. It hurt. He wanted to stop – to find some kind of distraction so that he didn’t have to think about this, but he kept going. He let the memories keep coming as he tried to remember where Phil had gone.

The worst part was that he wasn’t just remembering last night. His memories of Phil had become jumbled together with the things that had happened before he came to live here. If he took off his clothes, he expected to see the bruises; he could feel them as if they were there, fresh on his tender skin. He could see the faces of the men who had hurt him as if they were sitting across the table from him, and he could hear their voices taunting him as if they had just spoken.

Phil wasn’t here, though. Phil hadn’t hurt him last night, so he tried to remember.

Dan’s eyes flew open, and he spoke to the empty room, “I sent him away.” Dan sighed at his cereal and took another mouthful. So, he had kicked Phil out of his own apartment in the middle of the night. He wondered where Phil went, but he immediately realized that Phil would have gone to Martyn’s place. Martyn probably wasn’t his biggest fan at the moment, and Dan couldn’t blame him; Dan didn’t like himself much at the moment, either. Phil deserved someone so much better. He wished that he were normal. He wished that he wasn’t broken.

After putting his bowl in the sink to be washed, Dan wondered what he should do. He knew who Phil was with, but he didn’t have Martyn’s address and he wasn’t confident that he could get there on his own. So, there didn’t seem to be anything to do but wait for Phil to come home, and that might not be until after his shift. Dan looked around the apartment for a good distraction. The TV didn’t interest him. Mario Kart reminded him of Phil. YouTube reminded him of Phil, too. And then he found himself standing before Phil’s CD collection. Music was something different. Music was an old friend to him.

Dan grabbed a stack of CDs, Phil’s laptop, and a pair of headphones. He started with the classics that he was familiar with before checking out the more modern stuff. Phil had a lot of 90s pop, which was okay but Dan wasn’t the biggest fan of it. He tried rock next, which was much better. Phil had a lot of music by Muse, and Dan listened to it all. He remembered that Martyn said that they were Phil’s favorite band, and Dan decided that Phil had good taste. After Muse, he picked up the one rap CD he had found in Phil’s collection (a post-it on the CD told him that someone had lent it to Phil), and he started listening. Once he’d finished it, he decided that Kanye West was a genius and he wasn’t sure why Phil didn’t have more by him. Dan had just gotten up to double check Phil’s CDs for more when he heard Phil’s cell phone ringing in the next room. He hadn’t realized that Phil had left it here last night.

Maybe it was Phil calling from Martyn’s house? Dan ran into the bedroom to find the phone, which was still ringing. He had never talked on a phone before, but he had seen Phil do it, so he knew what to do. Just before he answered, he saw that the caller-ID said ‘Linda’, but he decided to answer it anyway. He didn’t think that Phil was with her, but it couldn’t hurt to pick up the phone – Dan wasn’t scared of her. “Hello?”

“Is this Dan?”

“Yes. Linda? What do you need? Phil isn’t here.”

“I know. I just got off the phone with him. He’s at Martyn’s.”

Dan absorbed this information. So, he was right about where Phil was. He wanted to call Martyn’s number now. So why was he on the phone with Linda? Then he realized a better question. “If you just spoke to Phil, then why did you call this number. You wanted to talk to me?”

“I think we got off on the wrong foot, so yes, I wanted to talk to you. Phil told me how important you are to him.”

“Phil told you about me?” he asked, his words dripping with skepticism.

“Yes. We talked this morning. He told me you’re dating now, but that he slept last night at his brother’s house. I’m sorry that things aren’t going well. Is there anything that I can do to help?”

Dan bit his lip, realizing how desperately lonely he was right now. He had never had any friends before Phil and his brother. Now since he screwed everything up last night, he had lost them both – at least for the moment – and he was completely alone. He had no one to talk to. “Linda, why would you want to do anything for me?”

“I admit, I don’t know you too well, but I care about Phil. He’s hurting because of what happened last night, and if there is anything I can do to help you guys work things out, I’m going to do it. I want Phil to be happy, don’t you?”

“I… yes, of course I do.” She had said that Phil was hurting? He felt an ache in his chest and he bit his lip again before admitting, “Phil is my first boyfriend. I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t have anyone to ask about relationships. But isn’t this weird for you? You’re Phil’s ex.”

“No, not weird at all. I don’t want Phil back. I’ve moved on and I just want to be his friend. Do you want to meet so that I can give you some advice? We could have lunch together. There’s a mall not far from Phil’s apartment. Do you know where it is?”

“Yes.” He knew the mall. When he was living on the streets, he had wandered around it. “So, I could meet you at the mall food court around 1pm. Does that work?”

“Sure, see you there.”

 

 

Dan left the apartment wearing a loose pair of sweatpants with his tail tucked down the leg. He was also wearing a knit hat to conceal his ears. It wasn’t very comfortable and his hearing was slightly muffled, but it was worth it not to draw unwanted attention. He looked human now, and he hadn’t forgotten how Linda felt about Nekos. While she had been nice enough on the phone, he didn’t expect her to remain so if they started drawing eyes in public.

Dan arrived at the food court, slouching slightly since the large crowd was making him uncomfortable. He kept to the walls, trying to go unnoticed by the screaming children, flirting teens, and the security guards passing through the crowd. The last time he was here a couple weeks ago, he had only braved the mass of people because he was starving and the food vendors were offering free samples. It was hard to see the appeal of it at the moment since he had eaten recently. Then, he saw a woman sitting in a table in the corner. Her back was to him, but he recognized her long dark hair and he approached her. “Hi, Linda.”

She looked up at him with wide dark eyes. She didn’t return his smile as he sat across from her. “Hello.”

He didn’t say anything as he felt her take in his appearance, her eyes lingering on the knit hat that hid his ears. He’d never met anyone for lunch like this, but something seemed to be wrong. Linda was acting differently from how she had been on the phone. Dan thought about leaving, but he wanted to hear more about what Phil had told her about their relationship and he wanted her advice, so he asked, “So, should we order something? I brought some money. Or did you want to talk first?”

“I…” Linda looked away and stopped trying to say anything as some men had approached their table.

One of the men, a stocky man with a ruddy complexion leaned closer to Linda and asked in a low voice, “Is this him?”

She nodded.

For a moment, Dan thought that maybe the man had come over to hit on Linda and he was asking if Dan was her boyfriend. Dan was preparing himself to play the act so that the man would leave her alone, but one of the man’s companions pulled something from his duffle bag – it was a collar and a leash. Dan felt his throat tighten with the memory of the collar that Phil had cut off him. “What is this?”

“Shut up, animal,” the ruddy man snapped before turning back to Linda. He reached a hand back to one of his companions, and he was handed a brown paper bag which he placed before Linda. Dan could see the shape of stacks of bills in the bag. “You want to count it?”

Linda started to reach for the bag with a trebling hand, but then she shook her head and put the hand back in her lap. “I don’t want to count the money. Just take him.”

Dan’s eyes started darting around the room. The table they were sitting at was in a corner and he couldn’t see a way past the three men; he was too big and clumsy to imagine that he could dart past them and get away. He looked at the men. “Listen, I don’t know what she told you, but I don’t belong to her. She can’t sell me.”

“I said shut up, bitch.” He snapped his fingers and the two men behind him rushed forward; one was holding a collar and the other was holding a muzzle.

Dan saw the muzzle and he realized that this was his last chance to use his voice, so he screamed bloody murder. The men overpowered him and by the time a security guard arrived Dan was collared and muzzled. He was trying to undo the leash, which had a padlock and he started making muffled sounds of protest when he saw the guard.

“What’s going on here?” The guard said as he warily eyed the scene.

“Nothing, officer,” the ruddy-faced man said with a smile. His teeth were bad, but he made a bold display of them.

The security guard ignored them and looked Dan in the eyes. “Is nothing happening here?”

Dan shook his head, pleading for help with his eyes.

“Don’t bother asking him. He’s not a person.” The ruddy-faced man removed Dan’s hat, revealing his ears. “I just bought him from the lady here, and this cat was a bit upset about the change in ownership. Not that it matters if he’s upset. He belongs to the company I work for now.”

“Company?” The security guard didn’t seem satisfied yet, and he kept looking around. He had noticed the bag of money sitting in front of Linda, who was silently crying. Dan started glaring at her because if anyone was crying now it should be him.

“I work for Neko House.” The ruddy-faced man presented a business card. “I can also show you the bill of sale which this lady has signed. Will that be necessary?”

The security guard sighed and shook his head. “Can I just ask that you not make this a regular thing? There are plenty of places where you can conduct this business, surely. You don’t have to disturb people who just want to eat a meal in the mall, do you?”

The man who now owned Dan smiled at the guard. “No, this was a one-time deal. I won’t be back, don’t worry.”

Dan made another sound of protest, but the guard ignored him completely now that he knew Dan was a Neko. No one was going to protect him. No one was going to stop this from happening. Dan felt disconnected from his body as the leash tugged at his neck until he stood up and left he table. He allowed himself to be dragged away since it seemed like the only other choice was resisting until he was choked.

It was all over. His life as he had known it was over.

 


	20. Chapter 20

Linda wasn’t answering her phone, which left Phil with no choice but to take a bus ride to her apartment. She didn’t buzz him in either when he pressed the button on a panel outside the main entrance of the building, and he had to sneak in behind someone. Finally, he was at her door. He still had her key, but he stopped himself from storming in unannounced since that wouldn’t help Dan. He pounded on her door. No answer. He pounded harder, making an annoyed neighbor poke her head out her door to glare at Phil. He ignored her and kept knocking.

Finally, the door swung open, and Linda snapped, “What?!”

Phil took a deep breath to begin shouting at her, but he noticed that she was shaking. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her cheeks were damp as if she had just dried them. Phil shook his head because whatever Linda was upset about didn’t matter; she was the last person who spoke to Dan, and Phil had a feeling that she had something to do with his disappearance. “I need to talk to you.” He glanced at the neighbor who was still watching them, and she was now glaring at Phil, seeming to suspect a domestic argument since Linda had been crying. “Can I come inside?”

Linda nodded and moved to the side so that he could enter her cramped apartment. He heard her sniffle as she shut the door. She stayed facing the door that she had pushed shut, as if she didn’t want to turn around and face him.

“Linda, where is Dan?” He watched as her slight shoulders stiffened at his words, and he became surer of himself. She had something to do with this.

“How would I know?” she said against the door. “He’s your boyfriend.”

“I came home from work and he wasn’t there. I had left my phone at home, and when I checked the call’s log I saw that he spoke to you this afternoon. Linda, where is he?”

She turned around to face him and there were tears in her eyes. “I was trying to… I thought I was…” His stomach felt like it was filled with lead. He wanted to cross the room and shake her shoulders until she made sense, but Phil waited for her to get control of herself. Finally, she went on, “I had convinced myself that he was bad for you and that he was hurting you, so I called a place that takes Nekos. I just didn’t picture that it would be so… awful. He was scared. He looked almost human.”

Phil still wanted to throttle her, but he took a calming breath. If he fell apart, he couldn’t help Dan. If he shouted at Linda, she wouldn’t help Dan. Right now she was showing remorse, and he had to appeal to that. “I’m sure he was scared. Do you know what his life was like before he lived with me? He was 17 when he was sold to a man who physically and sexually abused him. When I met Dan after he ran away from that man, he was covered in bruises. He didn’t talk for a day. He cried for almost a week. Of course he was scared if he thought he was going back to a place like that.”

Linda’s throat spasmed as she swallowed with difficulty. “It’s not… it’s not always like that, is it?”

“Does it matter? Dan and I want to be together, and he’s been taken away from our home. I know that you hate what he is, but he doesn’t deserve this. No one deserves this. Please Linda, help me bring him home.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, and for a moment he thought she was saying that she wouldn’t help, but then she walked to her kitchen counter. She handed him an envelope and a brown paper bag.

“What’s this?” he asked, but then he saw the letterhead of the papers folded in the envelope: Neko House.

“The bill of sale. And the bag is filled with the money they gave me for him. It wasn’t about the money! I wasn’t going to do anything with it. I just… well, now maybe you can take the paperwork and the money and undo it. There’s an address there. They aren’t too far from here.”

“I know,” he said, remembering that this was the shelter he looked up when Dan first came to live with him. He put the envelope in the pocket of the jacket he borrowed from Martyn. Linda looked like she wanted to say something else, but he was tired of talking to her, so he said, “I think I’ll be going now.”

 

 

It was 1:00AM by the time Phil got off a bus near Neko House. He hadn’t stopped at his apartment, so he was still holding the paper bag full of £10,000 and dreaming that he could hand it over and go home with Dan tonight. The streets were still full of people, as London streets always are despite the hour.

Finally, he pushed past a crowd waiting outside a club and found himself outside of Neko House. It was centered on the bottom floor of an old building. There were large glass windows facing the street, but the blinds were drawn and he couldn’t see anything but darkness when he peered through. The door was glass as well, but it didn’t move when he pushed it. He knocked and there was no answer. Their logo was etched into the glass – a cartoonish house like a child would draw with cat ears perched on the roof; he hated it.

Then Phil noticed something posted to the door below the logo: _Business hours are 9am-5pm weekdays._ Phil’s legs were shaking, so he dropped to his knees before the door. Dan was in there, but Phil couldn’t reach him. He had never felt so helpless in his life.

In his last rational moment, Phil called the number written on the door, hoping that someone inside would pick up the phone so that he could say he was at the door. His heart started racing when he heard a voice on the other end, but it was only an automated voicemail that asked him to leave a message.

In his frustration, Phil screamed into the receiver as he hung up his phone, ignoring the attention he was drawing from people passing on the street. He rolled off his knees to sit with his back against the door. He would have to stay here. He couldn’t leave Dan alone in this awful place. A breeze swept past, cutting through his thin jacket, and Phil shivered.

His phone started ringing and Phil checked it, hoping there was someone inside the Neko House returning his call, though he knew that was unlikely. It was Martyn, and he was the only person Phil could see himself willing to talk to right now. His voice was rough from screaming and he answered the phone in a scratchy voice, “Hello?”

“Oh! Phil, sorry, I hope I didn’t wake you. I was just worried after yesterday and I couldn’t sleep without checking in. Are you and Dan alright?”

“No, we’re about as far from alright as you can get.” Phil told him the whole story, ending with the plan to return the money and undo the sale. “But they’re closed right now and won’t reopen until 9. I can’t imagine what Dan is going through right now.”

“We’ll get him out, mate. Don’t worry. So, you’re just sitting in the street? With a bag of money? Next to a busy club in the middle of the night?”

“Yes, why do you ask? You don’t think that’s a good idea?”

Martyn laughed. “Well, no. Phil, I know you’re trusting, but this is beyond that. You’re tempting fate. If you give me the address, I’ll drive over and pick you up. You can sleep at my place again.”

Phil was reluctant to leave, but logically he knew that sitting here wasn’t helping Dan and he could not lose the money. He gave Martyn the address and then asked, “Is Cornelia there? I hate the idea of ruining her night again.”

“No worries about my night, right?” He talked over Phil’s protest, “I was just teasing you, you know I’m happy to help. No, Cornelia is at her place tonight. She really liked you, by the way.”

“I liked her, too. Hey, thanks for everything.”

 

Phil woke up the next day just after 8:00AM on Martyn’s couch. He realized that his phone was ringing, which must have roused him from sleep, but he reached out too late to answer it. A moment later, a _ping_ tells him that the caller left a message, and Phil listened. Travis told him crossly in the message that Phil was late for work, and that if he didn’t arrive within the hour then he would be fired.

Phil debated calling back for a moment. He could tell Travis that he had a family emergency or that he was sick, but Travis never accepted those responses without a debate, and Phil didn’t want to argue right now to keep his job. It wasn’t even the fact that he didn’t like his job – right now, he wanted to focus all of his attention on saving Dan, so he dismissed his job as a triviality.

Phil ran into Martyn outside of the bathroom. Martyn gave him an anxious smile. “I was just coming to wake you. I left you some clean clothes you can borrow in the bathroom. Um, I’m still scheduled for work today, but I can ask off if you want me to come with you. Do you want me to?”

Phil shook his head. “There’s no need. I can do this. Besides, I don’t want your boss to be annoyed with you – one of us might as well keep our jobs.”

Martyn’s eyes widened. “Travis fired you again?”

Phil nodded. “I don’t care. I just want to get Dan home.” Phil started to dance in place, unable to stand still as he imagined the seconds ticking while he stood still in the hall – was it 9:00AM yet?

Martyn seemed to take Phil’s dancing as an urgent need for the bathroom, so he stepped aside. “I’ll let you go, then.”

Phil darted past Martyn, mentally planning the bus route that he would take to reach Neko House.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that someone in London would probably ride the Tube, but I'm an American and I can't wrap my mind around how the Tube works, so in my story Phil rides buses. Also, the scene where Phil is standing in a city in the middle of night with a bag of money, not even comprehending the fact that someone might try to steal that money? Literally would be me (I'm the most trusting person in the whole world).
> 
> How are we all feeling about Linda? Has she redeemed herself by feeling remorse? Is it possible to be redeemed after doing something so horrible to Dan? I hope that this doesn't come across an abrupt shift in character, since I haven't been writing her as an inherently evil person -- Phil wouldn't have dated her for 6 months if she were completely evil. I tried to hint at her feeling remorse in the scene where Dan was being taken away and she was crying. Anyway, this is it for Linda, as her physical presence in the story is now over.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I decided to post early because everyone seems to have been loving this lately. I think that this is one of my favorite chapters of this story. I hope you like it <3

At 8:55AM, Phil was pacing before the door Neko House. The blinds were now drawn back and a receptionist was tracking Phil’s movements as he walked back and forth, staring longingly into the window. She got up, seemingly out of annoyance, and unlocked the front door. He followed her back to the front desk.

“Can I help you, sir?” she asked through her teeth.

He passed her the bill of sale. “I’m here about this Neko. He shouldn’t have been sold to you. Can I speak to someone about this please?”

She tapped her red-painted fingertips on her desk as she read. Finally, she decided to be helpful and she picked up her phone. “Reg, I have someone here asking about a Neko we recently bought. Can you talk to him?” Phil couldn’t hear what Reg said, but a moment later the woman hung up. She gave Phil a smile that was so phony he thought it might crack. “Reg is sending someone to escort you to his office. Feel free to take a seat while you wait.”

Phil glanced at the plush sofas and magazines in the waiting area, but he had no desire to rest there – he couldn’t imagine that Dan was resting comfortably in a similar place right now. Before Phil could walk far from the receptionist’s desk, a man entered the room. He had a ruddy complexion and his eyes searched the room until he found Phil, so this must be the man who was sent to bring him to Reg.

The man extended a hand to him. “Hello there, I’m Shaw. If you’ll just follow me?”

After they shook hands, Phil followed the ruddy-faced man. They walked down several hallways of what appeared to be a normal office building where people were just settling into their desks with their morning coffee. They came to an office where Shaw knocked briefly before opening the door. Shaw announced, “Man to see you.”

Phil allowed himself to be escorted to the desk of a man with ginger hair that was going silver at the temples. The man rose from his desk and shook Phil’s hand with another phony smile. Phil was getting tired of these smiles. He wanted to see a smile with dimples and freckles that was accompanied by sparkling brown eyes with laughter in them. He wanted Dan, but this was the only way to get him back, so he returned the man’s smile and shook his hand. “Hi, call me Reg. I hear that you are here about a Neko we bought?”

“Yes, hello. I’m Phil.” He handed Reg the bill of sale. “I’m here about this Neko.”

Reg looked at the paperwork and then glanced at the ruddy-faced man who was leaving the office. “Shaw, you bought this one. Would you sit with us while we discuss this?”

As they settled into the chairs across from Reg’s desk, Phil remembered what Linda had said about Dan’s sale: _I just didn’t picture that it would be so… awful. He was scared._ What had Shaw done to Dan? It took all of Phil’s self-control to stop himself from openly glaring at Shaw.

Reg looked up from the paperwork. “Okay, it says here that we purchased a young male Neko yesterday afternoon from a Ms. Linda Masters. This is the original bill of sale that we made out to her. What are your concerns?”

“Dan wasn’t hers to sell. He was living with me. Linda is my ex-girlfriend and she had no right to do this. I’ve talked to her, and if you call her she will corroborate all of this. Please, I got the money from her.” He put the paper bag on the desk. “It’s all there. Check it. Please, just take your money back and let Dan go.”

Reg looked at the bag and then back to Phil. He shook his head. “We don’t sell Nekos for the same amount that we purchase them for. If you want him, you’re going to have to pay the standard price.”

Phil stared at him in disbelief. “But… he’s been here for less than a day. Just undo the sale. I don’t want to buy him, just take him back. The sale wasn’t legal!”

Reg arched an eyebrow. “And just how did you come to own this Neko? Was that legal?” The man watched the blood drain from Phil’s face without comment. He picked up a file on his desk and opened it. “Yes, he’s only been here for a day, but we have already found out some interesting things about him. We don’t normally check for microchips, but he matched the description of a Neko that was reported missing a few weeks ago, and the microchip matched.”

Phil fisted his hands to stop them from shaking. Oh God, where was Dan now?

Reg hadn’t looked up yet from the contents of the folder. “So, we knew where he came from, but the person who reported him as missing hadn’t offered a reward. You can imagine our annoyance. Not only would there be no profit from this purchase, but we were also about to be out £10,000.” He glanced at Shaw with a shake of his head before looking at Phil. “So, this would have been a very bad investment, had we contacted the person who reported him missing and returned him.”

Phil let out a breath. “You still have him? He’s here?”

Reg nodded and shut the folder. “So, don’t accuse me of being disingenuous when I offer to sell him back to you. Yes, I’m making a bit of a profit, but legally I should just return him to his proper owner. Would you rather buy him from me?”

Phil nodded. “How much?”

“£20,000.”

Phil’s jaw dropped. The paper bag only held half of what he needed. “I… don’t have it. I mean, I don’t have it right now. But I’ll get it!”

Reg shrugged. “I suggest you hurry. We’re going to be listing him on our website any day now and he’s cute so I’m expecting a lot of interest. Technically, we’re running the risk that his original owner will see the listing on our website and claim him. I’d much rather sell him to a paying customer like you, so get the money soon if you want him.”

“Can’t you hold off on making the listing?”

Reg shook his head. “I don’t really see the point since you say you don’t have the money. His owner could be searching shelters like mine, so I want to get him out of here as quickly as possible.”

Phil swallowed heavily past a lump in his throat. He might never see Dan again… then he had a thought. “Could I visit him before I leave?”

 

 

Shaw led Phil down a flight of stairs to a different part of the building. It no longer looked like an office – it resembled a jail. The walls were bricks painted a pale yellow and they started passing rooms the size of closets that had actual barred cell doors. The occupants of the cells had no privacy from the people who walked by, and Phil only glanced into the first couple cells where the Nekos sat cowering on beds. He flushed and looked away, unsure why he was embarrassed. Perhaps it was because he hated walking in this role – just another potential owner coming to look at the stock for sale. This building disgusted him.

As he passed another cell, looking pointedly away, a woman grabbed his sleeve. Her long nails dug in and refused to let go as he tried to step away. “Um, excuse me?” he said.

She pressed her face against the bars, which weren’t wide enough to fit her whole head. She tugged on Phil’s shirt to pull him a step closer. She had long blond hair, but her ears were a light shade of brown. He wondered if it was natural or if she dyed her hair. “If you buy me, I’ll fuck you. I’ll fuck you well, you won’t regret it. Just get me out of here.”

“No, thank you. Please let go?” He felt sick.

“Shove off, Nancy,” Shaw said, placing a hand on her wrist. She recoiled from his touch and walked back into the shadows in her cell. Shaw turned to Phil. “Your boy is a couple cells down that way.”

Phil’s heart leapt. He jogged a bit further down the hallway, looking left and right into cells, but it was too dark to see who was inside (the only lights were in the hallway, not in the cells). Irrational panic set in, making him think that maybe Dan had already been sold, so he shouted, “Dan? Are you here?”

Someone moved in the cell to his left, flinging himself so fast against the bars on the cell that Phil jumped in surprise. The Neko inside was wearing white scrubs and his brown curly hair was wild, so it took Phil a second to recognize Dan, but he knew the large hand with the tanned skin that reached for him. Then Phil tackled the cell door that separated them with the same enthusiasm, as if they could part the iron if they pressed their bodies hard enough.

Dan’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him as close as possible, and Phil was stroking Dan’s neck and his hair. Phil was torn between kissing Dan and looking at him, but he decided on the latter and checked his face for signs of harm. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, so he could tell that the Neko had been crying recently. He asked, “Are you okay? Have they hurt you?”

Dan shook his head. “No, I’ve just been here. In this cell. Phil, how did you find me?”

“Linda. I saw on my phone that she had called, and you’d talked to her. I confronted her and she confessed to everything. Dan, I’m—”

Dan cut him off, “I’m so sorry. I was so stupid. I shouldn’t have trusted her. I let her lure me out of the house. This is all my fault.”

“Dan, it’s okay. It’s going to be okay.” Phil tried to hold him closer.

He shook his head and tears started rolling down his cheeks. “No, it’s not. I’m… they’re going to… It’s over, Phil. I’m going to be sold to someone. That’s why you’re here, right? To say goodbye?”

Tears burned in Phil’s eyes. He hadn’t come to say goodbye, but it might be true. If he didn’t get the money before Dan was listed on the website, then this might be the last time they spoke. Phil was an optimist, but it was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel right now. He had to be strong for Dan though, so he held the tears in and shook his head. “No, I’m…” his voice was choked and he had to clear his throat before going on. “I’m not here to say goodbye. I’m here to tell you that you’re coming home.”

“Now?” Dan’s eyes widened. He looked at the bars between them as if he was expecting them to vanish at any moment.

Phil winced at the desperate hope that he had sparked in Dan. “No, Kitten, not yet. I need to get the…”

Dan sighed and finished Phil’s sentence, “Money. You need to get the money, right? No, Phil, you can’t do this. I know I’m expensive and you don’t have the money. Please.”

“Please what? Let you go? No. No! I’m saving you and there’s nothing you can do to stop me, so just deal with it.”

Dan leaned his forehead against the bars and closed his eyes. “Okay. I guess I will just deal with it because I can’t fathom the alternative. I’m so scared, Phil.”

Phil moved his fingers in what he hoped were soothing circles on the back of Dan’s neck. “I know. I’m scared too, and I’m not even the one in the cell. I can’t lose you. I can’t picture my life without you.”

Dan gave him a sad smile. “Come on, you’ve only known me for about two weeks, right? You could just go back to the life you had before you found me in the rain.”

Phil shook his head. “No. I think we both know that it’s too late for me.”

Dan narrowed his eyes. “We do? No, what are you talking about?”

Phil bit his lip and hesitated. He wanted to say this in their home when they were happy and safe, but realistically he knew there was a chance that time would never come. If this really was the last time he saw Dan, he had to tell him. “I can’t go back to my life before I knew you. I already love you. I have for a while now. I love you.”

Dan pressed harder against the bars. “I do, too. I love you so much. You believe me, right? I was worried about what you were thinking, since that last night we had together. You know I love you, don’t you?”

Phil nodded. “Yes, please don’t worry about that night. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Phil leaned in, and it was awkward with the bars between them, but they were able to brush lips. Dan tasted like salt, and Phil realized that the taste was from the tears drying on his skin. Phil’s vision was blurry with his own tears when he pulled away, and he reached under his glasses to rub his eyes and then his nose. “Sorry, I’m like a faucet. Ugh, gross.”

Dan gave a slight laugh. “I don’t mind.”

A sound of a throat clearing made them both jump. Dan still had both of his arms wrapped around him, but Phil turned to see that Shaw had been standing in the hall the whole time. Phil blushed since he had assumed that Shaw left, but he would have still done everything the same knowing that Shaw was there; Dan was more important.

Dan saw who was standing there and started trembling, so Phil tightened the one arm that he still had wrapped around the Neko. “What is it?” he asked Shaw.

Shaw looked at his watch. “I was supposed to escort you here and then escort you out of here. I’ve given you enough time. I have things to do, so can you wrap this up?”

“What? Got an appointment to buy another teenager?” Phil snapped.

“Phil,” Dan whined in warning.

Shaw’s ruddy face darkened a shade, and Phil took a calming breath. He said, “I’m sorry. What I meant to say is if you’re busy, maybe you can take us somewhere? There must be rooms around here. Couldn’t you leave us there, so that we can talk for a while? Please?”

Shaw shook his head. “There’s no room. This isn’t a social club. Reg made an exception for you with this one visit. We don’t usually let people down here until there’s been a credit check first.”

His grip tightened on Dan. He had been hoping that he could come back if it took a while to get the money. This could be it. If he didn’t get the money, then this was the last time he would ever see him.

Dan gave a hiccupping sob, and Phil turned his attention back to him. Dan shook his head as tears rolled down his cheeks. “Just give me a second. I can get control of myself. If this doesn’t go well and this is the last time you see me, I don’t want to look like a mess.”

Phil reached up to touch the cheeks that were blotchy from crying. “You look beautiful. And you’re going to see me again. It’s going to be fine. I promise.”

Dan nodded, his face still in Phil’s palm. “Even if I have to run away from whoever buys me – I’ve done it before – I’ll come back to you.”

“Don’t worry about that. It won’t come to that. I’m going to come for you. I love you.”

Shaw appeared at Phil’s side, silently urging them apart.

“I love you, too.” Dan said as he drew his arms back into the cell.

“I love you,” Phil said again and he withdrew his arms. He looked into the tiny cell where he was leaving Dan. There was a bed in the corner with a thin sheet, and he knew the bed was too small for Dan to stretch out on it. A toilet was exposed in the corner and a plate of food was untouched on the floor. This was like a jail sentence that Dan had done nothing to deserve. How could Phil leave him here? He wanted to break down the bars and free him, but he was powerless. He could do nothing but walk away, his feet dragging on the floor with every step.

 


	22. Chapter 22

Martyn opened the door of his apartment for Phil with an expectant smile on his face. His smile fell when he saw Phil’s expression. He guided Phil to the living room, made him sit on the sofa, and he said, “Tell me what happened.”

Phil thought it would be difficult to explain, but it all came out in a rush. He had tucked the paper bag of money into the zipped jacket, and he pulled out the bag, telling Martyn that he only had half of the money he now needed to buy Dan. He kept his voice steady until he got to the description of where Dan was now being held, and Martyn handed him a paper napkin to dry his eyes. “Thanks.” Phil sniffled and tried to compose himself. “I have to keep it together for now. I can’t help Dan if I fall apart.”

“Right. Just remember that you’re not alone. I care about Dan, too. I’m here to help. So, we’ve got a deadline of a day or two to raise £10,000?”

Phil looked around Martyn’s apartment, as if hoping to see some valuable collectables materialize, but Martyn wasn’t much better off than Phil – living in London was expensive. “Is it too much to hope that you won the lotto since I last saw you?”

Martyn grimaced. “The only thing I have that’s worth any money is my car, and not that much money anyway. I could maybe get £2,000 for it, maybe 3.”

“I couldn’t let you do that, you’ve had that car since college.”

“Exactly, I’ve had it for ages and you’ve only had 2 weeks with Dan. I’m happy to give it up so that you two can be together. I only wish my car was worth more – I love it, but it’s kind of a wreck. So, we’re about £8,000 short. Any ideas?”

“I can sell the Muse tickets! That’s about £120 for the pair. I will also be getting my last paycheck from the stationary store… which should be about the same amount. I’ve… got nothing else. I’m completely broke. Even my credit card is maxed out.” Phil held his forehead in his hands. He could feel a headache coming on. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I’m sorry.” Martyn bit his bottom lip. “I wish I was a more successful. You’re supposed to be able to come to your big brother in times like this, but I’ve always cared more about doing what I love than making a lot of money. I’ve let you down.”

“No, Mar. You’re the best. I couldn’t ask for a better brother. I… I’ve got to call Mum and Dad to ask if I can borrow the money, don’t I?”

Martyn nodded. “I can’t think of any other way. Was that last conversation you had with Mum really that bad?”

“Yeah, pretty bad.” Phil frowned as he took his phone out of his pocket and looked at it. “She’s not going to appreciate the fact that I don’t call her for a couple weeks, and the first time I call her I’m asking for money. I can’t put this off until we’re on better terms though. There’s no time. Maybe if I put in on speakerphone and you talk too it will go better?”

Martyn shrugged. “Worth a shot. Are we doing this now? Do you know what you want to say?”

“I’m going to wing it.” Phil dialed the number, but it went to voicemail. He hung up and tried again. No answer.

He expected Martyn to say Mum was probably busy, but he said what they were both thinking, “She must still be cross with you. Want to try Dad?”

“I might have to, but I want to talk to her. You know Dad has her manage the money, so no matter what I say he is just going to say that he has to ask her. I don’t want him to pass along my message – I want to explain what happened.”

Martyn took his phone out and dialed the same number; Mum picked up on the second ring, and Martyn put the call on speakerphone.

“Child?” There was wariness in her voice, which was understandable given that Phil had been using Martyn’s phone the last time they talked.

“It’s both of us,” Martyn said. “Phil and I want to talk to you.”

She sighed and continued in a resigned voice, “I guess not every mother can say the same about her sons, so I should be grateful. What is it?”

Martyn looked at Phil who stared at him with wide eyes since his mind had gone blank and he didn’t know where to start. Martyn nodded in understanding and he said, “Something happened. Mum, I know you liked Linda when she and Phil were dating, but she did something really evil and we need your help putting things right.”

“Oh.” There was a pause. Then she said, “I would believe it. I know Linda has a darker side to her, but I always tried to see it in a good way, like maybe her dark could balance out the light in… in someone else. She did something? Are you boys okay?”

“No, but someone else is much worse,” Phil said, quickly finding his voice. He had become distracted by his mother’s view of his past relationship. He needed a distraction right now, so he fixated on it. “Mum, why did you think I needed balancing out? Why did you think Linda was right for me because she had this side to her?”

“You want to talk about this now? Um, okay. I thought it made her strong. I thought you needed someone like her. Just for the little things. Like, if you were in standing in line and someone cut line in front of you. You’re the type of person who ignores things like that, but Linda would shout at the person cutting in line until he stopped. I always thought you needed someone like Linda, so she could look out for you. I see now that I was wrong.”

“Yes, you were. I didn’t need someone to be strong for me. I needed someone who I could be strong for.” Phil took a calming breath because he couldn’t put this off any longer. “Mum, she did something to Dan. She sold him to a Neko shelter. I talked to the people at the shelter but explaining the situation didn’t do any good. They want money. They’re listing Dan for sale on their website in a day or two.”

“Dan has been… Oh, Phil, I’m so sorry. How much do they want for him?”

His mother’s soothing tone had calmed him, but he had to admit, “Mum, it’s a lot of money.”

Martyn took over with a description of their finances, plans to sell things, and how much they still needed. Mum listened without comment and then she sighed; Phil’s spirit fell at the sound. She said, “Your father and I just spent all of our savings remodeling the house. We don’t have anything accessible right now – it’s all invested in things like the timeshare. Oh, the timeshare in Florida! We could sell it. But… but it might take some time. I can contact an agent. Maybe if we let it go for cheap, just the amount you need for Dan, then maybe an offer will come in faster. I think it will take a bit longer than a day or two.”

“It’s okay, Mum,” he managed to get past the choking sensation in his throat. “I appreciate it, I really do. I know this is the best you can do, so thank you. This is just going to have to work. It’s the best we can do. We’re just going to have to hope that the money gets here in time before… before anything happens to Dan.”

“Phil, are you going to be okay?” Mum asked.

“I’m looking after him,” Martyn assured her, and it made Phil’s cheeks flush as he’d returned to the role of the one who needed help and protection in her eyes. He had assured her that he could look after himself, but he supposed that asking her for money wasn’t a good way to prove it.

“What about after? After we have this all worked out and Dan is safe?” Mum asked. “Phil, I know you lost your job and I’ve been worried about you. How are you going to pay your rent? Where are you and this Neko going to live?”

“Um, I’m working on that. I’ll find another job. I’m just… I’m just having trouble focusing on anything else besides getting Dan back right now. I can’t think of anything else. Please, I hate relying on you and my brother like this. I don’t want you to think of me as a helpless child. I just feel like half a person right now. I feel like the world is ending. My head is pounding, my thoughts are fuzzy, and it feels like someone rubbed steel wool on my soul. I can’t think about where I’m going to be living in about a week when my landlord knocks on my door and I have nothing. I don’t have it in me to worry about anything else right now.”

“You really like him,” Mum said in a soft voice.

“Yeah, I do. I love him,” Phil said. Martyn was staring at him, but Phil avoided eye contact. He didn’t want to start crying again, and he was getting very close to losing it.

“Come home, Phil. Once this is all settled, come home. You can stay here until you get your feet back on the ground. Your room is the same – we didn’t touch it during the remodel.”

He resisted asking her if they didn’t touch it because they were expecting him to fail at his life in London. This conversation made him insecure, but that was his issue. Mum was being wonderful about everything. “When you talk about me moving home, is that just me or would Dan be welcome to come with me?”

“Of course. I would want to meet him anyway.” There’s another pause, and when she spoke again it was in a different tone. Her voice had an authority behind that he recognized as 'mother’ though he was a 22-year-old man. “Listen, Phil, this is something I want you to do. I’m not going to pretend this is an ultimatum: I could say ‘Come home from London or I won’t lend you the money you need’, but that would be horrible of me. Of course I’m going to help you get Dan back, but this is something I want. Please move back home. This is what I’m requesting, since I’m helping you.”       

Phil looked at Martyn as if he might have a clue why Mum wanted this, but Martyn shook his head. Phil asked, “Mum, where is this coming from? Why is it so important to you?”

“I… let you down. I didn’t look out for you when I should have. I knew since you were a child how special and different you were, and that you would need to walk a different path from most people to be happy. You’re so creative, Phil. I can’t let you stay behind a cash register in a shop, letting the life drain out of you. You’re not happy. You won’t be happy if you take another job like that to pay your rent for that apartment. Come home and take some time to figure your life out.”

“I didn’t know you knew I was unhappy,” he said, thinking back on all the times he tried to fake it while talking to her. He never could fool her.

“That YouTube thing used to make you happy. Did you want to start doing that again?”

“Actually, yes. Dan just encouraged me to film a video the other day. I was going to edit it and post it on my channel – see if I still have any subscribers after this long unexplained hiatus. He wants to be a YouTuber, too.”

“That’s wonderful. You two could move home and work on that. I just want you to be happy, Phil. So, will you do this for me? Will you move back home?”

Phil looked at his brother for any signs of judgement, but Martyn nodded. So, his brother agreed with her. “Okay. I’ll do it. I’ll start packing when I get back to my place.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few notes: 
> 
> 1) The part where Phil's mother talks about him being a creative person suffering in a retail job -- I'm not saying all creative people don't do well in that situation. I used to work in retail, and I couldn't write when I did, so that's more of a personal reflection. 
> 
> 2) Sorry if this chapter wasn't very interesting. I know not everyone is into the number dump/accounting/ledger managing chapters of literature. I wrote this because personally those are some of my favorite chapters in books like Moll Flanders, Robinson Crusoe, and Outlander. I love the scenes where characters empty out their pockets to see what items they have on them to tackle the next task; however, I promise the next chapter has more action in it, so please be patient :) .
> 
> 3) I have been looking over the previous chapters and found typos. I swear I re-read every chapter 5-10 times before I post in, so I don't know so many typos slipped through (it isn't natural for me to write in past tense). I'm currently going over the previous chapters and correcting typos as I find them. Sorry you all had to read that *dies of shame*


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today I'm also posting chapter 1 of "Believe in Me", the kitsune story that I've been working on for the past few weeks. If you like my writing, please check it out and let me know what you think, thanks :)  
> (No, the other story is not going to distract me from working on this one, "Stray Cat" is complete).

Martyn told Phil that he was welcome to stay longer, but Phil needed to be doing something, even if it meant facing the space that now felt so much like it belonged to Dan. He went home that afternoon after picking up some empty boxes from a store, which he could use for packing.

As he entered his apartment, he felt the weight of the truth that he had told Dan – there was no way that he could return to the way things were before he met Dan. Dan had been firmly rooted in Phil’s life, and then he had been ripped away, leaving a gaping hole. He hadn’t brought anything with him when he moved in but a black t-shirt and jeans, but somehow his presence had transformed the apartment into a place that Phil thought of as ‘theirs’.

Maybe it was his way of tidying by dropping stacks of paper behind tables. Maybe it was how Phil now thought of half of his mugs as Dan’s because he knew they were Dan’s favorites. Whatever the reason, Phil looked around the place where he had lived for over a year and he had no emotional attachment to it. He had turned on the lights when he walked in, but there was no glow to it anymore. The heat was on, but the room felt cold. This wasn’t home.

Then Phil realized what would make him feel better. He started setting up empty boxes in the living room, and then he started tossing things into them – collectibles, DVDs, videogames. A couple hours and a half-dozen packed boxes later, the room was looking different and Phil felt something ease in his chest, feeling like he was making progress. He sat on the sofa, which he had been avoiding because of the obvious signs of Dan in this area. Everything was here the way he had left it – the laptop, the headphones, and the CDs he had been listening to. If Phil had wanted to fool himself, he could almost believe that Dan had just stepped out of the room, and he would return at any moment to listen to more music.

Phil’s chest was starting to ache again. There was something that would probably make it worse, but Phil couldn’t resist. He turned on his laptop and pulled up the files from the video he recently filmed. There was a scene he had cut from the video, but he hadn’t deleted it yet. It only took him a few minutes to find the first take of him announcing Draw Phil Naked, which was followed by Dan laughing uncontrollably. He played the sound back a few more times as tears started rolling down his cheeks. He hugged a pillow against his chest, which helped a bit.

On impulse, Phil published the edited AmazingPhil video on his channel. He didn’t care about it at the moment, but Dan had wanted him to film it, so he felt like he was fulfilling an unspoken promise by completing the video. He hopped onto a ticket resale website and listed the Muse tickets for sale, and then he turned off his laptop, feeling ready to tackle the rest of the room. He started with the CDs that Dan had left out. 

He continued packing for the rest of the day, only stopping to eat some leftover pizza from the fridge for dinner. His muscles were sore and he knew he couldn’t keep going any longer tonight, so there was only one thing left to decide: was he going to sleep on the couch or in the bed? He eyed the couch, but all he could think about was kissing Dan after he said that he liked him, and there was also the fact that the couch was a bit too short for him to stretch out.

He walked to his room and collapsed on his bed, holding his breath for a moment, but it didn’t help – as he finally inhaled, all he could smell was Dan’s musky scent. Tears pricked in his eyes again and he buried his face in a pillow. As he did, his hand brushed against something under the pillow. Curious, he lifted the pillow and found the turtle notebook that he had given Dan. Phil turned on the bedside light so that he could take a look.  
  
He flipped through the notebook. On one page, Dan had just doodled a ‘s’-shaped pattern a few times. Even if this was all Phil found in the notebook, it made Phil smile fondly as he ran his hand over where the pen had indented the paper with the design Dan traced. On the next page though, Dan had written something. It was a plan for a series that he had titled ‘reasons why Dan’s a fail’ and there were a few video ideas bulleted: butterfingers, procrastination, mumbling. He had put some talking points beside the ideas, too. It looked like he wanted to include sketches in the videos.

Phil turned the page to see a video idea that was a bit more fleshed out. He had expected a funny sketch from the series on the previous page, but this was Dan’s idea for his introductory video where he explained a bit about who he was and what kind of videos he wanted to make. He had almost the whole thing scripted, including actions like *cracks party popper*. There was one particular line that made Phil’s heart squeeze; Dan wrote that he never thought he’d have the confidence or motivation to do anything like this, but a really good friend he made recently persuaded him to give it a shot.

Phil shut the notebook, deciding not to invade Dan’s privacy anymore. Dan was coming back. He was going to write in this notebook, and he was going to make the videos he had planned. Phil hadn’t doubted that Dan was brilliant and funny and creative – the book had just provided more proof of all of that. It had assured him of something else, though. Dan was meant to do YouTube. It was his destiny.

Phil shut off the light and settled into his pillows. He might actually be able to get some sleep tonight because he felt a bit better about this. He felt sure that the universe had plans for Dan now, so he wasn’t going to be sold. The universe couldn’t be that cruel.

 

 

Once Phil had his morning cup of coffee, he couldn’t resist calling his mother to see if she’d had any luck selling the timeshare. She picked up after a few rings, and he heard her yawning before saying, “Morning, Child.”

“Morning. Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, the coffee just hasn’t kicked in yet. How are you?”

“Okay.” He glanced around the living room that had growing towers of boxes in it. Phil didn’t own that many things and it wouldn’t be long until he was done. “I’m glad you suggested that I start packing. It’s been good to have a distraction.”

“That’s what I was hoping. Phil, I know you called to find out about the timeshare, so I’m sending you an email now. I spoke to an agent and she already has it listed on a website, complete with pictures. We’ve set the price low and are expecting the offers to come in soon. The only thing that’s going to take a bit of time is filing the paperwork and transferring the money. Alright? It’s going to be okay, Philly.”

He exhaled a shaky breath. “Thank you, Mum. You’re amazing. Really, I know how much this timeshare meant to you. And Martyn with his car… you’re both incredible.”

“Oh, I spoke to your brother. He sold his car last night for £2,500. So, everything is going well. You know we’re happy to do it. Yes, I loved my timeshare and your brother loved his car, but of course these things don’t matter as much as the wellbeing of someone who you love. He’s already family in my eyes and we need him to be safe.”

His chest felt warm, as if he’d just taken a big swallow of his hot coffee. “Thank you, Mum.” She made a contented noise and then he heard her yawn again. Phil laughed. “I’m going to let you go. Sounds like you need more coffee. Bye, Mum.”

“Bye, Child.”

After he hung up, he checked his email. He found the one she just sent him with the link to the website where the timeshare was listed for sale. He wanted to see the pictures. It was almost like a second home to him. The timeshare was in Florida near Disney World. Once a year, Mum, Dad, Martyn, and Phil would stay there for a week or two in the summer. They had just been talking a few weeks ago about the upcoming trip this year, which wouldn’t be happening now. Phil flipped through the pictures of the house that he would never stay in again, saying goodbye.

As he started to close his browser, Phil thought of something else. The man at Neko House said Dan wouldn’t be listed for a day or two. He had talked to that man yesterday. Phil hoped Dan wouldn’t be on the website until tomorrow, but he had to check to be sure. He opened the website for Neko House and clicked on the tab labeled ‘buy’. There was a section for new Nekos to the website.

He clicked on it, but as the page was loading Phil shut his eyes, unwilling to see the contents. Finally, he took a calming breath and opened his eyes. There was a photo of a woman with blond hair and brown ears. Phil recognized her as the woman who had grabbed his shirt when he walked past her cell, and she glared indignantly at the camera. Had Shaw called her Nancy? With an almost morbid curiosity, he started reading and saw that he had recalled her name correctly. He also learned that she was 30 years old, 5’7”, 120lbs, and fertile in case prospective buyers were interested in breeding her with male Nekos.

Phil felt bile rising in his throat. There was more listed about Nancy – a blurb of info about her previous living situations – but Phil didn’t want to read anymore, so he scrolled down on the page. He wished he hadn’t.

Dan stared at him from a photograph with brown eyes that were widened unmistakably with terror. There were words written beside the photograph, but Phil couldn’t focus on them long enough for them to make sense. He shut his eyes for a long moment as if the awful truth before him would be gone when he reopened his eyes. It wasn’t.

Phil looked at the petrified image of Dan again. He could tell that the picture was taken in Dan’s cell, and it was taken at a slight angle from above which made Dan look so small and young. He wondered if they told Dan when the picture was taken that time had run out and that he was going to be listed on the website today.

Phil wanted to be there so that he could hold Dan and tell him that everything was going to be okay. The problem was that Phil wasn’t sure he believed this anymore.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning, this chapter is very dark (probably the darkest in the whole story). If you're sensitive, I suggest skipping it. Sorry to everyone who is tired of the dark/sad chapters. Stick with me just a bit longer please, better times are coming :)

Dan was lying on his side, his knees bent because the bed in his cell was too short for him to stretch out on. If he fell asleep now, he would wake up to an aching back, but he didn’t care; he wanted to escape, even if he only left the nightmare of reality for nightmarish dreams. He wrinkled his nose as the scent of the untouched food on his tray wafted up from the floor. The food was disgusting, and he thought that they were purposefully making it resemble cat food, if not giving the Nekos actual cat food. So far, the only thing he had touched from the trays they brought him was the water, and they had told him that if he didn’t eat soon then they would force food down his throat with a tube. He didn’t care.

He buried his face in his pillow to block out both the smell and the lights glaring from the hallway – lights that were never turned off. He wanted to sleep, but his brain was another thing he couldn’t turn off. It was trapped in an endless cycle. He thought about how he got here – it was his fault for being stupid and not trying harder to get away. He thought about what was going to happen if he was sold, which made him think about the last time this had happened, and that made him a trembling mess. So, he tried to think about Phil.

Before Phil, he didn’t have any good memories. Now he had memories of homemade pancakes, Mario Kart, cuddles on the sofa, soft kisses, and the funny way Phil bit his tongue when he laughed. Dan thought that remembering these things would make him feel better and fill him with the warmth of these moments, but tears pricked at his eyes and his chest ached. He should have known that it couldn’t last. He was so stupid to think that it could. He shouldn’t have tried to start anything with Phil – if he hadn’t, then his chest wouldn’t be aching so much.

Dan knew that he was listed for sale on a website right now and that Phil didn’t have the money to buy him. He was accepting that at any moment he was going to be sold and he would never see Phil again. He wished that he had never fallen in love with Phil. It hurt so much that he could barely breathe.

Tears were dampening the pillow he had buried his face in and his breath was hitching with the sobs that he was holding in. There was no privacy here and he refused to let his misery be heard. The cell across from him was empty, but he had heard the other Nekos being held down here. When they made a sound, they usually attracted the attention of the man who brought their food, who always seemed to be nearby. The man was pale, somewhere in his late 20s, and he had an open face that displayed his thoughts – Dan didn’t like what the man appeared to be thinking about whenever he caught him staring.

Dan shuddered, and a whimper escaped his lips. A tap at the bars of his cell made him look up. One time when he looked up Phil had been standing there, so he couldn’t resist looking now. The tall man with a pale face looked like Phil for a fraction of a second, but Dan blinked and he recognized the man who brought his food. The man beckoned him with a finger, but Dan ignored him.

“Come here. Got something to tell you,” he insisted, crooking his finger again.

It could be that the man had something important to tell him, so Dan got up and went to the door of his cell. He felt the man’s eyes move over his body with open lust and Dan stiffened. He tried not to let his fear show as he asked, “What is it?”

“Nothing. It’s just you seemed kind of down, so I thought that I would make you an offer.”

Dan shook his head because he had heard the man make this offer to someone a few cells down and he knew what it was. “Not interested.”

“Why so shy? I’m just trying to get to know you. I want to be your friend. Your name is Daniel, right? I’m Jimmy. Don’t you want to be my friend?”

If Dan’s stomach wasn’t empty, he would have thrown up. He maintained a stony expression as he shook his head.

“I can help you out, though. Aren’t you tired of staring at these walls? We can go somewhere together.” Jimmy reached through the bars to touch Dan’s neck, and Dan couldn’t help flinching. Jimmy’s eyes glinted as he saw Dan’s fear, and he seemed to be enjoying it. “Okay, I can understand why maybe you wouldn’t want to go somewhere with me since you don’t know me. I could come in there with you, and we could get to know each other right here.”

Dan stood still, his shaking legs unable to move him from the spot as Jimmy rubbed the pad of his thumb across the soft skin under his bottom lip. He knew that he could shout ‘no’ until he was blue in the face and it wouldn’t make a difference to this man.

“So, how about it? Want me to come in there so we can become good friends?” Jimmy spoke in a softer voice then, his eyes on Dan’s lips. “I bet that mouth of yours would feel amazing.”

Dan managed to find his voice. “If you put it in my mouth, I will bite it off.” He knew that Jimmy was going to hurt him for this. Jimmy would make him pay for these words, but right now Dan didn’t care. He saw Jimmy’s eyes widen, and he went on, “Go ahead and make threats – I don’t care. I swear I will bite.”

Jimmy didn’t have much room to move the arm that he had extended into the cell, but he swung his hand and slapped it across Dan’s face as hard as he could. “Fucking crazy bitch.”

Dan’s cheek was stinging, but he didn’t say anything, and he didn’t breathe until Jimmy had disappeared from sight. He collapsed onto the tiny bed, and the tremors started shaking his body. It went on for some time, but he took some calming breaths, which slowed his racing heart and the trembling eventually stopped. He sagged into the mattress, exhausted as he shut his eyes. This time, sleep came.

 

 

Dan woke with a jolt from a dream he didn’t remember. He stared at the ceiling. One of the worst parts of being here was that he had no sense of time passing. On the first day that he was here, he tried to mark time based on when he was brought trays of food, but some trays were brought when he was asleep and he quickly lost track. He had no idea how long he had been here, or even if it was night or day. It made him want to scratch at the walls until he saw a glint of sunlight or moonlight through the bricks, and when he resisted he felt anxiety clawing at the inside of his skull.

There was a sound at the door of his cell, and Dan looked up. Jimmy was there as he’d expected, but he wasn’t alone. The ruddy-faced man named Shaw was there, as well as two other men who he didn’t know. They opened the door and came into his tiny cell. Dan was still lying on the bed and Shaw came forward, bending so that his face was above Dan’s. He said, “Jimmy tells me you still haven’t eaten.”

Dan glanced at Jimmy, suspecting that Jimmy went to Shaw as a way to punish him for what he said. As always, Jimmy’s open face displayed his emotions, and Dan saw that he was right. He looked back to Shaw. “Why do you care if I don’t eat?”

“It’s a reflection on the company. You’re for sale and we can’t sell half-starved Nekos. So, if I bring you something are you going to eat?”

Dan considered it, knowing what was going to happen if he refused. He thought about asking for something more appetizing than the cat food, but he hated the idea of being fattened up for the market, and he felt his stomach roll in protest. He shook his head in answer to Shaw.  

Shaw sighed and looked over his shoulder to the other men. “Jimmy, get his shoulders. Dale, hold his legs.”

Jimmy’s hands pressed Dan’s shoulders into the thin mattress. Dan shrugged his shoulders against the grip in a feeble attempt to escape, but the men had locked the door behind them and there was nowhere to run. The other man had his ankles, and Shaw and the fourth man came to his side holding an apparatus with a tube. Dan’s lips clamped shut at the sight, but the fourth man put a hand on his chin. Dan grabbed the man’s wrist and squeezed hard enough to bruise, but the man ignored him and pried his mouth open.

Before he saw it coming, Shaw forced a guard in his mouth to stop him from biting, and then a rubber tube was being forced down his throat. The muscles of his throat tightened around the tube, but he couldn’t stop it. He felt it when it reached his stomach. It sickened him, but he could do nothing as he felt himself being filled with a disgusting gruel. Finally, the tube was pulled out of his body with a sensation that made his chest ache and his throat burn. He wanted to vomit as soon as it was out.

Shaw seemed to know what he was thinking, and he said, “If you puke, we’re just going to come back in here and do it again until it stays down. I’d rather not waste my time, so are you going to behave?”

Dan didn’t respond, but Shaw didn’t seem to have been expecting him to say anything. They left him there with tears stinging in his eyes. He rubbed his chest to try to make the ache fade, but it didn’t help.

Jimmy returned after what seemed like a long time, and he pushed a tray to Dan. He didn’t leave, and Dan knew what he had to do. He took a bite of the cat food while Jimmy was watching. It smelled spoiled and tasted worse, but he made his sore throat swallow it. Jimmy left after observing this, and Dan tried to force away the feeling of defeat. Jimmy, Shaw, and the rest would know now that they had beaten him, but moral battles seemed so trivial now. It no longer mattered to Dan if his abusers saw him as a person or a cat – they would hurt him either way.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am posting Wednesday's update a day early because I hated the position Dan was left in. Enjoy ♡

Dan was staring at the wall blankly when a noise at the door startled him. It was Jimmy, but he didn’t have a tray of food. “What is it?”

A wave of fear hit him as he thought for a moment that Jimmy had come to make another pass at him. Dan wasn’t sure what he would do. He recalled the moment where he had threatened to bite Jimmy with an odd sense of distance, as if that had been another person who said those words. All of his boldness and fighting spirit had left him; they had broken him.

“Just came to tell you that you’ll be leaving us this afternoon. You’ve been sold.”

“Oh,” Dan said, his voice more even than he had expected it to be when he heard this news. He had heard this once before in his life from Mr. Smith. He felt numb and couldn’t decide which time had been worse. Mr. Smith had taunted him and promised how awful his life would be now. Jimmy just stood there, but he didn’t need to say anything – Dan knew what was going to happen to him.

Dan remembered that he had been curious last time and he had asked Mr. Smith how much, but he only had one question for Jimmy. “Who was it? Who bought me?”

“How the hell would I know?” Jimmy said. He turned to leave. “Be ready to go in a few hours.”

Dan looked around his small cell, but there was nothing to get ready if he had wanted to – nothing to pack, nothing to entertain him, no way to escape. He lay down in bed. This place was awful, but he could be going to somewhere so much worse. This place could seem like heaven in comparison, so he tried to get some rest while he could.

 

A hand shook his shoulder to wake him. Dan opened his eyes and cringed away when he saw it was Jimmy. Jimmy glared at his reaction. “Time to go. Your owner is here.”

Dan had heard those words before. He had been taken to a room where a man with dark hair salted with gray had put a tight collar around his neck and then led him out of the building on a leash. Dan’s heart pounding, realizing that it could be _him_ come back to claim him. Or it could be someone even more awful. Fear froze him in place and he didn’t move as Jimmy looked at him expectantly.

Jimmy sighed and tugged on his arm. “Get up. Get up or I’ll call help and we’ll drag you out of here.”

Dan stood on shaking legs and followed Jimmy, who kept a tight grip on his arm. “Who bought me? I want to know.”

“What does it matter? You’re about to meet him.” Jimmy led him up a staircase.

Dan’s body seemed to be rebelling. He felt like he was walking towards a fire in a burning building, and all of his instincts were telling him to run the other way. His palms were sweating, his legs felt like they were about to buckle beneath him, and his heart was trying to beat out of his chest.

Jimmy led him around the corner to a hallway full of doors. Jimmy announced, “They said he’s in room 3.”

  
As Jimmy was reading the numbers written on the panels beside the doors, Dan tried to pull his arm free. He had an insane idea that maybe he could find the way out and escape now that he was above ground. Jimmy’s hand was like a vise on his arm though, and Dan couldn’t escape even as he put his entire weight behind it.

Jimmy started cursing under his breath and then snapped, “Bitch, come on! The door is right there. Don’t make this difficult.”

“Fuck off, let go!” Dan fell to his knees in his attempt to get away, but the best that he could do now was to not take another step. He couldn’t get away, but he refused to walk to that door. He gasped as Jimmy gave his arm a painful tug, knowing it was bruised.

“Walk! You fucking asshole, get up.” Jimmy pulled him, and Dan slid a couple inches down the tiled hallway. Dan whimpered and he felt tears start running down his cheeks.

Again, he had to wonder if morals and principles were more trouble than they were worth. Pride had made him refuse to walk willingly into this awful fate, but what good was pride to a Neko? No one cared if he stood up for himself – the world was going to keep beating him down until there was nothing left.

Jimmy kept pulling him down the hallway, cursing loudly in his annoyance, and Dan was fully sobbing now as he was aware that every inch brought him closer to whoever was behind that door, and the pain he felt now was nothing compared to what he was likely to feel under the hands of that person. He had felt numb when he was told that he was sold, but the numbness was gone and fear consumed him. He wanted to float out of his body and leave this place, flying far away.

Then the door of room 3 opened. A man looked curiously down the hall, his attention seeming to be drawn by the noise. The man was tall with pale skin and dark hair. He wasn’t wearing his glasses and his blue eyes were wide. It was Phil.

“What the hell are you doing to him? Let go.” Phil ran over to them and shoved Jimmy aside.

Dan looked up. The image of Phil above him was made blurry by tears – the fluorescent lights seemed to be dancing with light on the ceiling above Phil’s head. He still couldn’t believe it, despite seeing what room Phil came out of, so he asked, “It was you? You bought me?”

“Yes, they didn’t tell you?” Phil knelt before him as Dan shook his head. He put a hand behind Dan’s head and tilted it, seeming to inspect him for injuries; his eyes lingered on the cheek where Dan had been slapped. “Are you okay?”

Dan didn’t respond, but he glanced at Jimmy.

  
Phil shot the man a glare, but his attention quickly returned to Dan. “Come with me.”

Dan didn’t hesitate to follow Phil into room 3. The room was small and only held a sofa, two armchairs, a coffee-table with magazines, and a watercooler. Phil shut the door between them and Jimmy – they were alone now – and he led Dan to the sofa and pulled him gently to it. His eyes were still moving over him, checking Dan for more injuries.

“Can we leave?” Dan asked. He was still absorbing the fact that he was here with Phil, when he had accepted the fact that he was probably never going to see him again.

“Yes, we’re free to go.” Phil glanced at a folder on the table. “I’ve got all the paperwork done. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay first. You look like a firm breeze could knock you over.”

Dan ignored this and stared at the folder, which must contain his bill of sale. “You really did it? You bought me?” His voice was rough from the abuse his throat had suffered, and his tone was flat with disbelief.

Phil became very still as he watched Dan carefully. “Are you mad that I did it?” Dan looked at him, realizing that Phil had mistaken his reaction for disappointment or anger. Phil started speaking too quickly for Dan to respond. “Because I don’t like the idea of legally owning you either, but I didn’t know what else to do. I have been so scared that I would never see you again, and buying you seemed like it was the only way to get you back. It’s just a piece of paper to me, Dan. It means that we can walk out of here together.”

Dan nodded, hoping that Phil would see in his face that he wasn’t angry, just exhausted in every sense of the word. “I understand. I’m not mad, I’m grateful. And I’m already yours, but not because of the paperwork – I love you.”

“I love you, too. I’m yours.” Phil leaned forward to place a quick kiss on Dan’s forehead. He brushed Dan’s hair back and then tilted his head to look at the mark on Dan’s cheek again. “Please tell me if you’re okay. What happened?”

Dan shook his head. “It was nothing, just a slap. I’m fine. Phil, can we go home?”

“Home…” Phil looked away. “Dan, were you very attached to my apartment? Because there have been some changes.” He saw the alarm on Dan’s face. “We’re going back there, don’t worry! It’s just there’s not much besides the bed, a sea of boxes, and we won’t be staying long. Are you going to miss it very much?”

“We’re going to keep living together? Just somewhere else?” Dan asked, and Phil nodded in answer. “Then of course not, you spork. I’d be happy if you told me we were going to live on the side of the road. I don’t care, as long as you’re there.”

Phil smiled. “Oh, I’m a spork, am I? Well, we’re not going to be living on the side of the road. We’re moving in with my parents. Don’t give me that look – I don’t mind as long as you’re there. You’re my home.”

A smile wavered on his lips. Objectively, he knew that he was happy, but it was so hard to completely feel it at the moment. After everything he had felt since being separated from Phil, his emotions were like a live wire and he was afraid to touch them – even the good emotions – lest he get a shock. Phil was eyeing him with concern again, so Dan said, “You have no idea what it means to me to hear that. I didn’t think I was going to see you again, let alone get a chance to be with you. I’m so overwhelmed right now that I don’t even… I don’t know what to feel right now.”

Phil stroked Dan’s hair with such tenderness that it brought tears brimming to Dan’s eyes. “That’s okay, Kitten. I can understand why you’re overwhelmed, but don’t worry about anything. I’m going to take care of you now. Everything is going to be okay.”

Dan sniffled and wiped at his eyes to dry them. “I think I’ll save falling apart for later. Can we go? I know it’s not rational, but I have this awful feeling that someone is going to come in this room and tell me that there’s been a mistake and I can’t leave with you.”

Phil’s eyes widened and he nodded. “Now you’ve got me fearing the same thing. Let’s go.”

Dan trailed behind Phil, who seemed to know the way out. A couple minutes later, they were outside on the street. It was slightly overcast – they were in London of course – but it still took Dan’s eyes a moment to painfully adjust to the light after spending so many days in a windowless room. Phil waited at his side, looking concerned again, and when a brisk breeze swept past he handed Dan his jacket. Dan accepted; he wasn’t that cold, but he was wearing white pajamas, and he wanted to cover up from the people on the street who were giving him odd looks as they walked past.

“Ready to go?” Phil asked. Before Dan could respond, Phil’s phone rung and he answered. “Martyn! I forgot to call you. Yeah, I got him. Everything is fine. We’re okay.”

As they started to walk down the sidewalk while Phil talked to his brother, Phil held onto the cuff of the jacket that Dan was wearing, like he was afraid Dan would disappear if he didn’t hold onto him. Dan didn’t mind, since he was realizing that Phil must have had a hard time without him, and he couldn’t imagine what he would have done if he had come home to find Phil missing. Dan pulled the sleeve out of Phil’s grip and replaced it with his hand.

Phil looked at him, holding the phone away from his mouth. “Martyn wants to know if we’ll come to his house to dinner. He’s promising something nice to celebrate your homecoming.”

Dan shrugged. “Sure, sounds nice. Tell him ‘thanks’.”

  
“Okay, good. I packed all our dishes already and if you didn’t want to go to Mar’s then we would be eating off Styrofoam.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I heard people speculating about how Dan was going to get out of this mess in the comments. I hope that the fact that Phil's original plan worked hasn't disappointed anyone (I don't see Phil as an action hero, and I think that if he had tried to steal Dan he would have never made it past the front door).  
> All I had intended to do was build suspense for the payoff of this reunion, and I hope you're not disappointed. ..


	26. Chapter 26

As they boarded a bus and found some seats secluded in the back, Phil saw how tired Dan was when he collapsed onto his seat and immediately closed his eyes. Phil reached out – he couldn’t stop touching Dan – and he touched the soft skin between Dan’s eyes to make them open, the chocolate eyes glinting with amusement.

Phil smiled. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have made you open your eyes. I can see that you’re tired.”

Dan shook his head as he yawned. Then he sat up a bit straighter. “It’s okay. I slept a lot while I was in there. I’m just worn out, but I can sleep later. I’d like to see your face right now. I missed your face.”

“I missed your face, too.” Phil giggled, and before he realized what he was doing he had reached out again, this time to stroke the soft fur of Dan’s ears.

Dan started to purr and his eyelids lowered, but then he shook his head. “Hey, Phil, that isn’t helping me to stay awake.”

Phil pulled his hand back. “Sorry. I just can’t believe you’re here. I can’t believe my eyes, so I can’t keep my hands off you – when I touch you I know that you’re real.”

Dan scooted closer to him on the seat so that their arms were touching. “I’m real. Believe it. So, tell me why you decided to pack up and move North? Did it have something to do with the money I cost you? Is it my fault?”

“Don’t think of it like that. You had something to do with it, but I haven’t lost anything. I really didn’t care about that apartment. As for money, you didn’t really cost me anything.” Dan’s eyes were wide now and Phil could tell that he had the Neko’s attention. He elaborated, “You cost £20,000. I talked to Linda, and she handed over the 10,000 she got for selling you. Martyn sold his car for 2,500, and then Mum pitched in the rest. Mum requested that I move back home, sort of to repay her. Her reasoning was really sweet, though. I’ll tell you about it later. Oh, I did sell my Muse concert tickets, but I’m using the money to cover moving expenses.”

“Wow,” Dan said. He bit his lip and looked away. “Your mum and Martyn… I know they did it for you, but still I never thought I’d be worth so much trouble to so many people.”

“Of course you’re worth it, and they didn’t just do it for me. Martyn likes you too, and he wanted you to be safe. I told Mum how I feel about you, and you know what she said? ‘He’s already family’. Linda is the only one who didn’t do it for you, but she didn’t do it for me either – she just decided to do the right thing in the end.”

Dan frowned at this last part. Then he returned his attention to Phil. “What about your job? Did you quit?”

“No, I got fired again.” Phil blushed slightly and looked away, though he wasn’t really embarrassed. “If I hadn’t been fired, I would have quit. I couldn’t go to work until you were safe again. I couldn’t focus on anything.”

Before Dan could comment on this, the bus was pulling up to their stop and they stepped into the busy street where Londoners were hurrying home after work. The street lamps had already turned on, though the sun was still setting. A breeze swept past, making Phil shiver in his thin t-shirt. Dan noticed and moved to take the jacket off, but Phil stopped him. “No, keep it on. We’re almost at Martyn’s.”

They clasped hands and silently walked the last two blocks. A couple moments later, they were at Martyn’s door. Martyn opened the door, beaming at Dan. “You have no idea how good it is to see you.”

Dan looked slightly bewildered but also pleased when Martyn pulled him into a hug. When Martyn pulled away, he said, “Good to see you, too.”

Martyn led them to the living room, where Thai takeout containers were spread out across the coffee table. “You said you like Thai, right?”

Dan laughed. “Martyn, this is great. You could have offered me a boiled shoe and it would have been the best thing I’ve eaten in a few days. Or however long I was gone – I’m not sure.”

“Four days,” Phil said as they settled down. Dan sipped at a glass of Ribena and closed his eyes as he savored the taste. Phil asked, “What did they feed you there?”

Dan grimaced as he reopened his eyes. “You don’t want to know. It will just make you mad.”

“I can be mad at them if I want to be,” Phil said indignantly. “They deserve it. I’m already mad at them.” He looked at Martyn. “You know how they brought him to the room where I was waiting? They were dragging him across the floor by his wrist.”

Martyn made a disgusted noise as he reached for a container of Thai food, which he then poked at with chopsticks.

“Well, that was Jimmy,” Dan added. “He also brought me my food, so I really didn’t like him.”

Putting a name to the face somehow made Phil hate this man more. He had noticed that Dan hadn’t taken a bite of his dinner yet, and he was worried that bringing this up was making Dan lose his appetite. “Dan, do you not want to talk about this right now? We can discuss it later if you like.”

Dan saw Phil’s eyes on the chopsticks in his hand, and he hurried to put them to use. After swallowing some Thai food, he shook his head in answer to Phil’s question. “I don’t mind telling you what happened, if you really want to know. I’ve always been so secretive about my past, and it’s never done either of us any good. That… disagreement we had the last time we were at your place?” He glanced at Martyn, leaving no doubt in Phil’s mind that he was talking about the panic attack he had while they were having sex. “I don’t think that would have happened if I had been open about the bad things that had happened to me. So, this time around I’m going to talk more. This feels like a second chance to me, and I don’t want to screw it up.”

Martyn and Dan continue eating in silence, but Phil had lost his appetite as he considered Dan’s words. It had taken four nerve-wracking days to get Dan home, but Phil had thought that it had been soon enough that Dan hadn’t been harmed. So, he had been wrong.

“You okay, Philly?” Martyn was staring at him, chopsticks frozen in his hand as something in Phil’s expression had made him concerned.

Dan stopped eating to stare at him, too. “Did I say something wrong?”

Phil shook his head quickly. It was good that Dan wanted to open up, and he didn’t want to make him change his mind, thinking that Phil couldn’t handle it. “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s them. What did they do to you? I have to know.”

Dan looked away, idly poking at his food with the chopsticks. “I’m not sure where to start. That place was hell. I mean, you saw it.”

He had the sudden urge to strip Dan naked to check him for bruises that his clothes might be hiding, but Phil asked, “Did they… assault you?”

Dan blinked at him, seeming to understand what he was asking. “No. The closest who came to doing that was Jimmy. He came to my cell and said some things. I think he was going to make me blow him, but I told him I’d bite off his dick if he tried.” Dan gestured to the faint bruise on his cheek. “He slapped me and left.”

Phil felt like he was going to lose the little bit of his dinner that he had eaten. He felt like all of the claims he had made lately were false bravado – how could he protect Dan? A strong man would think about how he had had his hands on that pervert this afternoon when he shoved him in the hallway, and he would want revenge and promise violence. That wasn’t the kind of man that Phil was though, and he was coming to accept it. He wasn’t the tough guy, but he was the person who Dan had chosen. All he had to offer was comfort and promises that Dan was safe now. He hoped that it was enough.

Phil said, “I’m sorry I didn’t get there sooner.”

Dan shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You saved my life today. I don’t know where I would have ended up if you hadn’t come to get me, but I know that it wouldn’t have been a good place.”

Since he had come home four days ago to an ominously empty apartment, Phil had felt like his world was falling apart. It was a sensation like realizing the Earth under his feet was spinning too fast and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Now that Phil was sat on a sofa with Dan finally at his side again, he took a deep breath and felt the spinning world slow beneath his feet once more. He had Dan, Dan was okay, and everything was going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a line in this chapter where Dan said that he forgave Linda for what she did. I deleted the line because 1) it seemed a bit like forced closure and 2) because you all in the comments have convinced me that Linda is a b-word who hasn't earned forgiveness yet. I hope you are proud of yourselves :D


	27. Chapter 27

As Phil was helping Martyn to carry the empty takeout containers to the kitchen, Dan fell asleep where he was sitting on the couch. Martyn whispered, “You guys want to sleep here tonight? I don’t mind.”

Phil nodded. His apartment was only a 15-minute walk away, but he hated the idea of waking up Dan. Phil left the room to brush his teeth with a spare toothbrush and then he borrowed some pjs from Martyn. When he came back to the sofa with a fluffy pillow and a duvet, Dan was still asleep; his head was tipped back on the arm of the sofa and his mouth was hanging slightly open. Phil put the pillow on the other end of the sofa, turned off the light, and then he sat beside Dan and gave his shoulder a shake. “Dan, you can’t sleep like that. You’ll hurt your neck. Come lie down with me.”

Dan mumbled something incomprehensible under his breath, but he looped his arms around Phil’s neck. Phil leaned back into the pillow, taking Dan with him and positioning their bodies so that Dan was lying on top of him on the sofa. He then did his best to throw the duvet over them with one hand. Dan shifted on top of him so that his cheek was pillowed on Phil’s chest. Dan made a soft noise and then said, “Your heart is racing.”

Phil felt himself blush in the dark, glad that Dan couldn’t see his face. He wasn’t sure what to say. The truth was that having Dan so close was driving him crazy, and he couldn’t help thinking about the last time they were on a sofa together – when Phil had been on top of Dan as he kissed him and touched him all over. Now, he was carefully keeping his hands still on Dan’s back as he held him.

He knew that Dan returned his feelings, but Phil still wasn’t sure how to define their relationship. Dan was his best friend and his boyfriend – which was enough for Phil – but Phil wasn’t sure if he could call him his lover. They hadn’t had a chance to talk about what happened before, but Phil knew what he was going to say: he had nearly lost Dan, and now that he had him back he wasn’t going to let a desire for a physical relationship push them apart. He was going to be whatever Dan wanted him to be, as long as Dan let him be in his life.

 

 

Phil woke up, squirming beneath a heavy weight. He was warm and sleepy, and would happily go back to sleep, but there was a mounting pressure on his bladder. He opened his eyes, seeing tousled brown curls and pointed ears. “Dan?” Phil shifted his shoulder to move the Neko. “Dan, wake up.”

Dan only snuggled closer to him and a low purr started to rumble in his chest.

“Dan, please,” Phil whined, thinking about just rolling him off so that he could escape to the bathroom.

“Hmm?” Dan grumbled and then cleared his throat. “What?”

“I have to pee, and all your weight is pressing on my bladder. Could you move?”

Dan laughed, but he rolled to the side so that Phil could scramble out from under him and run to the bathroom. Phil emerged from the bathroom 15 minutes later, his teeth brushed and his hair combed, though his eyes were irritated since he fell asleep in his contact lenses. He blinked blearily at Dan, who was waiting in the hall outside the door.

“Oh, sorry, all yours.” Phil stepped to the side.

Dan hesitated in the doorway. “I want a shower more than anything. Do you think your brother would mind if I used his, or should I wait until we get home?”

“Martyn wouldn’t mind. Besides, I packed our shower gel and I’m not sure what box it’s in. I should probably shower before we go, too.”

Dan’s cheeks became pink and he looked away. “Did you, um, want to get in with me?” Phil gaped at him until Dan’s cheeks flushed further and the rosy patch appeared on his jaw. Dan looked at Phil, and his eyes narrowed in annoyance. “Say something, will you?”

“Um, that sounds really nice. I’d love to.”

A few moments later, Phil’s mind was reeling with the fact that he was standing in the shower with Dan standing nude a foot away from him. Dan had undressed confidently, seeming aware of how much Phil was enjoying the sight of what he was revealing as he discarded his clothes. Now that they were both completely naked and standing a foot apart, Dan’s confidence crumbled under the weight of Phil’s stare, and he crossed his arms to hide the dark skin of his nipples.

Phil shook his head, scattering water droplets from the shower spray. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Dan gave him a wobbly smile and he dropped his arms to his sides. “You don’t scare me. You make me feel safe.”

“I haven’t always made you feel safe,” he said, remembering the last time he had seen Dan like this. “I don’t want you to worry, though. I’m not expecting anything to happen here. This is enough for me.”

“Is it?” Dan glanced down, smiling wryly at the way Phil’s body was responding to the situation. “Phil, it’s okay. I want this, too. You didn’t scare me last time. I got scared of other things. You were perfect, and it was my fault for not being open with you.”

Phil reached out, grabbed both of Dan’s hands, and gave them a squeeze. “Don’t blame yourself. You’ve been through hell. I should have thought more about that and gone slower with you. I was selfish. It was my fault.”

Dan gave a short laugh and squeezed Phil’s hands in return. “Okay, how about instead of pointing fingers, we just go forward? I really do want this. I want you. Yes, I know I have problems and this isn’t going to be easy, but if you’re willing to give me a chance I think it’s possible for us to have a physical relationship. I’ve thought a lot about what went wrong the last time we had sex, and I think it was because I couldn’t see your face when you turned me around.”

Phil leaned in to stop Dan’s words with a kiss. “It’s okay, Kitten. This isn’t some problem that you have to work on until you figure out the answer. It’s you and me. We’re in this together, so don’t worry.”

Dan sighed contently and leaned against him. He accepted when Phil offered to wash his hair, and Phil giggled when the bubbles made Dan’s ears twitch. After rinsing the shampoo out of his curls, Dan grabbed the shampoo and started rubbing a palmful into Phil’s hair. “I love your hair,” Dan said. “I always wanted hair like yours.”

Phil made a soft noise and close his eyes, enjoying the massage on his scalp. “Your hands feel amazing.”

Once he was finished, he pulled Phil under the showerhead to rise his hair. Dan leaned closer to share the hot water, nestling his face in the space between Phil’s neck and his shoulder. As Phil was idling wondering if they should use shampoo or body wash on Dan’s tail, he felt Dan’s hand on his hip moved lower. His hand was large and warm and soft on Phil’s length, and Phil moved his hips to enjoy it. “You do like my hands, don’t you?” Dan asked. His face was still against Phil’s neck and he placed a kiss there. “How do you feel about my lips?”

Phil moaned in response and he closed his eyes again. Suddenly, the only warmth was from the hot water, and he blinked to see where Dan had gone. Dan was on his knees and he smiled up at Phil before sinking Phil’s hardness into his mouth. He bobbed up and down as he sucked hesitantly, seeming a bit unsure of what he was doing. Phil moaned again, hoping that this let Dan know how much he was enjoying this.

Phil lost himself in the moment, which felt unreal – he couldn’t believe that he was actually here with Dan, finally. As he felt like heat was pooling in his pelvis, he couldn’t help thrusting his hips forward slightly.

Dan gagged and pulled off. His hands had been braced on Phil’s hips, but he let go and fell back on his heels as he sucked in a breath.

“Sorry, sorry!” Phil dropped to his knees beside Dan to check on him. He couldn’t tell if Dan’s face was wet with tears or shower water. “Are you okay? I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that to you.”

“I’m fine,” Dan said, but his voice was scratchy and Phil didn’t think it was true. “Could I tell you something? It might kill the mood, but with this openness thing I’m working on, I think I should tell you this.”

“Of course.” Phil settled onto the floor of the shower beside Dan. Cool water was pooling about them, but Phil ignored it as he braced himself for what Dan needed to tell him. “Was it something that Jimmy guy did?”

Dan shook his head. “No, he only slapped me. Oh… but this kind of was him in a way. He did something to get back at me for rejecting him. Jimmy told Shaw that I wasn’t eating, so they decided to force feed me. Do you know what that is?” Phil shook his head, so Dan explained, “They forced a tube down my throat – all the way to my stomach. It made my chest ache for hours after it happened. It wasn’t sexual, but there was something so violating about it. I don’t know. It was just awful.”

Phil wanted to hold Dan, but he wasn’t sure if the Neko wanted to be touched right now, so he decided to let Dan instigate any touching. As he thought about what Dan had said, he realized what had reminded Dan of that horrible moment. “Oh, Dan. When I was in your mouth, I reminded you of that? I’m so sorry.”

Dan gave him a sad smile. “Just for a moment when you touched the back of my throat. Before that I really liked it. I want to do it more.”

Dan’s words made warmth start pooling in his pelvis again, but Phil took a breath to calm himself. “Um, maybe we should hold off for now. Martyn has to be awake by now, and he’s probably going to come barging in here any moment complaining about how we’re wasting his hot water, and he’s the type to flush the toilet in annoyance at the people in the shower.”

Dan gave a barking laugh. “Well, we wouldn’t want that to happen.”

They got out of the shower and were forced to put on their dirty clothes from yesterday, since they hadn’t brought a change of clothes to Martyn’s. Phil wrinkled his nose at the faint smell coming off his clothes. “It’s a good thing the apartment isn’t far from here. I can’t wait to take these off again.”

Dan’s cheeks got slightly pink. “And are you planning on getting dressed right away, or did you have something else in mind?”

He moaned in response. “Let’s go now please. I need to take your clothes off.”

Dan giggled when Phil kissed him, and they dashed out of the bathroom with clasped hands. Martyn was in the kitchen sipping coffee and he shot them a knowing look, not needing much of an explanation about why they were in such a hurry to leave.

The distance from his brother’s apartment to his own had never seemed so brief as he jogged with Dan at his side. All of his attention was on Dan – the way the exertion of their activity made Dan breathe in little puffs, bringing color to the tanned and freckled skin of his cheeks, and dampened the palm clasped in his with sweat. He didn’t mind the sweat; he wanted to make Dan sweat even more in a few moments.

Phil wasn’t scared anymore of what they were about to do. He had become as sure of his relationship with Dan as he was of the fact that the Sun rose in the sky every morning. After losing and finding each other again yesterday, Phil felt like they could do anything together.

Phil unlocked the apartment door for them, and Dan stepped in, his chocolate-brown eyes wide as he took in the sea of boxes that Phil had stacked everywhere. He commented, “I see you’ve been busy. I mean, I know you said you were packing, but you’ve literally packed everything. Are you sure I was only gone for 4 days?”

“Yeah. It was… therapeutic.” Phil shifted uncomfortably as Dan stared at him, silently urging him to explain. “When you were taken, and I had to come home to this place, it wasn’t home anymore. Everything reminded me of you. I was so scared that I would never see you again and I had to do something to distract me. Mum told me to pack, and when I started packing it was the only thing that made me feel better. I was taking apart this house that no longer felt like mine anymore. I was boxing away everything that I couldn’t stand to look at anymore. And there was also the fact that I was doing it for you and me. If everything worked out for the best, the boxes would be going to our new home.”

Dan crossed the few steps dividing them to hug Phil. “I’m not going to go anywhere again. I won’t scare you like that again. I promise.”

Phil hugged the Neko tighter against him. He was so soft and warm, and Phil felt safe. He had known it when he stood in the apartment when it was cold and empty – Dan was his home now. And Phil was going to be Dan’s.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just realized that Dan has been asleep for like half of this story... sorry, but I find the image cute


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, I can't believe this fic is about to reach 3,000 hits. Thank you! <3

Dan sat on the bed. Out of all the rooms in the house, this one seemed the least affected by Phil’s packing. The books were removed from the shelves. An open box sat before Phil’s dresser with clothes spilling out of it. The rest seemed the same though. He sat on the familiar blue and green duvet, and Dan tensed as he remembered the last time that they had been in this bed together. Cautiously, he brought the thoughts of that night forward in his mind, but it was okay. The panic and fear he had felt at the end of that night had faded. The memories that were vibrant in his mind were the good ones: telling Phil that he liked him, the way Phil kissed him, the feel of his hands all over his body.

Dan smiled confidently up at Phil, who was looking at his nightstand. Dan took a guess as he asked, “Did you pack what you keep in that drawer?”

Phil smiled, seeming amused by the mindreading. “No, actually. We’re all set.”

Dan hummed in response. “So, when you move you pack your plates and silverware. You pack your shower gel. But you don’t pack your lube and condoms, leaving those out for the last minute? Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad we don’t have to go hunting in these boxes for it, but admit it, Phil: you’re a pervert.”

“I will not admit that.” Phil’s cheeks flushed. “If you’re going to call me that, I’ll just leave you here by yourself.”

Dan was pretty sure that he was bluffing. He patted the bed beside him. “Come on. Sit next to me.”

Phil shook his head. “No, take it back.”

“How about a compromise? If you admit that you’re a pervert, I’ll admit that I like it?” He thought that Phil was going to protest, but Phil growled as he dropped the offended façade and leapt onto the bed, pressing Dan back against the pillows as he kissed him ferociously.

A few moments later, they were both out of breath – Dan a bit more so since Phil was lying on top of him. Phil leaned back and asked, “Is this okay? I’m not being too rough, am I?”

“No, I like this.”

Phil bit his bottom lip, looking unsure, and it drove Dan crazy because he wanted to bite that lip, but he was pinned beneath Phil’s weight and he couldn’t reach his face. As he was about to grab a handful of black hair and pull Phil’s face back down, Phil asked, “I am so worried about scaring you again. If you don’t like it, please stop me.”

“I like this. What do I have to do to convince you?” Then Dan had an idea. He took Phil’s hand and guided it between their bodies to the undeniable proof of how much he was enjoying this moment.

Phil’s eyes widened as he stroked the hardness of Dan’s growing erection through the fabric of his jeans. “You do like this.”

“I told you,” Dan said in a breathy voice, and then he couldn’t say anything else as Phil’s mouth was on his again. Phil continued stroking him over the pants, squeezing softly, and it wasn’t long until Dan was gripping the duvet in his fists. He pulled his mouth away from Phil, gasping as he came.

He hadn’t realized that he had closed his eyes, but then he was opening them, seeing Phil’s face above him. Phil gazed at him in wonderment as Dan shuddered with the aftershocks of his orgasm, and then Phil grinned triumphantly. “I made you feel good.”

Dan made a soft sound as he tried to find his voice. “Yeah, you did. Why do you sound surprised?”

“Not surprised. Just happy. I was planning on doing a lot more to you before we got to this point, but this is great.”

“You’re not stopping now,” Dan laughed, gripping Phil’s arms in case he tried to roll off him. Phil didn’t try to leave, but his eyebrows knit with concern. Dan insisted, “You won’t hurt me. I don’t need to wait before you keep going. Neko biology is a bit different from a human male's. I can keep coming.”

Phil nodded. “Okay. I won’t stop but tell me what you’d like to do. You said you thought about what went wrong last time we tried, and I’ve thought about it, too. Would it help if we switched places?”

Dan gaped at him as he thought about it, but then he shook his head. “Maybe we could try that later, but I wouldn’t know what to do. You’d have to show me how, and I don’t have the patience for that right now. I want you.” Dan tried to give him a reassuring smile. “It will be okay if I can see your face. You make me feel safe.”

Phil nodded, and then he was stripping Dan’s damp pants off him. Dan removed his shirt and tossed it onto the floor while Phil was rummaging in the drawer of the nightstand, and then he returned with the bottle of lube.

They had done this part before, so Dan knew what was coming next. He relaxed bonelessly into the mattress as Phil opened him, scissoring him with two fingers coated in lube. “We could just do this. I bet I could make you come with just my fingers,” Phil said.

Dan shuddered at the words but shook his head. “Keep going. I’m ready. I want you.” Phil pulled his fingers out, and Dan was about to complain, but he saw Phil taking off his jeans and then his pants. Dan insisted, “Your shirt, too.”

“Bossy, bossy,” Phil grinned as he tossed his shirt on the floor. He returned to his place between Dan’s legs and leaned forward to kiss him quickly. Dan felt something hard and warm brush against his thigh and he shivered. Phil was gone again much too quickly for Dan’s liking, but then as Dan admired the view – Phil kneeling before him as he rolled a condom down his length – Dan didn’t mind so much. He had never seen anything so sexy. Phil bit his lip as he hesitated. “I’m going to go slow, okay?”

Dan nodded, and he couldn’t blame Phil for being nervous, given what happened the last time Phil had started to press into him. Dan was feeling it too, despite how much he wanted this; his heart was racing and his palms were sweating, so he gripped the duvet to dry them. He kept his eyes open wide, afraid that if he even blinked and lost sight of Phil’s face for a moment that he would forget that it was Phil moving into place above him. Phil’s fingertips ran gently across his cheek, and Dan smiled because no one else could have hands that soft.

“You’re so beautiful,” Phil said, and before Dan could say anything he was gasping at the sensation of Phil sliding into him. He didn’t go far, and Dan thought that he had only inserted the head before stopping, but Dan felt himself stretch. “Are you okay? Am I hurting you?”

Dan shook his head. “No, no. It burns a bit, but it doesn’t hurt. I don’t want you to stop.”

Phil groaned slightly as he rested his face against Dan’s shoulder. He hadn’t moved yet. “You feel incredible.”

A thrill of excitement shot through Dan – it was like getting a shock off a live wire. Suddenly, he wasn’t scared or nervous anymore. He finally understood that sex with Phil wasn’t going to be anything like the horrors that he had experienced in his past. Phil wasn’t going to try to conquer his body or control him. In fact if Dan wanted to, he felt like he could control Phil, even in this position. He didn’t have to submit completely for this to work. Phil wanted him so badly, and that meant that Dan had power. This could be a give and take, a shared passion.

Dan realized that Phil was waiting for a signal, so he shifted his hips slightly. His body felt open and ready. “You can go deeper,” he told Phil, and Phil obeyed, sliding his entire length into him slowly. Dan’s mind was ready for this moment, but his body hadn’t quite caught up yet, and his walls burned with the intrusion if Phil’s cock. Dan looped his legs behind Phil holding him in place. “Don’t move yet, sorry. I need a moment.”

“Take as long as you need, Kitten. You feel incredible.” Phil ran the tip of his nose along the side of Dan’s neck. He exhaled against the sensitive skin, making Dan shiver. Phil placed a soft kiss on the side of Dan’s neck, and in the next second he was suckling hard enough to leave a mark.

Dan’s head was spinning – he felt delusional with pleasure, just from the attention that Phil was giving his neck. He was squirming beneath Phil, but the other man hadn’t moved yet without his permission. He moaned, “Phil! Phil…”

“Hmm?” Phil stopped sucking the skin and went back to peppering kisses along the length of Dan’s neck.

“That spot you found in me last time with your hand… Do you think you can find it now?”

Phil leaned back to look at Dan’s face; his hands were pressed into the mattress at Dan’s sides. Dan bit his lip at the sensation of Phil twitching inside him, and he wanted more. “You want me to move now?” he asked.

Dan nodded. “Yes please. Move.”

Phil started moving at a slow, delicious pace that made Dan melt beneath the warmth of his body. He knew that Phil was holding back, being so careful to not to cause him pain or fear, but Dan wasn’t scared anymore. He was going to be brave for both of them. Dan caught Phil’s eyes, gave him a blazing look, and shifted his hips at a better angle to receive him. Phil responded by thrusting deeper, and he brushed against something inside Dan that made him gasp. He tensed and squeezed Phil’s hips with his thighs. Phil gave a breathy laugh. He asked, “There?”

“Oh, yes. There,” Dan sighed. In the next few moments, he lost his ability to make coherent speech, dissolving into moans and gasps of pleasure until he was coming again.

Phil slowed his pace, but he brushed again against the nerves that made Dan jerk beneath him. “Should I stop? I know you said you can keep coming, but if you’re oversensitive…” He reached a tentative hand down to stroke Dan’s length, feeling that he was getting hard again already.

Dan didn’t respond at first, just moving his hips to create some friction against Phil’s palm, but then he said, “I’d like you to stop, but just for a moment. I want to try something different.”

“That sounds nice, but you should know that I don’t know how much longer I can last.” He had stopped moving his hips and his hand, making Dan squirm at the lack of sensation.

“Me either. I feel like my bones are made of Jell-O. Phil, could you lie down beside me?”

“Sure.” Phil pulled out slowly, but Dan sill whimpered at the loss of him. “Are you okay?”

“Yes. I still want you so badly, so lie down please.” Dan watched as Phil obeyed him, and he saw Phil’s hard erection waiting for him. Dan started to roll onto his knees, feeling the ache in the muscles he hadn’t realized he had used while lying on his back, and he started to worry that he wouldn’t be able to do this. He knew what he wanted to do with Phil in an abstract sense, but he’d never done it before and he didn’t know how to make his body move once he climbed into place on top of Phil. All he knew was that he wanted to take control of this moment.

Phil had realized what Dan wanted, and he gripped Dan’s hips gently to guide him into place. Phil gazed up at him with such adoration that it made Dan’s heart beat faster. Dan reached down to stroke a hand across Phil’s chest, which was lightly dusted with soft dark hairs. His heart was beating fast as well, and Dan left his palm atop it. “You know I love you, right?”

“I do. I love you, too.”

Dan moved his hand from Phil’s heart to his cock, which he guided into himself as he lowered himself onto Phil. He didn’t meet any resistance and he hummed as he felt his body tightening around Phil. “You’re so warm,” he said, moving himself up and down Phil’s length. Judging by the noises Phil was making, he was enjoying this, too, but Dan quickly became self-conscious. He wanted to find a blissful rhythm like the one that Phil had pounded into him, but Dan was jerking his hips erratically, the muscles in his thighs were burning, and he was getting close again. As his cheeks burned, Dan admitted, “Um, Phil, I have no idea what I’m doing here.”

“You’re doing great, but I can help if you like.” When Dan nodded, Phil tightened the grip on his hips, lifting him up a bit. Then he started to pound into Dan again. “Oh, fuck.” Dan wobbled in place as his legs were going numb, but Phil held him securely. Phil was hitting his spot again and Dan’s cock was leaking as he got closer.

They were both panting and gasping, and beneath this he heard the sound of their skin slapping together. Phil groaned and said, “I can’t hold it back much longer.”

“Then don’t,” Dan said, gritting his teeth with the effort of holding back his own orgasm. He wanted to see Phil coming because he had told him to.

It didn’t take long. Phil snapped his hips up once more, and then he was shuddering. Phil shut his eyes and bit his bottom lip to hold in a sound – Dan would have to ask him not to do that next time because he wanted to hear it, and the sound of Phil moaning probably would have finished him. Phil didn’t forget him though, and in the next moment he was stroking Dan’s length to finish him. He sagged onto of Phil as he came for a third time in Phil’s hand, and he felt his body squeezing Phil’s softening cock. He shifted until Phil slid out of him, but he stayed there with his cheek pillowed on Phil’s chest as their breathing evened.

Phil was running his fingers through Dan’s curls and around the soft fur of his ears. “Are you okay, Kitten? Was that alright?”

Dan nodded against Phil’s chest. “More than alright. You?”

“Even better than I’d imagined.” Phil was still rubbing Dan’s ears idly, and the feeling of it was making Dan’s eyelids feel heavy. A purr started rumbling in his chest.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven't gotten used to writing this kind of thing.  
> I have sacrificed my dignity for you, and I hope it's appreciated...  
> ;)


	29. Chapter 29

Dan fell asleep almost immediately. Phil was no stranger to falling asleep after sex, but his nerves were jangling and his mind was racing – it would have been impossible to sleep right now, so he just lay there, content to do nothing as the Neko snored softly, half pinning him beneath his warm body.

Or Phil would have been content, if it weren’t for his brain – he believed his thoughts must be going so fast that his brain was making _whirring_ noises loud enough to wake Dan. Phil couldn’t exactly put his thoughts into concrete words. It wasn’t like he was working on a math problem where all he had to do was focus so that he could come up with a solution. No, his thoughts were scattered – they were just flickers of images and emotions. 

It took Phil some time as he was lying there, staring at his bedroom ceiling, but eventually he had a name for some of the emotions that were coursing through his body. It seemed odd to him that he had to take time to think about it to realize what he was feeling – who has to do that, you just feel, don’t you? But then he realized why this was. He was lying here beneath the boy he loved, so he thought that he should feel completely happy. So, it was hard to comprehend feeling something else. He had pictured this moment so often. Not just the reunion with Dan, but also being in bed with him, and he had always been ecstatic during these fantasies. 

Now that it was a reality, he was happy, but he was something else too. He closed his eyes, and his _whirring_ brain brought forth an image of Dan in a cell, the bars parting them. Phil felt terrified. Phil heard his mother, as she spoke to him the for the first time about Dan, when she thought that Dan was a bad person. Phil felt apprehensive, knowing that she would be meeting Dan for the first time in the next few days. Phil thought about his dwindling bank account. He felt uneasy.

More than anything, Phil pictured awful things happening to Dan, and he pictured random people he knew from his hometown. A man who sold ice-cream insulted Dan. A bully Phil knew from high school shoved Dan. The Reverend in the church that Phil attended as a boy made a scathing sermon about Dan. A librarian refused to issue Dan a library membership card. A boy who worked at a sandwich shop spat in Dan’s food. 

Phil pictured all of these things happening to Dan when he moved back home with him, and he didn’t know what to do. There was a reason why he had never seen a Neko before moving to London – Rawtenstall was a small town, and Phil doubted that anyone else who lived there would have met someone like Dan before. All they would know about him were the stereotypes gleamed from tv and movies. 

Phil wanted Dan to be safe and happy, and he was afraid that wouldn’t be possible in a small town. Yeah, afraid was a good word to sum up Phil’s feelings at the moment. He wanted to be happy and this moment – lying in bed with his boyfriend – it should be perfect, but he was so afraid for the future that he couldn’t feel it. He was afraid that Dan would be miserable in Rawtenstall. He was afraid that someone would take Dan from him again, like Neko House had. He was afraid that he was dreaming right now and that he would wake up to the reality that his mother hadn’t given him the money in time to buy Dan before someone else did. 

Dan shifted on his chest, and Phil tried to slow his thoughts, convinced for a moment that his brain actually was making a noise loud enough to wake him. Dan murmured something incomprehensible against Phil’s chest. Then he looked up, blinking at Phil. “Did I fall asleep?”

“Yes. You were only out for about 15 or 20 minutes though.”

Dan groaned. “You make me feel like a cat, you know that?”

“No, what do you mean?” Phil laughed.

“Have you seen the comic strip in the newspaper with the cat? The fat orange cat with stripes. There’s this thing that happens to the cat whenever he steps into a sunbeam – he melts into a puddle of cat on the ground and starts snoring contentedly. You’re a ray of sunshine, you know that? And you make me feel like a cat.”

Phil snorted. “You’re silly.”

Dan shifted slightly. “My stomach is sticky. Why is my stomach sticky?”

Phil pressed his lips together to hold in a laugh, though Dan was jostled slightly so Phil couldn’t hide it. “Sorry, not laughing at you. Your stomach is sticky from when you came. We should probably clean up. Wait here.”

Dan rolled off him so that Phil could get a damp washcloth from the bathroom. Then he sat on the end of the bed while Dan cleaned himself. Dan was looking away when he asked softly, “You’re quite and you look like you’re thinking very hard about something. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m being stupid.” Phil shook his head insistently, but Dan wasn’t looking at him.

“You couldn’t be stupid if you tried, so what’s wrong? Was it… the sex? Did I do something wrong?”

Phil gaped, horrified that he’d made Dan insecure, so now he had to tell the truth. “No, it was perfect. I wasn’t thinking about that. Dan, I am just worried I might lose you or that something might happen. I want so badly to make you happy.”

Dan dropped the washcloth in surprise while Phil was talking to him. “You’re not going to lose me, and you do make me happy. I’ve been worried… I’ve been thinking that I won’t be able to make you happy.”

Phil reached out to squeeze Dan’s hand. “Why would you ever think something so crazy? Of course you make me happy.”

“Considering what we’ve been through, I hope it’s not too soon to think about where we’re going. Like, where do you see us in 10 years?”

This seemed to slow the racing thoughts in Phil’s head. The immediate future scared him, but the long-term future seemed better. Phil always liked to think that he would have his life together one day, like in 10 years from now. He nodded as he thought about it. “I think that things will be good in 10 years. I’ll have a steady income. Maybe my YouTube will have taken off. Yours too. We’ll be able to afford an apartment in a nice city, like Manchester. Or maybe we’ll be able to afford to come back to London.”

Dan nodded. “That all sounds nice, but you’ll be 32. Will you be happy just living with a boyfriend by that point in your life?” He shook his head quickly when Phil’s eyes widened. “I’m not asking you if you want to get married someday – I’m pointing out that we can’t get married. I’m not legally allowed to get married to anyone. And if you wanted kids, no one is going to let someone with a Neko boyfriend adopt a kid.”

Phil felt his shoulders relax, now that he knew this was all that was bothering Dan. “We could adopt a dog. Do you like dogs?”

“Yeah, I love dogs. I saw a lot of dogs when I was living on the streets before I met you. They’re great. So… that would be enough for you? You, me, and a dog in an apartment in a city? That’s enough of a future for you?”

He was still holding Dan’s hands and he gave them a squeeze. “Yes, of course. I love you. You’re all I want and need. That’s the most amazing future I could possibly imagine. When I was younger I always thought I wanted the cookie-cutter life: wife, 2.5 kids, and a house with a white picket fence. Now that I know you, you’re better than my wildest fantasy.” He looked down at their clasped hands. “This is all I need.”

“What about your mum?” Dan asked, drawing Phil’s attention back to his face. “I’m meeting her in a day or two, right? What is she going to think about you dating someone who you can’t ever marry or have kids with?”

Phil had been a bit worried about that himself, but he gave Dan a reassuring smile. “Mum wants me to be happy, and you make me happy, so she’s going to love you. Did I tell you what she gave up so that you could be safe? She sold her timeshare in Florida. She loved that timeshare.”

Dan’s eyes widened. “That… makes me a bit nervous.”

“Don’t be. She was happy to do it. As for the rest, my mum is an optimist. She’s not going to worry that we can’t ever get married or adopt kids – she’s going to hope that the laws change one day so that we can do all that if we wanted to. And you know what? I’m an optimist, too.”

 

 

While Dan was in the bathroom, Phil got dressed and then checked his phone for messages. He had a text from Linda, which he opened out of curiosity. It was only two short sentences: _Did you get him back? Is he safe?_

Phil thought about it for a moment. She had been the reason why Dan was taken from him, but then she helped to get him back. That seemed like it earned her one word and nothing else, so he texted back, _Yes._

Linda had been his girlfriend for 6 months. When he met her, he didn’t know many people in London – just his brother and some coworkers from the stationary store. He had been lonely when he met Linda, and he had held onto her like he was a man lost at sea and she was a buoy. Linda had been a big part of his life, but not anymore. As he blocked her number and deleted her from his contacts, he accepted that he was never going to see her again. In her time she had done both good and evil things, and they had canceled each other out. She was nothing to him anymore.

Phil left his bedroom, searching for the person who was everything to him. He leaned in the doorway of the bathroom, watching Dan arrange his curly fringe across his forehead. Dan caught sight of Phil in the mirror. He didn’t turn around, but he gazed at Phil’s reflection as Phil smiled at him. Dan returned the smile, flashing his dimples.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting so close to the end! This is exciting -- I can't wait to share because I really hope that you all will find it satisfying. I just want to thank you all for sticking with me during this journey. I want to let you know what this fic and this community has meant to me.  
> I discovered AO3 around February when my mom was in the hospital for 2 weeks, and the stories on this website were a lifeline for me. I couldn't focus on anything else, so I read. As my mom was recovering (she's home and feels much better now), I started writing. It had been a year since I wrote anything and I had never written fanfiction before, but I requested my invitation from AO3 and started writing "Stray Cat" because I wanted to give something back to this community that got me through one of the worst times in my life. Thank you <3


	30. Chapter 30

After spending most of the day finishing the packing of Phil’s bedroom, Phil announced that he was hungry. Dan asked, “Do you have anything in the kitchen? Or should we order something?”

Phil grinned mischievously, which made Dan narrow his eyes in apprehension. “No to both of those options. I think I’d like to take you on a date. We’re going to eat at a nice restaurant. How does that sound?”

“A date?” Dan tried to sound casual, though the thought made his stomach flutter with nervousness. “Of course. A first date is the next logical step after having sex and discussing the possibility of getting married someday.”

Phil looked a bit crestfallen. “You really don’t want to? I thought it would be fun.”

“Sure, it _might_ be fun.” Dan sighed. “Look, if we’re going to do this boyfriend thing, you have to understand that I use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. Please don’t take it personally.”

“I won’t, so long as you agree to then tell me what’s wrong. Talk to me, please.”

“I just… pictured us in a fancy restaurant and I got scared. Everyone who saw us there and didn’t know us would think you owned me and that you’d brought your sex toy into a nice place to eat, and they’d hate us. I don’t care if people judge me or say things to me, but I don’t want to see it happen to you. You’ve given up too much for me already.” Dan glanced around the room of the apartment that they would be leaving soon, and then he looked at Phil. Phil looked like he was about to start crying, so Dan forced himself to smile as he said, “Hey, you know, this could be fun. But let’s just go to place without a dress code. Someplace that I can wear a beanie to cover up my ears. Is that okay?”

Phil shrugged. “I don’t want you to have to hide who you are. But if it makes you more comfortable for now, then okay.” Then his face brightened. “Hey, I know a great place to eat actually! It’s a self-serve restaurant that makes comfort food. You’ll love it.”

“Sounds great.”

 

 

Thirty minutes later, they were standing before a counter filled with ready-made plates of food kept warm under a hot lamp. Dan was pleased to see that no one gave him a second glance while he had his ears hidden under a teal beanie and his tail tucked into the leg of loose sweatpants.

“I think I’m going to get a burger.” Phil declared. “What about you?”

Dan selected a tasty-looking plate of fish and chips. They ordered chocolate milkshakes to go with it and then sat in a booth in a corner to enjoy their meal. “So, what do you usually talk about on dates?” Dan asked with feigned coyness as he bit a chip.

Phil laughed. “Stop being so damned sexy, Dan. Not when we’re in public and I can’t do anything about it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He dropped the fake personality. “Seriously though, penny for your thoughts.”

“Hmm, there was something I wanted to tell you. While you were gone, I read a bit of what you wrote in your notebook.” Phil took a sip of his milkshake, and Dan couldn’t tell if Phil was teasing him with suspense or giving him a chance to react. Then Phil continued, “You’re brilliant. You know that, right? You’re going to be amazing on YouTube. I can’t wait to watch the video you scripted. Everyone is going to love you.”

Dan wasn’t so sure about that. He was a Neko and he was used to people hating him on sight – Phil and his brother had been the only exceptions so far. He felt so safe right now, hiding behind a beanie, and he thought of asking Phil what he thought about him wearing it in his first video. But, no…

Dan remembered the idea that had drawn him to YouTube: he could express who he really was on this website. Of course he would have to admit that he was a Neko. So, he said, “Thanks, Phil.” Then he remembered the video that Phil edited right before Dan disappeared. “Oh! Your chocolate orange video. You still have to post it.”

“I posted that a few days ago actually. I… I thought you would want me to.”

“You were right. That’s great. Did your subscribers like it?” Dan’s hands itched for a laptop. He wanted to check the comments to see people welcoming Phil back to YouTube; he had an odd desire to write a comment doing the same.

Phil shrugged. “I hope they did, I really do, but I haven’t looked. I was too worried about you to log into YouTube. I’ll check later when we get home.” Before Dan could say anything, Phil went on, seeming caught by a sudden fit of excitement. “Hey, would you help me with something?”

“Of course. Anything. What is it?”

“Since my mum asked me to move home so that I could focus on doing something I love – did I tell you about that? She wants me to do YouTube for a living. Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about it, and I decided what I want to do for my next video. It seems right since I’m returning after a long break. I used to do Q&A videos with crazy questions subscribers send me.”

“I remember watching a video called ‘Zebra’. You want to do a video like that?” Then Dan remembered that Phil had a friend join him in that video, and suddenly he was afraid of what Phil was about to say.

Phil nodded. “Yes, exactly like that. All you would have to do is read me the questions. I think it will be fun.” He saw something in Dan’s expression that made his smile fall. “I mean, if you want to… I thought it would be good exposure for your channel.”

He felt a pang of guilt as he realized what Phil was offering him out of the goodness of his heart, but didn’t Phil see how this could hurt him? Didn’t he see that Dan wanted to protect him? If the thought of walking into a restaurant with his ears out made Dan nervous, it was nothing in comparison to the thought of appearing in Phil’s video like that. He would not let what he was destroy Phil’s career by association.

“Oh!” Phil’s eyes widened as he appeared to realize something, and Dan’s shoulder sagged in relief since he didn’t have to explain it. “But of course, you haven’t started your channel yet. You’ll want to do that first and post your first video before we collab.”

Dan nodded slightly, happy to put off this difficult conversation. He looked down to his mostly untouched plate. He didn’t want to think about this anymore. He took a bite of flaky fish, savoring the taste of the batter.

Dan wanted to enjoy this moment – he didn’t know how it had happened and how any of this was possible, but here he was. He was doing something normal, eating good food, and he was doing this with his favorite person in the world. Dan felt like the universe had made a mistake because something so good couldn’t possibly be happening to him, but it was. Dan smiled across the table at Phil, who smiled back.

 

 

It was dusk when they were strolling through the London streets on their way home. Phil was craning his neck around, like he was trying to see everything around him at the same time, and it made Dan laugh. “What are you looking for? If you keep doing that you’re going to make your head spin like an owl’s.”

Phil turned to smile at him. “I just want to see it all, so that I’ll remember. Until the next time we come here. Are you going to miss London?”

“Hmm… It’s a unique place. I’ve never lived anywhere that has pigeons and rats the size of small dogs.”

“Yeah, that’s a bonus. It’s like free pets all over. Just open your door or window and let them wander in.”

Dan shook his head, biting his lips to hide a smile. “Okay, now I’m glad we’re leaving London. Seriously though, I have liked it here. I like being able to get food somewhere at 2am when I’m hungry. It feels like the city has the same sleep schedule as me – practically nonexistent – so there’s always something to do here. I’m excited for the future though. I want to see where you came from. Are you going to miss London?”

“A bit. I moved here mostly because I was following my brother. Not just because I missed him, but because his life fell into place when he moved here. He got a great job, he’s been happy, and Mum is proud of him. I wanted all of that.” He flashed a grin at Dan. “I feel like I found most of that in this city, but just not in the way I had expected. So, I’m happy to move back home since you’re coming with me.”

Dan hummed in agreement as he looked at the buildings towering around them and the people rushing past them on the sidewalk. “I think I’m looking forward to moving back to a small town.”

“Are you from a small town, too?” Phil asked with wide eyes.

Dan nodded. “I was born in Wokingham. It’s not too far from here. I guess I never really got to experience the town in the way a real native would since I was kept inside all the time, but I got to look out the windows. To see it and think of it as the place I was from. It was a small town, and so I’m looking forward to living in one after the city. Also, after the start my life got off to in London… Well, there’s just some memories I have of this place that I’m not going to miss.”

Phil was silent for a moment, and then they were standing in the street before their building. Phil hesitated at the threshold, looking like he wanted to say something. Dan waited, rubbing his arms for warmth since his thin jacket wasn’t enough to keep him warm in the night that was falling around them.

Dan understood what Phil wanted to do. Phil needed to ask something, but he wanted to ask here because if it didn’t go well they could leave the unanswered question in the dark London streets, and then go inside to the warmth of their apartment, which would be undisturbed by what had passed outside.

Finally, Phil asked, “Will you tell me what happened to you?”

“Yes.”

 

 

They went inside. Phil made Dan a glass of hot chocolate and he made himself a cup of coffee. They sat on the sofa, which was undisturbed by their packing since it and the other furniture would be staying here when they left – for a moment that distracted Dan, since he liked the bed, the sofa, and the kitchen table. Good memories and good times. But the furniture wasn’t Phil’s so it couldn’t be helped. Dan shook his head to dispel these thoughts.

Phil was watching him carefully, and he didn’t miss this gesture. “You don’t have to tell me if you…”

“No, it’s not that. I’m ready. I want to tell you.” Dan pulled his long legs onto the sofa and crossed them. Phil pulled a pillow onto his lap and he hugged it while silently waiting. Dan took a few more sips of his cocoa, feeling the warmth seeping through the mug into his hands, and then into his body as he drank. Yes, he was ready to talk about this.

Dan cleared his throat and then began. “I was raised in the locked ward of a building in Wokingham. It wasn’t the best place to be a kid. There were bullies, not enough food, and none of us knew why we were there, but it wasn’t all bad. I had cassette tapes. I had a piano. I taught myself to play… And then that part of my life was over. I’ve told you a bit about the next place they moved me when I was 13. I don’t know what city it was in. There was a yard there – the building surrounded it – and I got to stand in the sun and breathe the fresh air for the first time in my life. The first time I went outside I was too scared to walk away from the building and into the grass, you should have seen me.”

Dan laughed at this image of himself, but Phil didn’t. He didn’t question it either, knowing that Dan was just trying to lessen the tension he felt building. He went on, “Anyway, it was like the last place in a way. A mix of good things and bad things. Mostly bad. I now knew what I was and what my life was going to be like. The man who looked after me – if that’s what you could call it, mostly he just lived to torment me – he told me things. I knew what was going to happen to me when I left to live somewhere else. I didn’t want to believe him. I wanted to think that he was just lying to hurt me because I wanted to look forward to leaving. I was barely existing, and I wanted a different life. What could possibly be worse than the cold cell where I spent every night alone? He told me, but I…”

Phil waited patiently. He looked like he wanted to cry or reach out, but he gave Dan a moment. Eventually, Dan went on, “I was 17 about to turn 18 when I moved again. The man who bought me took me somewhere in a car. I don’t know where we went. It seemed like we drove for a while and I was too scared to do more than glance out the window a few times. It was night by the time we got to his home, and I knew what was coming next. The way he looked at me – I knew what he was going to try to do. He was older, though. He had salt and pepper in his hair, and I convinced myself that he was an old man and that when the time came that I would be able to get away. He took me to his room and when he took off his shirt I saw that I was wrong – he was older, but he still had muscles. He forced me to the bed and there was nothing that I could do.”

There was another moment of silence, and they could hear the tap dripping at the kitchen sink and they were both breathing unevenly. He could tell that Phil wanted to say something, but he was afraid that he would do something to cause Dan to stop his story before he had told it all.

Dan needed to do this, so he continued, “So, my life had become hell. In some ways I had more freedom than I had ever had before. I was living in a mansion now. There was food whenever I wanted it. If I wanted to go in the yard, I just had to ask a security guard to let me out and he would stand there and watch me until I was ready to go back inside. No one told me to do anything… no one except… And my life became a living nightmare. I couldn’t get away. I tried to escape when I was let out in the yard, but I couldn’t get over the wall that surrounded the place, and the guards dragged me back inside. I tried to sneak out an unlocked door, a window, a second-story balcony, but someone always stopped me. I figured out that there were cameras watching me, and I stopped trying to escape. I started hiding instead. I hid under a desk, in a closet, in a wardrobe behind coats, in the attic… I would spend hours in darkness, trying not to think and not to fall asleep because I was having bad dreams. He always found me, though. No matter where I hid, the old man found me, dragged me out, and did things to me.”

Dan took a deep breath. It was almost over now. “This went on for a few weeks. But one day he announced that we would be traveling to London. When we were in the car again, he told me why he was bringing me with him. We would be staying in a hotel room, and he wanted me for company, but also for some business partners he would be meeting at the hotel. He told me to be nice to them. There were 3 of them. They were… well, you saw what I looked like after. The business partners and the old man got drunk one night, and after it was over they fell asleep. I could barely walk, but I snuck out of the hotel room and managed to find my way outside. I had no idea where to go, since I knew that any police officer would be legally obligated to just give me back to the man who bought me. So, I hid on the streets. I didn’t know how to get food. I was scared of everyone and everything. I was cold. And then there was you.”

Dan gave Phil a wobbly smile, and Phil pulled him into a hug so tight that it made his ribs creak. He felt warm and safe and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to share that I've found an app that is amazing to use with AO3. It's called "@Voice Aloud Reader" and you can use it to listen to fanfictions like they're audiobooks. I also use it when I'm editing because it is great at helping me to find typos. Sorry if this is annoying, but I think this app is amazing, so I just wanted to share. I've been using the app all the time lately -- it only took me 2 days to read "Come What May", which is a 200K-word fanfiction.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still can't get over how many hits this fic has. Thank you ♡

  
Phil hung up his phone after saying goodbye to his mum. Dan was in the kitchen with him, the Styrofoam bowls containing their breakfast cereal momentarily forgotten.

“Well?” Dan asked. “What did she say?”

  
“Dad was able to borrow that van from his friend. He’s driving now. He’ll be here in a few hours and we can start loading up the van. Unless he’s too tired to drive back, we could be in Rawtenstall by tonight.”

  
Dan nodded. “So, this could be our last day in London. What do you want to do for the next few hours?”

  
He wasn’t sure if Dan meant that to be suggestive. They had had sex that morning, and while he could never get enough of Dan, Phil was starting to feel safe in the knowledge that he and Dan would have the rest of their lives together. Meanwhile, this might be the last time he lived in the same city as his brother. Hoping that it was okay with Dan, he asked, “How would you feel about going to see Martyn?”

  
Dan beamed at him. “I’d love to. Besides, maybe we can guilt him into helping us move some of these boxes later today.”

 

  
Martyn told them that it was a good time for them to come over – he’d heard from Mum, too, and he wanted to see Phil before they left town. When they arrived at Martyn’s, Cornelia was already there. They introduced her to Dan, whom she greeted with a hug like he was an old friend, much to Dan’s surprise – Phil knew that Dan still wasn’t used to people being nice to him. Phil felt a rush of affection for the girl, and he hoped that she would be in their lives for a long time.

  
None of them felt like playing video games, so the four of them looked over Martyn’s DVD collection. Phil and Martyn wanted to watch _My Neighbor Totoro_  for the nostalgia, and Cornelia and Dan – who had never seen it – agreed. They settled onto the sofa with a bowl of popcorn that they passed around. As the animated character on the screen twitched his pointed ears, Phil felt his hands drawn to Dan’s ears, and he rubbed at the soft brown fur.

  
“Don’t please, that makes me sleepy,” Dan whispered. Then he leaned against Phil’s chest, grabbed Phil’s arm, and looped it around himself so that he was hugged against Phil. He didn’t let go of Phil’s hand and he gave it a squeeze. Phil settled down, happy with the change in position, and he returned his attention to the movie.

  
After the movie ended, they were in the mood for a double feature. Cornelia got up to put in _Spirited Away._  Before anyone pressed ‘play’, Dan asked, “Can I ask you guys something?” They all nodded, so Dan went on, “Any advice for winning over Mr. and Mrs. Lester?”

  
“For a start, they’re going to want to be called Nigel and Kath, but I guess you have to get their permission to call them that…” Martyn hesitated.

  
“That’s not very helpful advice,” Phil said, before turning his attention to Dan. “Look, don’t worry about it. They’re easygoing people. They’ll like you. You don’t have to do anything to win them over. Especially my dad who you’re about to meet – he’s a quiet guy. He probably won’t even strike up a conversation.”

  
“That’s true.” Martyn nodded. “Mum is the one who is going to interrogate you.”

  
Dan groaned and Phil could see how nervous he was, so he shot Martyn a glare. He shook his head and tried to get Dan to listen to him. “Dan, don’t worry. Please. They’re going to love you, I swear.”

  
Cornelia piped in, “This is my first time meeting Nigel, too. So, you’re not going to be the only one he’s judging.”

  
Dan nodded, and this seemed to calm him down more than anything else.

 

  
As the movie was wrapping up, Phil got a message from his father telling him that he would be there soon. Phil let him know that they were all at Martyn’s. Nigel showed up not long after that, and as Phil had promised Dan, he wasn’t much of a talker. Phil introduced Dan and Martyn introduced Cornelia. Nigel shook their hands, looked them over, and announced that he’d like to take a nap in Martyn’s bed so that he didn’t fall asleep driving tonight and run them into a ditch.

  
When Nigel left, Cornelia volunteered to help them move boxes into the van. She looked at Martyn and he groaned. “Well, I guess I have to at least drive the van over to your apartment for you, since this one can’t drive.”

  
“I can drive. I’m just not very good at it!” Phil protested. Dan was giving him an odd look, so he explained, “I’m not good at telling my right from my left.”

  
Dan looked at Martyn and begged, “Please drive us.”

  
Once they were back at the apartment, they made quick work of carrying loads of boxes to the van. Cornelia was small and couldn’t carry the heavier boxes, but she was in better shape than the rest of them, who were soon sweaty and panting. Still, it wasn’t long before most of Phil’s things were loaded into the van. When there was one load of boxes left to be carried down, they looked wistfully around the room.

  
“This feels like the finale of _Friends._ You know, the last scene where they all look around the empty apartment?” Phil asked, and the others nodded.

  
“You want to recreate the part where they leave their keys on the countertop?” Martyn withdrew his keys from his pocket and unhooked a key from the chain. He left it on the counter and Phil placed his beside it.

  
He thought about how excited he had been when he got an apartment 15 minutes from his brother’s, and then about how they would now be over 3 hours away from each other. “Mar, promise me that you’ll visit up north soon?”

  
Martyn nodded. “I promise.”

 

 

  
After Martyn drove the van back to his home, they were all hungry from their labors, and Martyn pulled what they needed for sandwiches out of his fridge. Nigel had been roused from sleep by the noise of their return, and he wordlessly joined them, seeming content to listen as the others talked.

  
During the late lunch, Nigel pulled a pencil and a small sketchbook out of his pocket. Phil saw him glancing up at Cornelia every few seconds, but she didn’t seem to notice. Eventually, he tore a piece of paper out of his notebook, and he slid it across the table to Cornelia. She took it, her eyes wide with wonder, and Phil saw a very good likeness of Cornelia sketched on the paper.

  
Martyn slid behind Cornelia, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder as he looked at the sketch. He whispered to her, “That means he likes you.”

  
“Of course I like her,” Dad said, overhearing the comment. “What’s not to like?”

  
Cornelia giggled, Martyn beamed, and Phil was grinning, but then he stopped when he saw the brittle smile that Dan had pasted on his face. Dan was jealous, and Phil’s heart broke for him. He caught Dan’s gaze, wanting Dan to understand his thoughts from his expression. He needed Dan to know, _Just wait. Be patient. He will love you, too._

After hugging Martyn and Cornelia goodbye – both Martyn and Phil pretended that they weren’t crying and neither mentioned it – they got into the van. It only had one long seat in the front, and Phil sat between his dad and Dan. His father wasn’t talking and Dan was uncharacteristically quiet since he was nervous of saying the wrong thing, so Phil turned on the radio. He tried a few stations until he found one playing 90’s music that reminded him of family road trips, and it seemed to do the same to his dad because soon they were both singing. He caught Dan humming under his breath and he elbowed Dan until he started singing too.

Dan was hesitant at the start of each of the songs that he didn’t seem very familiar with, but once he got a hang of the lyrics he sang with a bit more confidence, and he had a lovely singing voice; it was a bit higher and complemented the deeper baritone of Phil and his dad’s voices.

 

  
It didn’t seem like 3 hours had passed by the time the van was pulling into the driveway before a modest Tudor-style house. Home. Phil hadn’t been home since Christmas and he didn’t realize how much he had missed it. Dad turned the van off and said to Phil. “Ready to go in?”

  
“Just got to wake him up.” Phil nodded to Dan, who had fallen asleep with his head on Phil’s shoulder. Nigel got out of the van, leaving them alone. Phil saw his mother appear on the porch, illuminated by the porchlight as she hugged a bathrobe around herself, trying to keep warm. She smiled at his father and greeted him with a kiss when he joined her on the porch. They glanced at the van and started talking; he hoped his father was saying something good about Dan.

  
Phil jostled Dan’s shoulder until he woke up, blinking bleary eyes. He noticed the couple standing on the porch and his shoulders stiffened beneath Phil’s hand. “I want them to like me.”

  
“They will,” Phil insisted, and then he pulled Dan out of the van.

  
Mum led them all into the warm house, and then she greeted Dan with a hug, which didn’t seem to make as much of an impression on Dan as Cornelia’s hug, probably since Phil had told him that Mum was a hugger.

  
Then Mum was pulling Phil into her arms, and he melted against her. He was hit with the full weight of what she had done for him by giving him the money he needed. He couldn’t imagine where he would be right now if he hadn’t been able to save Dan. He embraced his mother and whispered to her, “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

  
She leaned away, giving his cheek a stroke. “Of course, Child.” Then she looked at the others. “I’ve been keeping dinner warm in the oven. I hope you’re hungry.”

  
Dan and Phil helped Kath by setting the table and then carrying serving plates full of turkey and side dishes to the table – Kath admitted that she went overboard with the cooking, since she was alone in the house all day worrying about them arriving safely. True to Martyn’s prediction, Kath didn’t wait long before beginning her interrogation of Dan. Phil knew this would happen since Dan wasn’t the first person he had brought home to meet the family, but this time it went a bit differently as she quickly hit a wall.

  
“Tell me Dan, what’s your family like?”

  
Dan’s ears pushed back and he looked nervous. “I… never met my parents. I don’t know anything about them.”

  
Her expression quickly wiped clean of any emotion, but Phil could see it in her eyes. Dan was a lost boy, and Phil’s mum was quickly coming to understand what had prompted him to give Dan a home. She asked, “You don’t have a family? No one?”

  
Dan glanced at Phil, but Dan didn’t say anything, perhaps worried that he would be crossing a line by declaring to Phil’s family that they considered each other family. He didn’t seem to need to say it though, judging by Phil’s mum’s wide eyes which didn’t miss a thing.

  
Kath took a sip of her drink and then changed the subject. “So, Phil tells me that you want to be a YouTuber like him. I think that’s great. What kind of videos do you want to film?”

  
Dan was a bit awkward as he began to describe his YouTube plan, but soon he was using his gift of gab to ramble about the types of sketches he wanted to film while Kath nodded encouragingly and made noises of approval. Dad, who had been sipping on a glass of wine this whole time, just stared and Phil suspected that Dan might be talking too fast for Nigel to keep up.

  
Once they had all finished with the turkey and sides, Kath declared that they would be having desert in the living room so that they could watch TV. Dan seemed a bit thrown by this since he’d just gotten used to the formal mood of the dining room, but Phil grabbed his hand, gave it a squeeze, and led him to the sofa in the living room. They settled around the coffee table and each took a slice of pie. Nigel put on a game show and they all tried to answer the trivia questions before the contestants, but Dan soon fell silent and Phil realized that he had fallen asleep, leaning against Phil’s side.

  
Nigel lost interest in the game show as well as he pulled out a larger sketchbook than he had used this afternoon, and soon it was just Phil and his mum playing. They were keeping score, and in the end Phil lost because he didn’t wager enough on the final question.

Kath turned off the TV and announced she was ready for bed. She got up and placed a kiss on Phil’s forehead. “It’s good to have you home, Child.” She brushed a hand across the curls on Dan’s forehead without waking him. “Him, too.”

  
“Thanks, Mum.” As his mum was leaving the room, Dad got up to follow her, but not before he tore the drawing out of his sketchbook and passed it to Phil.

  
“Night, son.” He left the room, leaving Phil gaping at the well-detailed sketch of himself on the sofa with Dan sleeping beside him.

  
Dan stirred at his side, blinking at the drawing Phil was holding. “What’s that?”

  
“Us.” He passed Dan the drawing and remembered what Martyn said to Cornelia. “He likes you.”

  
Tears started brimming in Dan’s eyes and he sniffled, trying to hold them in. He couldn’t stop looking at the drawing.

  
Phil nudged his shoulder. “Are you ready for bed?” When Dan nodded, they went to pick up some things that they had left by the front door when they came in, some necessities that they couldn’t do without and hadn’t wanted to dig through the truck for: toothbrushes, laptop, a change of clothes for tomorrow, and other things from Phil’s bedside drawer.

  
After a quick stop in the bathroom where they changed into their pjs, Phil led Dan to his bedroom. He smiled when Dan sat on his bed, and stood across the room, just staring for a moment.

  
Dan smirked at him. “Why are you all the way over there?”

  
“Just admiring the view.” Phil slowly crossed the room. “I knew you belonged here. I knew it, but now I see it, too. You fit here so perfectly.”

  
Dan hummed contentedly as Phil stopped to stand before him. “Here you are being all sweet, and I was thinking that you just had some kink about having sex under the same roof as your parents.”

  
“Well, there is that, too,” Phil admitted. He gently pushed Dan back into the bed as he crawled in beside him. He hesitated as he was hooking his fingers around the waistband of Dan’s pj bottoms. “Is this okay?”

  
“Yes, please.” Dan said, and he was gasping a moment later as Phil was stroking his length. Phil couldn’t get over how beautiful Dan was, especially in moments like this when he was writhing in passion beneath Phil’s hands.

  
Once Phil had made him completely hard, he decided that he wanted to try something new. “I want to taste you. Can I taste you?”

  
Dan’s eyes got wider. “I… yes.” Phil relished the little breathy sound that Dan made when he eased him into his mouth. “That feels good.”

  
Phil could feel Dan getting excited, so he put his hands on Dan’s hips and pressed them against the bed, just in case Dan lost control and tried to buck his hips up against Phil’s mouth. He bobbed up and down, and it wasn’t long before he was rewarded with the slightly bitter taste of Dan orgasming in his mouth. He swallowed and enjoyed the desperate sounds that Dan made as he was coming down from his high.

  
Phil pulled off of Dan’s softening erection and collapsed on the pillow beside him. “That was a bit louder than I was expecting. Do you think my parents heard?”

  
Dan rolled onto his side and reached out a hand to stroke Phil through his pants. “No longer into that kink?”

  
Phil quickly found that he was, though he tried to muffle the sounds in his pillow. The strokes that Dan was giving him became a bit erratic as Dan was trying to hide the fact that he was laughing. “What is it?”

  
“Nothing. Just you. You’re a bit of an odd guy, you know?”

  
“Don’t judge me. You know you’re my biggest kink, right?”

  
Dan smiled. “Good to hear. I’ve got a Phil kink, too.”

  
Phil bit his pillow to muffle the sound of his moan.


	32. Chapter 32

Dan quickly settled into life in Rawtenstall – not just in the Lester family home, but in the town as well. Kath swept over the town like a force of nature, quickly spreading the word that a Neko had become a valued member of their family. Apparently, Kath had quite an influence in the town – she ran a book club, a garden club, and she was very active in several charity groups. No one wanted to cross her, so no one questioned Dan’s presence as he walked around town. Soon, he even felt at ease going anywhere he wanted, even alone. He was free.

That was in his daily life. His online life was different. He wanted to start a channel, but it felt the same as walking into a new community, and he expected to be chased out of it, like the townsfolk chased the monster away in the movie _Frankenstein._ In the end, the only reason he decided to film his first video was Phil – not to say that he was being pushy, Phil barely mentioned the video. All Phil did was believe in him. So, Dan positioned himself before a camera in the Lester’s guest room, determined not to disappoint Phil. When he showed Phil the footage, he half expected Phil to say it was bad, but Phil insisted that he loved it and helped him to edit the video.

They posted it and kept the laptop open for the whole day, watching as comments sporadically drifted in, mostly people coming from a plug that Phil gave him. Dan was fixated on the negative comments, but Phil kept drawing his attention back to the good ones that he read out loud, and Dan had to admit that there were more positive comments than negative ones. Dan was starting to believe that he could do this.

They went upstairs after a long day, and they settled into bed. Before he fell asleep, Phil said, “I want to film my video tomorrow.”

Dan stiffened beside him, but Phil didn’t notice. He just hoped that Phil forgot about it by tomorrow.

He didn’t. Dan walked into their bedroom after a late breakfast to find Phil sitting on the bed as he was setting up the camera. Phil smiled. “There you are. Are you ready to do this? I am still buzzed with caffeine, and I always like to film when I feel like this. So, are you ready? Could we film now?”

Dan couldn’t help but smile at Phil, but his smile wobbled as he prepared to deny Phil – the man who had saved him – the one thing he had ever asked of him. “Listen, Phil…”

Phil stared down at the camera in his hands. “You don’t want to be in my video. Why? I thought you liked my videos.”

Dan sat beside Phil on the bed. “I love your videos. You know that. I love your videos so much that I don’t want to hurt them by appearing in them.”

Phil gaped at him as he realized what was wrong. “Dan, I don’t care about that.”

“I do. You could lose so many subscribers if you reveal that someone like me is in your life.”

Phil shook his head. “If someone unsubscribes for that reason, then good. I don’t want their views.” He grabbed Dan’s hand and squeezed. “Please, Dan. What people think about me online is the least of my concerns. I care about you. You’re amazing. I want to do this video to show that to people.”

Dan nodded. “If you want this that badly, I’ll do it. I owe this to you.”

“I don’t want you to do it because you owe me. I want you to do it because you want to.”

“I’m never going to do it for that reason. I’m so scared that this will have consequences for you. I want to make you happy. That’s all. I’ll do this if it makes you happy.”

Phil shook his head. “Not if it makes you unhappy.”

Dan laughed because the idea of being unhappy was so ridiculous to him now. Didn’t Phil realize how he made him feel? Maybe not, so Dan decided to tell him. “I am happy. Completely. For the first time in my life. Being here with you… do you know what it means to me? You taught me the meaning of the word ‘home’. I used to just think that meant a place where people go to sleep at night, but since you brought me into yours I learned that home is so much more: warmth and food and laughter. It’s friendship and love and feeling safe – it’s everything. All these things rolled into one concept, one feeling that I never want to be without.”

Phil squeezed Dan’s hand harder. “Then don’t you see how silly it is – in the face of all that – to worry about the reaction to a video? I have you and you have me, and nothing outside of that matters. I don’t care what people think about me, and the fact that you are part cat is the least interesting thing about you. Once they see what I see, they’re going to be crazy about you.”

At times like this, Dan still had trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that someone as incredible as Phil cared about him. He asked, “Why do you like me?”

“I’m glad you asked because I’ve had this answer ready for a while.” Phil took a deep breath, as if he planned to be talking for a while. “I like you because you’re funny and sweet and clever. I can’t stop thinking about you – you’re like an earworm, you know, one of those songs that drifts into your head and you keep hearing it over and over again. But I never want to stop hearing this song. I love your laugh and your dimples and the way you talk.”

Dan’s face flushed while Phil talked, and he looked away. “No one thinks like you, though. The people watching your videos are going to see my ears and think they know everything about me. They’re not going to give me a chance to show another side of myself.” Dan waved his hands when Phil started to protest. “I’m not trying to back out. I’ll do it and I’ll probably have fun doing it, but I just don’t want you to be surprised when the reaction is bad. I know that the comments on this video are going to be awful.”

Phil was shaking his head. “Dan, what can I do to show you that none of this matters?” Phil looked around the room and then gasped when he saw something near his desk.

“What?” Dan asked as Phil got up. He couldn’t see what Phil picked up. Phil didn’t answer him, and he walked over to the full-length mirror by his closet. Dan got up to stand beside him. “What are you doing?”

“I’m showing you that the tail and ears don’t mean anything. They don’t define who you are as a person. I know it and the people who see you in this video are going to know it, too.” Phil started drawing on his own face while looking in the mirror. Dan stood beside him, his mouth hanging open as he watched Phil in awe. Phil drew cat whiskers on his cheeks and darkened the tip of his nose. Then he turned to face Dan. “What do you think?”

He started to say something sarcastic, taking a dig at how Phil had run the marker too many times across his nose so that the black had started to flake off, but he couldn’t do it. The full force of the gesture that Phil was making had hit him, and Dan felt his eyes getting misty and his throat was closing with emotion. He choked out, “I don’t know. I… I just… I really love you. So much.”

“I really love you so much, too.” Phil extended the point of the marker. “Would you like some whiskers, too? Then we can match.”

Dan nodded and Phil leaned in to start sketching on his face. It was a strangely intimate feeling.  
  
Phil smiled. Their faces were only a few inches apart. “This is one of my favorite things to do.”

“What? Drawing on faces?” The marker was rubbing on the tip of his nose now, and Dan resisted the urge to sneeze and the smell of the marker wasn’t helping. “You’re a strange person, but I like that about you. Just remind me to never pass out drunk at a party with you.”

Phil laughed as he put the cap on the marker. He stepped back to admire his work. “You look cute. So, are you ready to do this?”

Dan nodded, hoping that he didn’t look as nervous as he felt. He stayed nervous while they filmed, but filming the video was fun and he tried to relax. Then they watched back some of the footage that they shot, and suddenly everything seemed to be okay.

As Phil was editing, Dan tried to see the video from the perspective of someone who believed that Nekos were sex toys, but he couldn’t. No one who saw this video would believe that their relationship was one of sexual slavery.

They acted a bit shy on camera together at first, but it was obvious that there was something else between them, hidden just below the surface. When Dan looked at Phil, he looked like a man seeing the sun for the first time. He also saw the way Phil looked at him. It was a bit subtler, but Phil looked perfectly happy, content, and satisfied, like a man sinking into a warm bath. Both of them looked like they didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world. They looked like they belonged together. So, how could someone see this video and believe otherwise?

Suddenly, Dan didn’t care anymore if they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. If you have enjoyed this story, I hope that you will leave a comment -- I love comments more than anything. What did you think of ending it with PINOF? It felt right, given the fact that Dan was a cat hybrid in this story.
> 
> I also hope that if you enjoy my writing that you will check out my other fic, "Believe in Me". Now that "Stray Cat" is complete, I will be regularly posting chapters in this other story. It has a more mature version of D&P, a highly detailed setting, illusions, and I'm handling some interesting themes. 
> 
> Sorry for the plug, but I just really hope to see you there <3


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